DRY 17

[Loubilou09]

[This message is actually from Sober Sarah! She wanted this thread to start with links everyone will find useful. MNHQ]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting ebach other every step of the way. smile
We have put together some helpful info and links, to help you do this Smile tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

Tired of thinking about drinking, Belle's website filled with free stuff as well as subscription courses and an account of her four years sober.

joinclubsoda.co.uk/ Club Soda - to help you make the change you want.
www.sobersassylife.com Sober Sassy Life - A Selection of Articles, Blogs and Freebies to get you unstuck, and on the way to your Sober Sassy Life! Also has paid for courses.
thesoberschool.com/ - an online hub with the mission of inspiring and supporting women who are tired of feeling hungover

www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour - podcasts on a huge range of issues relating to addiction and recovery

www.smartrecovery.org.uk/ - an alternative to AA. Meetings nationwide and online.

Useful meditation or relaxation apps
www.headspace.com Headspace for calming the brain chatter
www.withandrewjohnson.com Andrew Johnson stop drinking app
Helpful blogs from people who are sober
sothisissober.com/ our own vxa's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lily's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lucy's blog
www.sobergrowing/blogspot.co.uk our own Sober Sarah's blog

All of these blogs contain links to loads of other brilliant blogs.

Sobriety counters
meetnomo.com/index.html
www.pilanites.com/streaks/

Hope this helps you ! Love Sober Sarah and Vxa

I have slipped up tonight. Really angry with myself.
Would have been 2 weeks sober.
I haven't had loads, 2 large glasses of white wine but it's enough to make me realise deep down i don't get anything from it other than guilt and a bit of a general gross feeling of having what feels like acid swilling around my stomach.

I was enjoying waking up feeling more refreshed with no grogginess (sp?) from drink. Tomorrow i will be right back where i started.

So pleased you guys are doing so so well, it really is inspiring. Keep going. Xx

It's a slip not a slide splurgle, use it as a learning experience. Was there any particular reasoning behind it? You didn't sound like you enjoyed therefore you now know you are missing nothing.

Well done Bali, I too took a photo at the start and look a damn sight healthier now.

On the subject of Headspace I find at times without that constant distraction of chatter in my head something can pop in that I haven't acknowledged has been bothering me.

7 weeks today/tomorrow first 50 days. Feels great to wake up yet another Sunday tired but at least not tired and hungover.

Morning everyone - pleased to report I've had my first sober weekend in a long long time, and feel much better for it.

splurgle don't be too hard on yourself. At least you restrained yourself - Sarah's advice upthread is good

vidorra congratulations on your 50 days !! That is amazing I'm well jel ha. Sorry to hear your having a rough time with the dreams - I'm having cbt for anxiety at th mo and my dreams have been terrible - either I'm behaving terribly in them and then anxious about it or they're about my abusive ex from 10 years ago! Hoping yours (and mine) settle down soon

bali well done to you too - sounds like you can see a noticeable difference with the emerging cheekbones! I'm going to take a selfie and monitor my progress

I know that my last video was to a nurse who was prescribing privately, but please look at this forum. Nobody make money out of it, it s just about spreading awareness of choices out there. Honestly, you can look me up on here, I'm not some evangelical crazy treatment seller- I just can't believe this is not better known- and it sounds like it can help so many people with different kinds of alcohol problems to not have to 'white knuckle' there way through trying not to drink. optionssavelives.freeforums.net/board/15/progress

If it works for the person Im close to, Ill let you know- as well as if it doesn't. I just think for so many of you here you should have a look.

Sorry I thought that I had posted this on brave babes, but it equally applies here. Have any of you heard of the sinclair method.
For the record, I am very sceptical about anything that sounds too easy. I dont believe in homeopathy or alternative treatments- I trust the need for empirical science and I have no reason to promote this. But it sounds like it needs to be better known about and has given me some tentative hope.

and i know I now look like I'm spamming, but I feel passionately that this needs to be known about (for those of you who are doing something that is already working for you then great- but for those who aren't, it may be worth looking at)
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/overcoming-addiction/201307/drink-your-way-sober-naltrexone

I may come back in a few months time and say actually it doesn't seem to work- but it is used widely in finland

Twisted this is a thread for those who are not drinking, or actively seeking to not drink. Not for those who want to moderate or who are still drinking. We had a long discussion a few threads back where the concensus was if someone is actually drinking we would prefer they didn't post as it could be triggery for the rest of us. Imo your links are not really appropriate for in here, although thank you for the kind thought.

