DRY 17

[Loubilou09]

[This message is actually from Sober Sarah! She wanted this thread to start with links everyone will find useful. MNHQ]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting ebach other every step of the way. smile
We have put together some helpful info and links, to help you do this Smile tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

Tired of thinking about drinking, Belle's website filled with free stuff as well as subscription courses and an account of her four years sober.

joinclubsoda.co.uk/ Club Soda - to help you make the change you want.
www.sobersassylife.com Sober Sassy Life - A Selection of Articles, Blogs and Freebies to get you unstuck, and on the way to your Sober Sassy Life! Also has paid for courses.
thesoberschool.com/ - an online hub with the mission of inspiring and supporting women who are tired of feeling hungover

www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour - podcasts on a huge range of issues relating to addiction and recovery

www.smartrecovery.org.uk/ - an alternative to AA. Meetings nationwide and online.

Useful meditation or relaxation apps
www.headspace.com Headspace for calming the brain chatter
www.withandrewjohnson.com Andrew Johnson stop drinking app
Helpful blogs from people who are sober
sothisissober.com/ our own vxa's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lily's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lucy's blog
www.sobergrowing/blogspot.co.uk our own Sober Sarah's blog

All of these blogs contain links to loads of other brilliant blogs.

Sobriety counters
meetnomo.com/index.html
www.pilanites.com/streaks/

Hope this helps you ! Love Sober Sarah and Vxa

Right- I think I have just caught up with the whole thread.

I was on the original DRY thread way back in 2014. Since then I thought I could do it my way, go it alone and / or moderate.

I have just gone further down down down into the spiral of alcohol use and abuse and I feel like i have been stuck the past 3 years- I have not progressed in my relationships; have not progressed in my career; I am just barely functioning. I've put on loads of weight. I am not present for my family.

I cannot stand it anymore.
I am committing myself to an alcohol-free life.
I am here.
I am committed.
I'd love to be a part of your thread. :)

Welcome Cacoa I've on and off since the original thread too, trying and failing to moderate interpersed with sober periods of varying degrees of success. Love your positivity and being back on the thread I'll stand committed with you.

And me :)

Thank you. :)

I've been a Brave Babe a couple of years back but quickly realised my problem is much more severe than the majority of posters over there who are looking to moderate. Being completely honest with myself and taking into account the numerous times I've tried to do that and failed, this seems the most appropriate place for me to be.

50 days today. I am thinking about alcohol more frequently than at the beginning. I really don't want to start minimising how bad I was, been there done that and it always leads me to an even darker place.

Anyway, today is almost done. In bed, safe and warm with a glass of water and a nice book to read.

Hope everyone is ok and having a calm and peaceful evening.

Cali, 50 days is brilliant, well done. I thought more about it last week too, the bad times get further away and the little addictive voice starts telling you it wasn't that bad, you can maybe handle it this time? I put my head down and ignored it and the last two days I feel stronger again.

I have now finally given up on the myth of moderation myself. Even if I do tenuously succeed at it for a time, my brain thinks what is the point in stopping at one or two, there's no 'fun' in it and I don't enjoy it.

I find biological science fascinating; whether it be a part of genetics, rewriting brain circuitry or neurological pathways and reward systems, learned behaviours or something else, I cannot just stop at one. There is absolutely no point in me fighting with myself any more over it and I feel slightly comforted by the fact there may be a biological reason why. Ok, I may have caused it but to me it's akin to having something else wrong with me health wise. I would try and look after myself and avoid any substances that would flare it up.

I have seen in my family the last two years the consequences of losing that fight with alcohol between deaths and 'for life' health issues, it's devastating.

Settled myself now, tucked up in bed with a book, chai tea, salted caramel chocolate and feeling serene.

50 days is amazing. :)

It's the little voices that make me go back to drinking too. I think 'You have eben do good.Look, you just did 11 days, you've got this licked. Just one won't hurt. ' I started January thinking I would alternate every day alcohol-free. It just meant I was leaping out of my skin every second day desperately waiting for the day to be over so I could start drinking the next day (lunchtime usually).

The brain space it all takes up. Exhausting.

The lack of mental chatter is the main thing that keeps me sober. I have so much more brain space to think and read and work and remember books and to study and actually enjoy life ...

Hi Cocoacoloa - I'm new here too, posting in here a week ago gave me stopped me putting it off for another day. Welcome!

Today is the first day I haven't really wanted to have a drink at 6 pm. I'm not in the most positive of moods though.

Got tears stinging my eyes over DH's drinking now (he is currently down the pub) and I got a text to get him more lager and tonic for gin whilst I was in the supermarket. Feel a mix of sad, overwhelmed and angry.
Is there a support thread for spouse's drinking? I feel like I have definitely got two separate drinking issues in my life - mine and his.

