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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

**Trigger warning from MNHQ** "Need help, my father is abusive but can't leave "

67 replies

jainak · 17/02/2017 22:03

Since I was 13/14, I have been suffering from physical and sexual violence from my dad. It has been very horrible. I just spoke up about it a couple of months back. Until then I had it all within me for the last 9-10 years. I've just had enough of him now. I am also fearing being forced into marriage. I still feel I am too young for all that to happen to soon in my life now. I want to share with you a part of my life which is as follows ,

At the age of 14 (2007), he sneakily began to touch me inappropriately and this has continued to happen since then . The first time it ever happened was one day after school when it was the end of the day , time to go home. That day I was supposed to go home with my best friend but that got cancelled and I had to go home with dad as he came to collect me , he was waiting for me at the school gates, waiting to take me home. Nevertheless did I know that I was going to be attacked as soon as I got home . As soon as we entered the house , torture began. He forced me to take my clothes off and undress in front of him so that he could enjoy. He had forced me to have sex with him.I was very frightened and scared to act on anything or to do anything about it as I was in a lot of fear . I was forced to watch the dirty naked movie scenes on his laptop and then forced to go in the shower with him; whereby he would torture me , make me unconscious and then rape me and leave me there to deal with it .

Then at the age of 17/18, he still continued to do that but it kept on getting more frequent with more and more amount of torture.

Now I am 21 , and it's still happening on a regular basis. I just feel like there is no end to it , even though I have tried my utter best to make it stop by going to the police for help; but even then I was forced my grandparents and my uncle to withdraw my statement that I had given with regards to dad.

I really need some helpful advice from you all to help make this stop somehow .

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 17/02/2017 22:31

You say he tortures you - do you not have injuries you can show to your family that will prove he's hurting you?

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:33

I do , but they still don't believe me .

OP posts:
plainchickencurrywithfriedrice · 17/02/2017 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RebelRogue · 17/02/2017 22:33

Do they live with you and your dad or somewhere else?

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:33

I have also self harmed and tried my end my life

OP posts:
Darcychu · 17/02/2017 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BurningBridges · 17/02/2017 22:34

here's a big list of organisations in London that can offer all sorts of help. They will know the pressure you are under -please confide in one of them, if not now then as soon as possible. As Nowt says above, it may be that at least for now you have to put your relationship with your family second. Look after yourself first, you have to get away.

www.sharan.org.uk/UsefulLinks.aspx

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/02/2017 22:34

Go straight to your nearest police station and ask to speak to their Domestic Violence Unit.. Tell them what is happening. They will be able to put you in contact with a charity that can help you. They will also be able to retreive your belongings.

Good luck OP.

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:34

I live with my grandparents now , dad comes to visit everyday

OP posts:
AlexanderBerry · 17/02/2017 22:35

Op might just have got mixed up with remembering dates.

Trustyourself2 · 17/02/2017 22:35

Are the people who forced you to withdraw your statement his family? Do you have any other family members you can go to, perhaps your maternal side?

Please call women's aid and let them help tò stop this monstrous abuse against you.

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:36

Mum and dad are still together , they live together

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 17/02/2017 22:36

Can't you go out when he visits? Or stick by your grandparents side so he's not alone with you? Women's aid is your best bet.

Nel1883 · 17/02/2017 22:36

What happend with mum and sister? Why have they disowned you? Because of your farther?

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:38

Yes they are part of his family

OP posts:
empirerecordsrocked · 17/02/2017 22:38

Your maths doesn't add up but apart from that please leave. Call womensaid or get to the police. Again. Get cut off by the family they're not helping you.

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:38

I have no support from both sides of the family . Neither from paternal or maternal

OP posts:
empirerecordsrocked · 17/02/2017 22:39

Even more reason to get out.

RebelRogue · 17/02/2017 22:39

Then it won't matter being cut off. They're all protecting an abuser and turning a blind eye to the victim. Go to the police. Go now .

BurningBridges · 17/02/2017 22:39

so if no one supports you what have you got to lose by leaving tomorrow?

Writerwannabe83 · 17/02/2017 22:40

So what happens when your father visits? He takes you upstairs and abused you? And your grandparents don't wonder why you've disappeared off together?

SmileEachDay · 17/02/2017 22:41

So none of the family are supportive and the only way out is arranged marriage which you don't want?

So you have nothing to stay for. Walk out of the house - now, or in the morning and go to the police.

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:44

I m off to bed now , but will reply in the morning , thank u all for ur help

OP posts:
Nel1883 · 17/02/2017 22:44

You should not care about these people cutting you off. They are not good for you.

Original poster
jainak · 17/02/2017 22:45

Ok

OP posts: