DRY 17

[Loubilou09]

[This message is actually from Sober Sarah! She wanted this thread to start with links everyone will find useful. MNHQ]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting ebach other every step of the way. smile
We have put together some helpful info and links, to help you do this Smile tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

Tired of thinking about drinking, Belle's website filled with free stuff as well as subscription courses and an account of her four years sober.

joinclubsoda.co.uk/ Club Soda - to help you make the change you want.
www.sobersassylife.com Sober Sassy Life - A Selection of Articles, Blogs and Freebies to get you unstuck, and on the way to your Sober Sassy Life! Also has paid for courses.
thesoberschool.com/ - an online hub with the mission of inspiring and supporting women who are tired of feeling hungover

www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour - podcasts on a huge range of issues relating to addiction and recovery

www.smartrecovery.org.uk/ - an alternative to AA. Meetings nationwide and online.

Useful meditation or relaxation apps
www.headspace.com Headspace for calming the brain chatter
www.withandrewjohnson.com Andrew Johnson stop drinking app
Helpful blogs from people who are sober
sothisissober.com/ our own vxa's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lily's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lucy's blog
www.sobergrowing/blogspot.co.uk our own Sober Sarah's blog

All of these blogs contain links to loads of other brilliant blogs.

Sobriety counters
meetnomo.com/index.html
www.pilanites.com/streaks/

Hope this helps you ! Love Sober Sarah and Vxa

Thank you Sarah
That definitely resonates - the use of alcohol to soothe, whether it be a good day or bad! Think having a list of alternatives on the fridge might be a very good idea. My alternative of choice this evening will be some [light]housework - get the feel good factor when it is done, at least!

I've never eaten so much chocolate in my life..... But without the booze i am still loosing weight!!

For me, that's the lesser of the two evils!!

I would say so BG - that's great! Chocolate and weight loss - what's not to like!
Having a coffee now after my roast (with water not wine). Realised I was getting irritated with DH's drinking, which started bang on 6 pm, though. Not because I wanted some...just because - not sure. I really noticed it? He didn't buy wine for tonight - this is him cutting down (having lager and G&T instead) - so I am pleased about that.

Welcome lollie and Sung.

This board is a great place to say how you're feeling towards giving up the booze without feeling judged in any way.

I think some people are suspicious of others going booze free, maybe because it makes them look at their own habits and it makes them feel uncomfortable perhaps?

I've told dh not to buy drink in for me anymore, I hadn't really confided in him about my wanting to give it up completely.
Luckily he doesn't have issues with self-moderation like i do so he will probably only drink a few beers on a weekend.

Keep up the good work everyone.

Morning all...

Feeling less overwhelmed this morning, despite another screamer of a shift last night! Just taking things easy this morning, before heading off for final shift of the week...

Onwards...

Avoid overwhelm! Aim for as sloth like as we can get away with. Getting and staying sober is the number one priority here. You know that saying "You can't pour from an empty jug" ? We are the jug, and unless we have refilled ourseves by lots of self care, self love and sobriety its just not possible to give out any more of ourself. And that's overwhelm, and that's the temptation to say "fuck it" and have a drink, "to make me feel better" which it never, ever does.
Stay strong and KOKO :)

Welcome Sung and Lottie and hope everyone else is well? Glad you are feeling better BG

Been struggling a lot the last week, overwhelmed also by a lot of negative emotions caused by this chronic pain I'm in. A few days I did consider drinking, tbh I don't entirely know how to cope with feelings such as these without my usual coping mechanisms of drinking or exercise. Hard to feel like you are soothing or rewarding yourself when there is pain in the background.

The only reason didn't drink was pure stubbornness more than anything. Turns out my sometimes thran nature can be used to my advantage, the disadvantage of that is working on acceptance is extremely difficult.

Anyway, head down for the weekend. Have a good one

vidorra it must be hard under those circumstances. I have a chronic painful condition as well, and I use remedial things that feel nice as a reward in my head, baths, massage, meditation, a lie down during the day? Its about reframing what treats are. They can be things you already do, it's just you reframe them in your head, at the time of pain, stress, to be a treat.
Works for me, anyway.

Afternoon all,

Feeling flat here, but aware that tiredness is most likely the root cause having failed at my attempt at a long lie... Three very tough weeks at work, but over now for the weekend...

Off to meet a friend later, someone that always, usually, makes me feel better about the world in general, although sounds like he's having his own issues today...

So much chocolate milk in my life right now....

Nothing else for it but to KOKO...

Thanks Sarah, that is incredibly helpful and sorry you have similar problems That is my issue, rewards have nearly always been active things as I'm a restless, fidgety sort. I seem to either veer between pushing myself to paying for it the next day and have to lie around. I haven't yet learnt how to pace myself which is making a impact mentally too. Emotionally I'm struggling with a lot of negative feelings that aren't pretty colours to have. I have lined up the Headspace 'acceptance' series next so hoping it may help my frame of mind.

I made a list of other things I want to do - learn how to crochet, take up embriodery again as I used to do it years ago, watch more foreign films, learn to play the guitar, read more uplifting books and play more board games with the dc.

