My DH and I had separated, we are back together because he didn't want to loose our DD's and I, I don't love him at all, but I don't want to stop his day to day life with them. When we first met, I dated him to make my ex jealous, I got pregnant, we stayed together, I got pregnant again - we got married, I got pregnant again. I don't think I have ever loved him. I married him for a secure and stable life for myself and our children.
We are sexually incompatible. I need to be dominated, like BDSM. He doesn't even know this. As far as he is concerned, we have a crap sex life, but he doesn't know it's because I hate sleeping with him.
I have been sleeping with someone who gives me everything I need, but would be useless as a partner. Not least because he lives a very long way away. He flies to see me whenever my husband is away.
I know what I'm doing is hideous, I know I'm an awful person. I just can't stop myself from doing it though. I need to end things with one of them. I would leave my husband if I could have the other man instead, but I can't. I don't want to stop seeing my Dom, but I think I need to, being with him is the first time I've been happy in a decade though.
I wish I had never met my husband.