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Original poster

Valentine's Day, received nothing.

85 replies

babyboy2015 · 14/02/2017 16:00

Hi all,

me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now, and to this date he's never gotten anything for me on Valentine's Day.

I did give him a hint about 2 months ago and said I'd love something for Valentine's Day but he hasn't even sent me a "Happy Valentine's Day" text.

He's working away at the moment, and I can't help but feel a little crushed. I know it's silly but I really do feel disheartened as he never really does anything to make me feel loved.

OP posts:
VivDeering · 14/02/2017 17:18

His birthday's coming up and gets what he's getting from me? Nothing.

Why would you do this?

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 14/02/2017 17:18

and the assumptions that any man who buys for his wife/partner on valentine's does buggar-all else all year round, quite disturbing and weird

Its not an assumption when its IN THE OP!!!

If you're finding facts disturbing and weird, perhaps MN is not the place for you?

Giddyaunt18 · 14/02/2017 17:20

It doesn't have to be about gifts.

Kirriemuir · 14/02/2017 17:22

Never had one from DH in 15 years. I don't need a day to tell me to give a gift or a card. I'd much rather he surprised me on 15th may rather than fall for the carry on that is today.

If you need a card or a bunch of over priced flowers that will be dead by the weekend for reassurance then there is something wrong.

Adora10 · 14/02/2017 17:22

Tin, you don't have to justify yourself to me or your OH and all the nice things he does for you but yet you slag V day like it's the day from hell, not for all of us, I quite enjoy it, and am looking forward to my surprise dinner tonight, #sorrynotsorry

If people don't like it, then fine, but don't slate people who DO participate.

Because you are actually coming across as bothered!

Ginkypig · 14/02/2017 17:24

I think you (everyone) needs to pull back and look at the big picture. Does your partner treat you as you deserve the rest of the year? If not then v day is just an obvious symptom of a bigger problem!

Iv been with my partner for nearly 15 years, we somtimes get each other a little thing on Valentine's day somtimes not neither of us care if not because in the rest of the year we do hundreds of small things that might not even be noticeable but that show the other we care because we really do care!

Opel9 · 14/02/2017 17:25

Another one who doesn't hate Valentine's Day, but agree that it's meaningless if the rest of the year is shit and they never do anything nice. I hated getting flowers on V day from my ex twat when he was horrid the rest of the time and it was a waste of money. DP and I completely agree on zero presents because it is silly commercialism to spend a lot of money on today (except a card) but it's a fabulous excuse to get a babysitter and go out for dinner and prosecco so I am completely up for that side of it!

If he isn't showing you how important you are any other days then today just feels amplified even more. If you then can't talk to him about it, this suggests it's a big communication issue and he's not paying attention to how you feel.

JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel · 14/02/2017 17:26

HUN???!!!!

WannaBe · 14/02/2017 17:27

Actually I think it's far worse to buy cards and flowers on Valentine's Day if you don't do similar things the rest of the year. Because then it has nothing to do with showing someone you love them, and everything to do with fulfilling an expectation.

I've known couples who have gone all out for Valentine's Day, red roses, hotels with champagne and the like, and have hated each other for the rest of the year.

If you don't show someone you love them all year round then valentines flowers are completely meaningless.

OP if he never shows you he loves you any other time then the valentines card is irrelevant here. What is important is how your relationship is generally, and given it doesn't seem to be a happy one you need to ask yourself where you want to go from here.

But don't base your decision on one day, base it on the other 364.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/02/2017 17:27

OP you haven't answered what you have got him. If you haven't got him anything then tbh you can't really complain.

It would be spiteful to get him nothing for his birthday tbh.

Mittensonastring · 14/02/2017 17:28

I think valentines is horseshit. But the fact you would like a small acknowledgement even a text and he can't be arsed. Well that's the kind of shit I put up with for years, it grinds you down eventually. Small things mount up.

ForAllWeKnow · 14/02/2017 17:28

I've no interest in the nonsense of Valentine's Day, never have and I doubt I ever will. But I do understand that it is of great importance to some people.

My ex cited it as being part of the problem with our marriage; that I wasn't interested in Valentine's Day or buying him Stuff on that day.

Utter nonsense.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/02/2017 17:29

#sorrynotsorry

This isn't twitter nor are we all 5

atheistmantis · 14/02/2017 17:29

hell of course it matters how he treats the op but love is far more than a bunch of flowers on a day that isn't a wedding anniversary or birthday etc. Far more romantic is,flowers just because rather than because tradition dictates that you get your oh some flowers.
Op, what did you get for your boyfriend?

Original poster
babyboy2015 · 14/02/2017 17:29

The thing is I would of honestly been happy with just a text. The fact that he hasn't got me anything or said anything even after I've been telling him I would've loved something just shows me he's not too bothered.

To be completely honest with you I've been thinking about this for a while and the relationships not going anywhere. I feel as though I'm a single mum already. I've got a 1 year old. BF's back in May and I think we need to talk and just end the relationship.

And call me old fashioned but I think a woman should be treated without us having to remind them constantly that's what we want, it would be nice

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/02/2017 17:31

And call me old fashioned but I think a woman should be treated without us having to remind them constantly that's what we want, it would be nice

So I repeat what have you got him?

Namechangearoo · 14/02/2017 17:31

OP still hasn't been back to say she got him anything or sent him a text to say happy Valentine's. Assuming she didn't, that's some crazy double standards right there. And then to suggest he won't be getting a birthday gift because of this is - and I can think of no better word - infantile.

If you don't feel loved in your relationship, that's another matter; but if you're expecting him to do things that you don't, that's just as bad.

My DH is really not soppy but bought me a lovely card and a bouquet of 30 roses! I was Shock (and yep, I also got him a nice card and a new aftershave that makes him smell incredible!).... but outside of Valentine's Day, there are lots of small things he does to make me happy. I hope he would say the same about me!

Adora10 · 14/02/2017 17:31

Piglet: no we are not five but we can still have fun and be silly, well I can and I will.

RockyBird · 14/02/2017 17:33

Valentine's, in my mind, is for people who aren't in a relationship...yet. It's the chance to let the object of your desires know someone fancies them.

Anything else is Clintons hype.

That said if it means that much to someone their partner should do the needful.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 14/02/2017 17:33

he never does anything to make you feel loved.

Nothing else matters. This is a good enough reason to end things. You said your child. Is he not the father despite you being together three years and the baby being one?

Namechangearoo · 14/02/2017 17:34

He could easily be sitting there thinking "Oh, I really thought she was going to get me something. Maybe I won't give her these flowers after all".

Original poster
babyboy2015 · 14/02/2017 17:34

I got him a game for his xbox and a mug and card which i personalised.

OP posts:
Adora10 · 14/02/2017 17:35

It's pretty lame of him, especially if he's working away and you won't see him until May?

Namechangearoo · 14/02/2017 17:35

Have you given them to him yet? Did you send him a text saying Happy Valentine's? Or seen him today?

Might be a big misunderstanding.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/02/2017 17:35

I got him a game for his xbox and a mug and card which i personalised.

Has he actually got them yet though as you say he is away until May.