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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

**Trigger warning from MNHQ** "Need help, my father is abusive but can't leave "

67 replies

jainak · 17/02/2017 22:03

Since I was 13/14, I have been suffering from physical and sexual violence from my dad. It has been very horrible. I just spoke up about it a couple of months back. Until then I had it all within me for the last 9-10 years. I've just had enough of him now. I am also fearing being forced into marriage. I still feel I am too young for all that to happen to soon in my life now. I want to share with you a part of my life which is as follows ,

At the age of 14 (2007), he sneakily began to touch me inappropriately and this has continued to happen since then . The first time it ever happened was one day after school when it was the end of the day , time to go home. That day I was supposed to go home with my best friend but that got cancelled and I had to go home with dad as he came to collect me , he was waiting for me at the school gates, waiting to take me home. Nevertheless did I know that I was going to be attacked as soon as I got home . As soon as we entered the house , torture began. He forced me to take my clothes off and undress in front of him so that he could enjoy. He had forced me to have sex with him.I was very frightened and scared to act on anything or to do anything about it as I was in a lot of fear . I was forced to watch the dirty naked movie scenes on his laptop and then forced to go in the shower with him; whereby he would torture me , make me unconscious and then rape me and leave me there to deal with it .

Then at the age of 17/18, he still continued to do that but it kept on getting more frequent with more and more amount of torture.

Now I am 21 , and it's still happening on a regular basis. I just feel like there is no end to it , even though I have tried my utter best to make it stop by going to the police for help; but even then I was forced my grandparents and my uncle to withdraw my statement that I had given with regards to dad.

I really need some helpful advice from you all to help make this stop somehow .

OP posts:
FookyNell · 17/02/2017 22:07

www.womensaid.org.uk/

Chickpearocker · 17/02/2017 22:10

Contact karma nirvana www.karmanirvana.org.uk/contact/

They help stop forced marriages

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:13

Ok many thanks , I will definitely have a look at these sites

OP posts:
ememem84 · 17/02/2017 22:13

Agree. Woman's aid can gelp

HardcoreLadyType · 17/02/2017 22:14

Southall Black Sisters are another charity who will be able to help.

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:15

Okay , sure
Thanks a lot

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 17/02/2017 22:17

Can you leave the house tomorrow and go back to the police?

BurningBridges · 17/02/2017 22:18

Can you give us some idea which part of the country you are in so we can suggest local as well as national organisations?

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:19

No I can't leave home tomorrow . I am in London

OP posts:
SarcasmMode · 17/02/2017 22:19

Do you have any friends you could stay with for a bit?
Are you allowed to work?
If so maybe seek a job that involves being further afield.

Yes to WA.
Are your uncle and GPS likely to get violent too?

I'm so sorry some people are sick.Sad

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:20

Uncle n GP are okay people

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 17/02/2017 22:21

why can't you leave?

Nel1883 · 17/02/2017 22:21

Leave right now go into shelter, friends house anywhere!

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:22

I ran away from home in November , I had just had enough and wanted to get away from all this that was happening. I stayed at a friends house then for a couple of weeks

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 17/02/2017 22:23

And then what happened?

RebelRogue · 17/02/2017 22:23

Ring women's aid. They will help you to run or go into a refuge. They will advise and support if you want to try the police route again. Are there any friends/family you can live with? Where is your mum? Are you working/studying?

P.s. How come you're only 21 if you were 14 in 2007?

Nel1883 · 17/02/2017 22:24

Why did you go back to the abuse?

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:25

I can't leave home until I get married if u look at it from a cultural perspective. And if I do I will be cut of from all of my family

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 17/02/2017 22:26

If you look at it from a cultural perspective I know of no cultures that would not condemn what your father is doing.

Who else lived with you?

NowtAbout · 17/02/2017 22:27

You are being very brave.
Contact the organisations above. If your family do cut you off then I am very sad to say they are not worth staying for. Be strong. You all have ready have been.

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:28

It all stated in 2009, when I was 13

OP posts:
Nel1883 · 17/02/2017 22:28

But jainak do they no what is happening to you? Surely that is reason enough to leave. They must understand that.

Sassypants82 · 17/02/2017 22:29

Is your mother there? Can you speak to her??

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:30

No one in my family believes me that it is actually happening

OP posts:
Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:31

Mother has disowned me , mum and sister don't want to speak to me for the rest of their life

OP posts:
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