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Original poster

Dp really is an utter twat. Discuss.

101 replies

midlifehope · 11/02/2017 21:38

Dp has just had a go at my this evening for an incident that happened this morning where HE jumped on the bonnet of MY car as I was rolling down the drive to go somewhere. I had the kids in with me who saw all this. I got to the bottom of the drive and stopped and motioned for him to get off, which he did and I carried on driving.

Tonight he started a viscous argument where he had the audacity to blame me for going too fast while he was on my bonnet. WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK get on the bonnet of a moving car in the first place - freaking out a mother of 2 small kids, and being a terrible role model in terms of safe behaviour?????

OP posts:
Original poster
midlifehope · 12/02/2017 10:34

what foxysoxy said.....

The older kid found it funny - it was all done in a haha jokey kind of way. I said 'don't you ever try that. Daddy was being silly.'

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 12/02/2017 10:38

we have a joint mortgage and finances. Otherwise I would be out in a heartbeat

The finances are not difficult to sort out.

I'd head for the hills, he sounds no better than an attention-seeking toddler.

TheNaze73 · 12/02/2017 10:41

Sounds like the wheel's turning but, the hamster isn't on it

Original poster
midlifehope · 12/02/2017 11:16

It sounds terribly materialistic and you're going to flame me for this. But we moved into our house a year ago, and I don't want to leave it (he owns half). It's not just a house, it's a home. I couldn't bear it. That's my problem.

OP posts:
neonrainbow · 12/02/2017 11:27

So you can't bear to leave the house so your kids have to witness you two being twats to each other? You lost any moral high ground when you drove off with a person on your bonnet. What sort of fucking crazy behaviour is that?

Way to go putting your want of a nice house above your kids emotional wellbeing. You're both damaging them. Not just him.

RaisinsAndApple · 12/02/2017 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RaisinsAndApple · 12/02/2017 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stubbornstains · 12/02/2017 11:51

OMG, he has a boat? Please don't say it's a "project"....

Original poster
midlifehope · 12/02/2017 11:57

Thanks for the victim blaming neonrainbow. I was driving as he jumped on the bonnet (I was kind of in shock tbh). They don't teach you what to do if that happens in the highway code.... I believe if I had stopped, he wouldn't have got off, thereby creating a stale mate, and making me late for my appointment.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 12/02/2017 12:06

Is it really a home Midlife or is it really your prison?. Do you really love it that much, a house is but bricks and mortar after all.

You have written about him at great length before now and nothing has really changed.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/02/2017 12:10

They don't teach you what to do if that happens in the highway code.... I believe if I had stopped, he wouldn't have got off, thereby creating a stale mate, and making me late for my appointment.

Pretty sure they don't tell you to carry on driving when someone is on your car.

Of course he shouldn't have done it and of course you shouldn't have continued to drive.

What was the appointment that you would have missed?

Original poster
midlifehope · 12/02/2017 12:12

A bank appointment.

OP posts:
Original poster
midlifehope · 12/02/2017 12:14

That's the beauty of what he did, it not only makes me look bad for not stopping, he is attempting to thwart and control my plans for the day. Double whammy. Exactly the drama he wanted to create.

OP posts:
neonrainbow · 12/02/2017 12:14

Victim blaming? Don't be ridiculous. From this thread you appear to be just as much a perpetrator as he is. You could have killed him and you don't seem bothered by the fact that you and your husband have so little regard for each other and what you're showing your kids. Because you like your house and its too much trouble to separate finances. You're not the victim here, your kids are.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 12/02/2017 12:15

So he attempted to stop you driving off to the bank. He clearly did not want you to go there so why did he act as he did?. What happened after he got off your car?

neonrainbow · 12/02/2017 12:15

He made you look bad for not stopping? No, you risked his life to get to a bank appointment.

Any normal person would stop immediately if another human threw themselves onto the bonnet of their car.

Uiscebeatha85 · 12/02/2017 12:17

Did you not say earlier in the thread you told him you were going to meet a friend? Do you have to lie about having a bank appointment OP?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 12/02/2017 12:17

He has form for creating drama and making it all about him doesn't he.

Same with his boat, that is all about him too.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up OP: was your own childhood as dysfunctional as the example now being shown to your children?.

Uiscebeatha85 · 12/02/2017 12:18

^ to your DP I mean, not us

daisychain01 · 12/02/2017 12:18

OK so you want people to agree that your DP is a twat. So you've got that now.

It's you who has to live with him and put up with his arseholery. Not us.

Penfold007 · 12/02/2017 12:21

midlifehope why did he jump on your bonnet?

Original poster
midlifehope · 12/02/2017 12:23

Neonrainbow, so you clearly don't understand the cunning dynamics and tactics of emotional abusers. I do because I live with him. Stop defending him. I actually cannot be arsed to engage. Yes I had a very dysfunctional childhood.

OP posts:
MapMyMum · 12/02/2017 12:25

First off I thought you were going to see a friend, and now youre saying you were bringing the kids to a bank appointment?? Either way you seriously thought it was better to keep driving so you didnt end up missing your appointment...?
Second - if you were stationary or very slow I can really see this being misguided humour. But even if it was controlling, unless you felt you or your dc were in danger from him, to continue driving was reckless and stupid. You thought teaching your dc tht being on time is more important than not potentially running someone over....

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/02/2017 12:26

Did you not say earlier in the thread you told him you were going to meet a friend? Do you have to lie about having a bank appointment OP?

It is MN that she has 'lied to' unless her DH is on here

EighthElement · 12/02/2017 12:29

midlife, you can find another home you love. I love my tiny terraced house. I LOVE it. It's mine. I am not listening out for an abusive man's key scraping the barrel at 6.23 every night. Argh. A home cannot be beautiful if there's an abusive man in it.