Ok -sorry no wish to trigger anyone- just saw some people were struggling with abstinence and wanted to say if that's the case hope doesn't have to be lost- as this can apparently lead to abstinence. But apologies- the last thing I want to do is make anything that is working for people who have found a way of managing harder.

Twisted no worries! Its an interesting link, and what I posted about it was just my opinion based on the previous lengthy discussions we had, about all this. Its not my thread though, so if anyone feels differently that's something maybe we could discuss?
And thanks for understanding :)

Also (and I really am not trying to push anything) this is not about drinking in moderation really either- at least not through self control and willpower. But a way to stop you desperately craving so that you actually don't want to drink. I don't even know if it works yet! But I do know the pain of repeated feeling of failure. As it happens, I know for myself I cannot drink in moderation and when ive looked in the past at these threads I've known I can't be a 'normal' drinker and also haven't wanted to read about others drinking. But this really seems to be about something different. And I suppose I just wanted people to know what's out there if both abstinence and moderation both feel impossible. Absolutely not to knock abstinence, but to know there might be another way to help you get there. The main message from this treatment is that it's not your fault.

I became aware of it through a TED talk some time ago and have since seen it mentioned on posts in other forums. Interesting but wouldn't be for me thanks Twitch I agree with Sarah, I have no problem talking about moderation but other posters may find it difficult and we all have to respect that, especially given there is a completely separate thread for those wanting to moderate.

Well done for the first weekend sober yellow, always a trickier one. Ugh, anxiety is a bitch, I hope your anxiety and sleep gets better soon too I did CBT some years ago for bad anxiety and panic attacks and it worked really well alongside beta blockers. I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be but given some health issues atm it rears its ugly head every now and again.

twitch I am also in agreement with the posters above, I don't think that the Sinclair method is for here, I have heard if it but I ain't convinced of its success, as far as I am aware there have been no controlled trials.

I've heard of many things to stop people drinking, but I think that the only thing that can stop people from drinking is abstinence

Well that's my second weekend of sobriety done and I spent Friday and Saturday night in a bar (DJing not socialising) so I'm glad it's out the way. I'm not sleeping very well though so I'm a bit all over the place and I REALLY want a drink but I won't tonight and tomorrow is another day. More importantly it's a hangover free Monday and there hasn't been many of them for a few years

I want to say more but I'm tired so will be back soon, keep going everyone!

Finally, some solid hours of sleep! Regime of warm bath, no screens, regular bedtime, meditation and relaxation exercises beginning to work! Day 147 done and off to bed. Goodnight sober warriors xxx

Oh and posted that last night using my phone with a blue screen filter, just before lights out. Blue screen filters really do help!

Glad you had a good sleep sarah it makes a huge difference doesn't it. Nearly 150 days for you - exciting!

Thanks vidorra glad to hear cbt worked for you - I don't know anyone close who's tried it with success but I'm willing to try anything !

Another sober day with snooze and snore teas or whatever they're called to round the night off. Today's sober benefit is saving 150 calories per beer (and therefore saving me a 5k run to burn three of them off...)

Hi All, still posting and still alcohol free. I had to count up how many days and its 21 today!

Sleep is bliss, skin is the best it's been since my early 20s. I am actually pleasant and not so stressed out. I do get stressed easily but I just swear or shout but release it and not drink it away.

I just hope I can keep going. My kids have not said anything but I think they have noticed. Both are under 10 and I'm helping with homework and reading to the younger one. I kind of like the freedom of no more 'wine shop' visits.

Keep going everyone!

Morning all...

Feeling completely overwhelmed this week... and it's taken me rather by surprise. Not entirely where sure it's come from, but it's a horribly unpleasant feeling... Hopefully it will pass soon.

Work is completely manic, so that's not helping, and training hard for my ultra marathon at Easter so a little tired, but it feels like more than that somehow. Time to keep looking forward and believe it will pass...

