DH and I used to live in Paris and we own a flat in Paris and we have tenants - a young woman who is probably late twenties and her boyfriend. (I am early 30s and DH is 40.)
DH went on business to Paris last week. He checked on our flat, checked the tenants were happy, organised some repairs and went to his business meetings. We have had these tenants for five years and DH had always dealt with them, so he has the relationship with them.
He got back tonight and as soon as he came through the door said he wanted me to read a wats app conversation he'd had with the female tenant so that he and I had "no secrets." Turns out the female tenant's boyfriend was away the whole time he was there, so they had, had a couple of drinks together.
So the wats app conversation was a follow on from their drink. Apparently she was having problems with her boyfriend and had confided in him about it. He had told her that he was missing us (me and the DC) so it was a sort of mutual drowning of sorrows and a follow up to their chat.
Then there was another meeting organised with her, DH and mine and DH's good friend who visited him there for a few days. So there was the organising of that drink, times, places, literally a blow by blow of the minutae of what they are doing. "Getting dressed now," "on my way," "just leaving the gym have to have a shower." Hardly formal tenant/landlord conversation but not inappropriate. Then presumably they have the drink with mine and DH's mutual friend.
Then later that night she wats apps again"are you up?" Etc "it was good to talk to you about my problems." Anyway this turns into a full on counselling session where DH is telling her she's young and good looking and could meet someone better. This is arguably, also interspersed with him sending her pics of our DC and saying how much he loves his family.
Then it gets to a point where she says "just come over. I've got booze and cocaine." From what I can see DH turns her down - "I'm too tired, sorry. Besides I think if you want to save your relationship it's probably not the best idea for you to be inviting men over like that." Then from the looks of things she's called him crying and they've had a phone chat with her begging him to come over.
Then back to wats apps - and this is the bit I'm having trouble with - he says "drink some water, go to bed, touch yourself if you can't sleep! Goodnight xxx"
Then even later that night (early hours of the morning) she sends a picture of her cat, Which DH responds to (apparently he LOVED her cat when he visited her flat, to be fair, DH loves cats,) the chat continues all night until the morning and they are sending each other pictures of what they are eating for breakfast, the places they are going, what they are thinking (now unrelated to relationships just general "banter.")
And it ends today before he got on the flight.
I said, obviously this is inappropriate. I'm not going to leave you over it but it's inappropriate and you have to acknowledge how it is inappropriate and then we can move on. He also can't explain why he told her to touch herself. He says it was just a joke.
He is now annoyed with me for not having the reaction he expected. He said he thought I would find it funny (?!) and he is sulking and saying he wishes he had deleted it and not been so honest.
DH has a very low guilt threshold so I know he showed it to me out of guilt despite what he says. But now I am feeling a bit confused and conflicted. DH wants to forget about it as quickly as possible (of course.)
What do you think I should do from here?