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Relationships

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Original poster

Valentine's Day, received nothing.

85 replies

babyboy2015 · 14/02/2017 16:00

Hi all,

me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now, and to this date he's never gotten anything for me on Valentine's Day.

I did give him a hint about 2 months ago and said I'd love something for Valentine's Day but he hasn't even sent me a "Happy Valentine's Day" text.

He's working away at the moment, and I can't help but feel a little crushed. I know it's silly but I really do feel disheartened as he never really does anything to make me feel loved.

OP posts:

Namechangearoo · 14/02/2017 17:36

Sorry, just remembered he's away so you won't see him.

Janey50 · 14/02/2017 17:36

Sorry you feel let down OP. I look on Valentine's day as a load of commercialised money making nonsense. I think it feels 'forced' to observe it,and my DP agrees. But that's just me. My DP tells me several times a day he loves me and that is good enough for me. I have always had a dislike of Valentine's day as I think it just serves to make people who aren't part of a couple (through choice or otherwise) feel like they are missing out,that the world revolves around happy couples. Which just isn't true.

ForAllWeKnow · 14/02/2017 17:37

Actually I think it's far worse to buy cards and flowers on Valentine's Day if you don't do similar things the rest of the year. Because then it has nothing to do with showing someone you love them, and everything to do with fulfilling an expectation.

I agree with this. It's like a romance checklist: wine/fizz - check; chocolates - check; meal - check; unimaginative, cliched banality - check...

Original poster

babyboy2015 · 14/02/2017 17:38

I posted it out on friday, so I don't know if he's received it as he's abroad.

Also he is my son's father - someone's brought this up :/

OP posts:

Adora10 · 14/02/2017 17:43

V Day can also just be an added bonus to every other day that your partner shows his love, it doesn't have to be forced or have an ulterior motive or be fake, it can just be a nice day where you get spoilt.

user128057 · 14/02/2017 18:39

I didn't get anything either OP. I didn't expect anything but deep down I would have liked him to send me a little card or something.

RedAndYellowStripe · 14/02/2017 20:25

So, you don't know if he has received the present. It might well be that he hasn't and is getting grumpy about it.
It can also be that he did send you a present but it took more time than he thought to arrive.

Have you sent him a valentine text at all? Have you spoken to him today?

It might be the last straw that broke the camel back or it's you looking for little faults because things aren't going as well as you would like.
Atm, I dot think it's possible to say either way TBH.

And btw, I agree that you shouldn't need to remind him. But you should agree with each other what is and isn't important for you.
I met DH not long before Valentine's Day and I made it clear right then I didn't want anything at all. We had a chat, he wasn't fussed so we've done it. Have you talked about each other expectations regarding VD? Does he know you see that as a sign that he really cares for you, remembering he might well not see it that way at all?

Expat38matt · 15/02/2017 08:24

I do think Valentine's Day has way too much of an onus on it!
I've never been into it and tell DH he hit the jackpot cos I really do not care (rather than saying I don't then getting upset)
He got me a random bunch of tulips when at supermarket with DD on Sunday and we joked "they'd do" for today
I have him a card. Promised him all sorts of nookie. Then hurt my back so we're sleeping in separate rooms.
Oh well
But we did say happy v day to one another and I love u which is really all that matters

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 · 15/02/2017 10:09

Sorry but I'm on the fence too... Dh didn't get me anything not even a card but paid for dinner and drinks after he saw I got a card each and Valentines cake each for him and DD. Really not a big deal. I know he loves me.

However one of my colleagues at work had SUCH high expectations for her V day it was excruciating. She got a bouquet of roses delivered to the office. A present hidden for her in the house. And a celebration at the weekend. Do I think her relationship is any more loving than mine? Hell no. Did she badger him into it and then take a million pictures of the gifts for fb? Indeed.

Its as big a deal as you want to make it into, I think daily life is much more indicative of how loving your partner is!

Boolovessulley · 15/02/2017 12:36

If you dont feel loved then end the relationship.
Nothing to do with Valentine's Day.
If someone can't cook you a meal or buy you a little gift or make you feel special then what's the point?

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