There is a fairly new one under health section, alcohol support Sung if that's any help to you, apologies can't link on phone. I have heard of al anon too IRL? I'm sorry you are going through this, haven't had to deal with this myself so no advice. You are being amazingly strong though and it is a really great positive

Love the lack of internal chatter myself. No bargaining, plotting and planning, feeling guilty, remorseful and anxious the next day.

Thank you Vidorra - for the thread finding and kind words

May I join you? I'm in need of some support from people going through a similar experience. My life seems to be revolving ever more around wine and there should be so much more to life that sitting at home drinking a bottle or more every night. Day 1 AF for me

Well done and welcome :)

welcome. and good morning everyone. :)

Hi desertstag

We went out for a meal last night - we usually walk into our smallish town (short walk) and go to one of four/five places which is getting a bit boring (we go 1-2 times/wk at the moment). There are loads of lovely village pubs that serve great food around us but we rarely go to because of transport - anyway, went to one last night. There was also the extra security of knowing I wouldn't be tempted by just one glass of wine (I won't even have one when driving).Lovely. Freedom!

Very aware that this is early days for me, and the real challenge still lies ahead. I've given up/significantly cut down on alcohol before but the longest stretches are driven by other reasons - like dieting, and even then its no longer than a couple of months.

We have similar with local pubs Sung. In my last major stretch of sobriety we started driving to other villages and sampling their pubs for Sunday lunch. That was a fabulous experience. I need to do that again. There is a terrific pub about 30 minutes from us that has a soft play inside it also... hmm...... [thinks out loud]

:)

Morning all.

Welcome desert and well done for taking the first step

Try not to think too far ahead Sung, it'll happen when it happens, not much point in worrying about it. All you can do is work on today and build the sober tools that work for you so if you are tempted in the future you know how to deal with it. Glad you had a nice night out.

So happy Doris has passed and there is finally sun outside! Sober bonus - my recycling bins tripped over in the wind and had no shame in having to chase the copious amount of sparkling water bottles down the street

Completed 60 days yesterday and two months a mere days away. The next month may be slightly more challenging as I've a birthday, anniversary and another traditional drinking day approaching but I'm feeling quietly confident about it so far.

Took your advice Sarah and have been reframing a lot of stuff in my head and it has been very helpful and really improved my mood. Things I would have seen as a chore before (meditating, taking a rest etc) I now look forward to as my time and something my body needs so thanks a lot

Glad it helps Vidorra :) It worked for me.

I had a lapse last night :( Went to a meeting about some work, at a hotel (other person had just run a workshop there) - asked if I wanted a drink, said ginger ale as no decaff tea or coffee available. Got given ginger beer which I drank and enjoyed but didn't know it had alcohol in until I saw the bottle, later
Offered another one. Chose to accept the next one :( My choice this time, not a mistake.
Came home and was so close to stopping for wine :( I didn't but a couple of ginger beers ( so not a huge amount of alcohol) set off all the cravings and desires to drink myself into oblivion, because I was stressed and upset and tired and hungry etc etc .
158 days yesterday.
Day 1 today. So cross with myself for thinking I would be ok in a hotel at 6 pm for a meeting! So cross that I said yes to the second drink :(

Oh no Sarah, you must be gutted but I think you are being too hard on yourself. There's a reason they say to stay away from the first drink, that's all you need to worry about as I know in my case after that one all bets are off. That wasn't your fault, in fact I think you've shown amazing restraint.

Thank you Vidorra :) I'm not beating myself up but I am going to reset to Day 1. If I'd stopped after the accidental one I wouldn't. But I chose to drink the second one, knowing it was alcoholic. Belle, who is my sober coach and mentor, is quite specific that any drink taken deliberately resets you. I signed up to her Sober Jump Start 100 days class knowing that and actually, given my history of sober months and months then a few day/week binges which were of horrific and cringe making proportions, it was one of the many attractions that I was so accountable to someone and that this is what would happen. So them's the rules and I'm sticking to them. :) I know I can do this though and will add yesterday to my list of " shit Wolfie pulls when you are vulnerable"
Not too miserable though as I have so many sober tools and tricks to help me get straight back onto sobriety :)

Fair play, I understand about wanting to be accountable to yourself too. Minor slip and not a slide, makes you aware how easy it is to do if nothing else. Onwards and upwards

Hugs sarah - you are really brave sharing this. As you say I think what happened is an important reminder and you have a sober tool box crammed with all sorts of useful stuff.

By sharing you have given me a bit of focus so thank you.

Sarah

You are an inspiration. xx

What is everyone doing this weekend? I am heading for London on Monday for work and have silly amounts of work to do to prepare. I am finding it all quite draining at the moment.

Quiet one for me Cocoa as I'm busy for the next three weekends. Take away and movie tonight, kids are wanting to make a mess cupcakes at some stage too. Tomorrow I'm cooking Sunday dinner for the rest of the family.