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Original poster

Single after an awful lot of years - how to learn how to flirt again?

64 replies

HTCPCPTEA · 18/02/2017 20:09

Flirt isn't really the right word, but not quite sure how to express it. Was with now ex-H for 26 years (we got together when I was 21) - split up some months ago after a difficult few years. I've now got to the place where I'd definitely be interested in someone anyone to sleep with another relationship.

But I think I've totally lost the plot on how to do this! There's a rather attractive bloke I know, and a couple of times he's made comments I could have picked up on & I just totally closed down (eg mentioning he hadn't seen a film when I was expressing interest in it, not exactly anything but might be IYKWIM - 30 years ago I'd have said 'I'm going next Tuesday &'ll have space in the car if you wanted to see it & were free' - I just randomly carried on the conversation with someone else there). There's been a couple of other similar situations (different person)
Has anyone else had this problem after being in a relationship for years and years. Or am I just weird Confused ???

OP posts:
AutumnRose1988 · 19/02/2017 20:50

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Original poster
HTCPCPTEA · 19/02/2017 20:51

Well spotted, AutumnRose . . . Oh well, it's nothing I haven't been lamenting to my friends IRL, and I can assume good looking blokey probably isn't on MN Grin

OP posts:
daisymai08 · 19/02/2017 20:53

Flirting is an interesting term because actually all you need to do is appear relaxed and interested. I've been single since December and am not interested in a relationship however have ended up on several dates just by chatting to people when out and about....
Just be friendly and chat it will work xxx

AutumnRose1988 · 19/02/2017 21:03

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AutumnRose1988 · 19/02/2017 21:03

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noego · 19/02/2017 21:13

One thing you learn from flirting is how to deal with rejection :)

AutumnRose1988 · 20/02/2017 06:31

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noego · 20/02/2017 07:42

Well you have to be in the real world. Flirting doesn't always "come off" does it?
I offered to let her practice on me, but had no reply, so I have been rejected :)
Learning to deal with that rejection is part and parcel of the flirting game. Sometimes your flirting might be directed at someone who is already in a relationship, so the flirting might fall on stony ground.
If you are going to flirt properly you have to be nonchalant about it. Sometimes saying Hi to someone can get you a look of disdain, learning to move on without taking it personally is part of the fun :)
Come on, lets get real :)

AutumnRose1988 · 20/02/2017 10:03

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noego · 20/02/2017 10:16

Are you flirting with me Autumn :)

I was just generalising :)

AutumnRose1988 · 20/02/2017 11:17

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noego · 20/02/2017 11:38

Well, I can't read your body language from here Autumn so am taking a few liberties :)

I'll take it that my technique needs to be improve :)

I don't know how you put winks on here :)

But I am wondering if you have a band of gold on the third finger of your left hand :)

AutumnRose1988 · 20/02/2017 12:52

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noego · 20/02/2017 13:21

No I don't :)

But because you do I'll have to bid you avoir :)

AutumnRose1988 · 20/02/2017 14:03

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Cruntie · 20/02/2017 14:35

Could an admin delete this whole page? I just cringed myself inside out reading it, and would like to spare others the same pain.

noego · 20/02/2017 15:30

There has to be one!!

Its a thread about flirting Cruntie. And a little pee taking has been going on :)

Try not to take life to seriously Ay :)

Perhaps you are one of those that look at me with disdain when I smile at them? :)

AutumnRose1988 · 20/02/2017 16:15

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noego · 20/02/2017 18:22

Now now Autumn, we are being a tad judgemental and presumptuous aren't we.
I was merely pointing out to cruntie that this is a light hearted thread (as flirting should be) and I was being diplomatic when I wrote.
Perhaps you are one of those that look at me with disdain when I smile at them?
Instead of being blunt and saying "get your head out of your bum" :)

stubbornstains · 20/02/2017 18:29

Sadly I'm more likely to be standing by a sports field in kit with a bunch of 10 year olds hanging around . . .

...and that is precisely where my friend who's just come out of a 15 year relationship met her new man Grin.

By the way, you just have to grit your teeth and laugh when you're doing rural OLD.....there's a funny side to seeing all your mates' exes on there, honest there is!

AutumnRose1988 · 20/02/2017 22:20

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springydaffs · 20/02/2017 23:57

Bloody hell. Leave the poor guy alone!

Reading the suggestions above I realise I flirt constantly. Well that's a bit erm unsettling. I certainly don't intend to flirt. Just being friendly, yknow?

I asked a guy in the supermarket where the veg bags were and he started like I'd shot him with a pistol and started spluttering about his wife. I was astonished. I literally asked the bod next to me - hadn't even really registered the gender tbf - where the veg bags were... because I couldn't find them.

HarmlessChap · 21/02/2017 02:08

Well if I follow the advice given elsewhere in MN and look to end my relationship I'll have to brush up on my spotting signs of flirtation so I'd better blatantly place-make.

AutumnRose1988 · 21/02/2017 07:30

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noego · 21/02/2017 08:26

You're right though- some men do think that a woman being chirpy and using verbal communication equals a proposition. I think those are men who probably don't have a lot of confidence or aren't particularly good at reading situations...they could also be idiots who thinks all women must want them lol x

Not this guy, you have at least got to buy me dinner :)

Thanks for defending me springy, but as you can see from the username. I really do not take anything personally :)