Vidorra I'm exactly the same! Type A hyper achiever, very active. Serious back injury from a young age (riding accident) which I have had to live with to a greater or lesser extent. Have made it worse over the years by "getting on with things", but then having a physical crash. Self medicating and soothing/rewarding with alcohol. Finally learned to do it differently I think. I do find re framing really does help. My brain rapidly began to say " OK done your painful physio, now where's my mint tea/headspace session/ other sober treat reward?" Rather than "where is the wine?"
I've done 365 days continuous Headspace today and the best ones I've found are Change. Acceptance and Self Esteem. Change is only 10 sessions long but I stayed on it for about three weeks :) really good. Hope this helps, pm me if you want to chat x

Thank you Vidora and Splurgle
Chronic, low level (back and plantar fasciitis), definitely ramped up by alcohol intake over the last 3 years.
Wish I had something useful to add! I am reading and learning from you all though - thank you. Think today will be harder (day 3) - Friday night and all that...really wanted to get wine in the supermarket this afternoon, and now missing it.
DH out [in the pub] for an hour or so though, so that will make it easier. Haven't told him I am doing this - trying not to make a big deal of it. I'm becoming hyper aware of his drinking though - last night was fairly tame for him (10 units). He looks like a drinker now. Know I need to do this for both of us and our son.

414 days today. I can't believe cravings are so low (compared to 413 days ago - I barely think about drinking now!

Congratulations :)

Fantastic going miscookie, well done!!!

That is precisely me Sarah. Nice people would say I'm extremely driven, close family more honestly that I am very competitive especially with myself. Even my hobbies and interests in the past have been things I can measure success at - always wanting to know more or do better and faster. The drawback of that is never feeling I have done good enough or satisfied with my achievements. It's a strange new world I am not accustomed to learning to slow down, appreciate what I have and fulfilled with what I can attain. I am definitely going to take your advice and try to reframe things in my head. Thank you for your post and the heads up with Headspace. I am very impressed with your year run!

How did you get on over the weekend Sung? Really well done, first few days can be hard.

Congratulations misscookie - well done!

Stayed 100% - thank you vidorra . I will admit to really wanting wine at the start of both evenings but kept myself distracted (I've got loads of jobs ticked off this weekend, so feeling very good about that). Had fillet steak dinner last night and bought red shloer to go with it (never done that before).

Downside was realising, again, one of the reasons why drinking has become such an ingrained habit. I join in. I hate seeing DH drink as much as he does when I am sober (bottle of red wine + lager + gin last night) - in addition he started an argument last night over nothing. He basically decided to take something I said completely the wrong way, refused to listen to further clarification and was impossible to reason with. Been there so many times. So bored of it, so frustrating. I have no patience now and just get angry and remove myself from the situation.

The normal MO is he cannot remember any of it in the morning and will apologise (weakly) when reminded. I haven't bothered reminding him this morning - so sick of it - he doesn't tend to do it when I have been drinking...I know that this isn't my drinking (and I can only control that) but it definitely plays a part in it.

Sorry! Name change fail! I used overwhelmingevidence to post in Stately Homes - outed myself there. Not that I think it matters...

I've forgotten to namechange more times than I care to think about Sung. Really pleased you got through the weekend with flying colours love a good steak myself. The situation with your dh starting an argument sounds tiresome although I have probably done the same in the past when I got some slight in my head after consuming alcohol I assume he is not considering stopping himself?

Treat tonight once I, finally after nearly two hours, got youngest asleep lay in bed with chocolate and magazines. Something I haven't done in a long time.

Half term over now here, back to the school routine in the morning. Hope everyone else had a great weekend too.

Oh thank god half term is over! DD 16 with SN has been "difficult" to cope with this week. School tomorrow :)

I love her a lot, but my word she is hard going to be around sometimes.

Sounds like a lot of kids sarah lovely to be around but hard going too.

Such a big change for me on a Sat night, I was chatting to a friend in the phone about how good a certain type of washing up liquid is .....this time last year I don't think I even used the stuff.

Over the weekend the house got a really good clean, although I think there may be an issue with DSs bed, he keeps getting bites, kind of like hives but close together. I'm thinking of taking his mattress out and burning it!!!! I'm really hoping it isn't fleas!!!

Hello. I wonder if I can join you? I have struggled with alcohol since my teens, when I thought it was the miraculous solution to my shyness and lack of self confidence.

Gradually and steadily my drinking increased over the years and became a shameful secret. I have hidden drinks, lied about being drunk, got smashed in front of my children and being drunk in charge of them.
I've always got up in the morning, functioned, did what I needed to do, worked and cared for my family. That said, I have wrecked and wasted many weekends, started hideous and cruel fights with my partner, mortified myself at family occasions, where I have alternated from the tipsy "life and soul of the party" to the tragic, embarrassing pisshead.

After a particularly awful incident due to drink on NY day I have been sober since. The shame and fear of how low I'd sunk really hit home and I've found sobriety pretty easy, surprisingly after a 20 year history of erratic and problematic drinking.

Now however I'm feeling a bit flat, slightly bored, anxious, wondering what now? I know I can't drink again, one drink always leads to another, moderation doesn't work for me and I don't think it ever well.

Just hoping to connect with other people who can relate to how I'm feeling.

Thanks for reading.

Welcome aboard California. I think I can tick off most of what you've said myself so definitely relatable. I stopped boxing day - nearly same time off it too What now, I'm really not sure yet. At the minute I'm probably spending too much time not concentrating on any one thing, flitting from one thing to the next rather disjointedly.

Bedbugs user?

I dare say quite a few parents were relieved at the start of school today Sarah

California, I'm sure many of us can relate to your story. I most certainly see parts of myself in you.

You've done amazingly well to get to this point, and initially it's a rush to say i'm sober and this is my life. Life does have a habit of creeping up on you though, and feeling somewhat 'what now?' about the future is perfectly normal. Remember why you stopped drinking and think about all the good things about today being alcohol free. It's very easy to forget the horror of being dependent on alcohol when you are some weeks down the line.

I've been dry 574 days today and that part of my brain still says 'one won't matter'. Except i know it will.

Good luck and KOKO.

Hello, may I join?

I have lurked on and off these threads, but am on Day 7 now.:) Longest I have ever been dry is 21 days.

Looking forward to a new, healthy and happy life.:)