Ran with a friend yesterday and was talking about my not drinking, and how apart from a couple of moments I haven't really craved it, not really struggled - I realise I am VERY lucky! I do have a bit of an 'all or nothing' mentality - so either drinking to crazy excess or not at all.... There's nothing in between... We talked about how I haven't sent any time limits on my current sobriety, that it's 'for now' and for me that's enough... She suggested it would be nice/progress for me to choose to have a wee glass of champagne after my race - felt a little sad, as I can celebrate the achievement in so many other ways... But not 'choosing' a glass of booze is seen as the odd choice... Actually I think it was her use of the word 'progress' that annoyed the most when giving up the booze is the biggest progress imaginable, even if society as a whole thinks that's odd..... if we were giving up cigarettes we'd be heroes, give up the booze and we're alcoholic oddballs....

There's always chocolate milk...

Sorry, very melancholy here this week...

Time for more coffee...

Hmm BG I think that would annoy me as well! Does your running friend drink a lot/ frequently? Is that her "drinking voice" talking to her, trying to get you to join back in with the drinking?
Regarding work, all I can suggest is try to do as little as possible in all other areas of your life as overwhelm is when lapses start to look desirable. Be kind to yourself and get as much rest as you can xxx

Day 150 :) :)

Hello everyone. Day one. I have decided to stop drinking. For the second time in a week DH has said he thinks it's a good idea because it induces horrible anxiety. Apart from the anxiety, it has made me, and is keeping me, a good stone and a half above a normal, healthy weight for my height. I want to do this for myself, but it helps that he is supporting me. In the past, it hasn't helped that he has continued to drink when I've been trying to stop, but he does his best, for example mainly sticking to beer, which doesn't trigger me, because I never drink it myself. I recognise that I need support and accountability and this thread looks brilliant for both.

Welcome Lollie you'll get all the support you want here, it's a special place, with some solid advice and solid support...

Sober I'm not sure where my friend was coming from, I think perhaps she was trying to reassure me somehow - I don't think any of this is within her sphere of experience, almost in a 'you can't have a problem with drink because you're just like me' sort of way... Although she did agree that I don't appear to have a 'you've had enough' trigger when drinking and go straight from seemingly OK to passed out with very little in the middle...

I guess it's a learning journey for us, and those around us...

Part of my whinging on here today is to vocalise how I am feeling and to help work it out... Sometimes it's just enough to say it out loud (or type it out loud so to speak)

Trained again this morning and seem to have gotten the best of the weather for the day - can go to work happy in the knowledge the sun was shining on me for a while today... And start the shift afresh and hope it's a quieter one (my optimism deserves a medal.....)

Onwards,

BG Medal winging its way over :) Yes a safe space to just say what's on your mind is one of the joys of in here.

Lollie welcome :) Have a read of the top post and look at some of the links, maybe? My DH drinks beer moderately and its not a trigger for me as I can't drink it anyway as I'm coeliac.

Day one - again, but first day on here. Hello .

I drink almost every night at the moment - probably drink 5/6 nights a week. DH drinks 7 nights a week and, I would say, is more alcohol dependent and more in denial. Drink between 6 pm and 9 pm usually. Can easily drink a bottle of wine, or equivalent, in a sitting and often it is more than that.

Taking a step back I would say the effects are a big dark cloud above our lives and making our lives smaller and smaller, in so many ways. We both come from dysfunctional families (in very different ways) and I definitely think that plays a part - drowning things out. DH thinks that because he never drinks during the day and only occasionally gets 'plastered' it is all ok. I disagree. I think we are creating our own dysfunctional family and a small and ultimately boring life.

I know I need to go first and I also know I need to NOT nag him at all. Just do it. Tonight we are having a family roast - normally that would mean we would definitely need wine with it. He will have wine - I will have water.

Hi Sung yes coming from dysfunctional backgrounds often means we don't learn to self soothe in an appropriate manner so when things happen, good or bad, we use maladaptive responses. Drink, drugs, self harm, other risky stuff. The trick, in my experience, is to replace the maladaptive stuff with good stuff, so give yourself lots of sober treats, self care, learn other ways of coping with stress etc . Headspace or other meditation is wonderful, exercise is popular! Finding something else to soothe and comfort and reward, rather than turn to drink. Its not just a displacement activity to distract us from drinking ( although in the early days that helps as well! ) . Its a new way of coping and eventually our brains get used to the different rewards on offer, rather than going straight to alcohol as the default.
Welcome :)