I'm cheating on my husband.

[AwfulWife17]

My DH and I had separated, we are back together because he didn't want to loose our DD's and I, I don't love him at all, but I don't want to stop his day to day life with them. When we first met, I dated him to make my ex jealous, I got pregnant, we stayed together, I got pregnant again - we got married, I got pregnant again. I don't think I have ever loved him. I married him for a secure and stable life for myself and our children.

We are sexually incompatible. I need to be dominated, like BDSM. He doesn't even know this. As far as he is concerned, we have a crap sex life, but he doesn't know it's because I hate sleeping with him.

I have been sleeping with someone who gives me everything I need, but would be useless as a partner. Not least because he lives a very long way away. He flies to see me whenever my husband is away.

I know what I'm doing is hideous, I know I'm an awful person. I just can't stop myself from doing it though. I need to end things with one of them. I would leave my husband if I could have the other man instead, but I can't. I don't want to stop seeing my Dom, but I think I need to, being with him is the first time I've been happy in a decade though.

I wish I had never met my husband.

You worry about it hurting them??? You can't worry too much as your still busy acting out 50 shades of gray with another man! If it's over with your husband then put the poor man out of his misery. Your playing him for a fool.

I would tell your DH what your fantasies are. He's not a mind reader. And end the affair. If you don't your DH will find out, and life as you know it will be ruined. Of course we can all berate you for having the affair in the first place, but no one knows what they are capable of, until they feel desperately unhappy.

Other option - open relationship.

If you really want to move on from the duplicity (and there's not much in your posts to suggest you seriously do) then you first need to be honest with yourself. You aren't staying with your H because he wants to to live with his children, you stay because it's convenient for you. That's why you got together with him in the first place, he was a means to an end and years later it's still the case.

Not only have you never loved your H but you never wanted to, not disclosing your sexual proclivities is a way of keeping yourself emotionally and physically seperate from him.

So, if you genuinely want the situation to change, you can but not changing your behaviour is a conscious choice and not owning it is one also.

You know, just like last time, when a fifty shades film is out it is remarkable the rise in threads where BDSM is mentioned.

Tell him, he'll soon want to see the back of you...

Tell him everything and say you're happy to have an open relationship and fuck who he likes and he wants gets to stay with the his children.

As things stand he is no more than a glorified sperm donor. It would be pretty grim if he had to pay a charming and lovey human being like you spousal supprt

Why can't you split up but literally live on the same street as a compromise?

That can work. He can do supper, bath time and the compromise will be they are not with you every night but surely there is a better way than this?

Or you live together and have an open relationship. It can't continue like this can it OP?

Accidentally pregnant three times? Have you not heard of contraception?

Grim

Ive sort of been there OP, I left my DP before I started a relationship with a Dom because deep down I knew it was over. Ex DP would have never entertained the idea of "hurting me" (in his eyes) and I had a realisation that as lovely as he was/ is (my daughters dad) I was never gonna fulfilled by him and in turn I was wasting his time.

He too wanted to stay together , but it was just because he was scared of change. Once the change happened (we have 50/50 split of our daughter and live 2 minutes away from each other) he realised how much better he felt out of a stale relationship and just recently he has met someone.

You have to be brave and now try to do the right thing , it will change your opinion of yourself too once you start to do the right thing.

Make sure your husband knows you are both separated, find another house either for you or him- be amazing parents and keep them the priority.

You have one life, don't waste yours or your husbands. Its hard changing things but you already don't like yourself for what your dong, he is obv miserable knowing the situation.

You are wasting your H's life stringing him along like this, be kind for once and end the marriage.

You sound horrid :( I'm
Sure your not but the way this is worded makes you sound very self absorbed.

Zombie thread.

So wrong for the poor husband on so many levels. Be an adult and leave for your families sake.

Any chance you can also get a job so your husband would not have to be working so hard and away from the family. Also would mean that you had less opportunity to cheat.