End of an affair

[Userr123]

Hi,
I am a happily married mom of 2, have been with H for 10 years.
6 months ago I started an affair with a work colleague, the connection between us has been incredible, we talk for hours each day, and have met up 4 times for sex, which has been amazing. I feel he could be my soul mate.
2 months into the affair I discovered his wife was pregnant, he already has a 1 year old. I was shocked, but we both agreed to stay together but would end it before his son was due in Feb.
Well that's now come, and we've put an end to it.
I am literally devastated.
He still wants to speak like before (on our commutes into work), but no more physical contact. But I know it will be too hard as I still want so much more.
I know it will be difficult as we do work together, however, not too closely.
Do I need to break off all contact?

Perhaps some of the posters on here should walk a mile in others shoes before they get so judgemental

Ivykaty44 OP is knowing messing with the lives of

pregnant woman
unborn child
1 year old
her DH

I wouldn't walk across the street for her. I couldn't give a shit re your little admonishment.

What does your husband want?
What does his wife want?

Quite probably not to be sharing their lives with pair of utter fuckwits like you two.

End your marriages and be together if its that good.

Well...on the off chance this isn't a joke tell your husband everything and see if he feels you have room for them both.

No judgement from here but yes you need to change your commute pattern and also to start looking for another job. The only way forward is no contact.

I've not been able to tell anyone, and am aware on paper it sounds terrible.

Not just on paper. You haven't told anyone as it knows you will sound like a complete shit is you speak this out loud.

You CAN tell peoole you just dont want people to know how badly you have behaved.

As for the poster saying 'walk a mile in her shoes'...why the fuck would i? Why i want to shag a man who married and his wife is pregnant. Why would shag someone behind my dhs back?

I dont need to walk her in her shoes to onow what she doing us shit. She isnt even feeling guilty and wants to carry on. Her and the OM are shits.

Your a disgrace your poor DC the GF and your husband get some self respect.

Time to put up or shut up. Either put your big girl pants on, recognise that you're being awful to your husband and family while sleeping with and pining after someone else, and do the right thing (leave!) or shut up, put it all behind you, cut contact with the man from work and put A LOT of work into your marriage and see if you can save it.

Or else take the nasty, horrible, selfish option of continuing contact with this slimy man, knowing that you'll throw yourself at him whenever he lets you. But know that you're second to his wife, he might make you feel important and wanted, but not enough for him to leave or go public with you...

What JellyWitch said.

Plus, (since I'm trying to get over my ex-OM too..) make a list of all his bad qualities. (Shouldn't be too difficult - start with him cheating on his pregnant wife) and whenever you think of him, think of the bad qualities. I'm not saying it will be easy, but thought I'd share in case it helps.

Wow op I can see why you're struggling to break it off with him. Only a really decent guy would stop his shagging around once his partner gives birth!!
Don't worry, soon he'll release she's too tired for sex and he'll be back for more!

OP, I'm disgusted at how selfish you are. You're a mother yourself. How cold you continue having sex with this man whilst his wife was pregnant?

Oh wow. Have you no shame? Every post you've written is so breathtakingly selfish. You don't even feel guilty do you?

You're behaving like a selfish twat in my opinion.

Some men don't want sex with their wife when she's pregnant so look elsewhere and then go back to the wife when she's given birth. not nice but it happens.

Mind you we don't know all sides. The man's wife's two children might be children of his wife's lover and not this man's children if she's taken a leaf out of his book. perhaps he should get a DNA test.

Have not read the full thread but you have woken me up Enormous.

How big are you exactly?

You know the right thing to do but you seem to make repeated bad bad choices. As a parent and a partner you are being very selfish and you need to take a hard look at what state your life is in and why you want to continue with him in these circumstances.

Horrible situation for everyone.

No judgement here though.

Go no contact with him and decide whether your marriage is worth working on or whether you need to walk away.

Being single is better than being unhappy in a relationship.

Why if you were/are happily married did you embark on an affair? I hope your husband finds out and kicks you out of the family home.

you two deserve each other, tell his wife and tell your husband, they deserve much better. I would not want to be sharing my husband with another woman.

OP, the viciousness in some of the posts here should give you an idea of how serious things will get if this all comes out.

The reason people get sooo angry and so personal about someone they've never met is that it brings up strong feelings in them because they've been hurt etc. So while I'd ignore all of the 'advice' ahem I think you'd be wise to be aware that this is what you may get IRL if this comes out.

You need to get away from this man. You know that.

If you really are for real (I'm not convinced), it's all going to come crashing down around you, and ha fucking ha.

I accept the message that I'm emotionally stunted. I do like being the centre of attention, and am very needy in that sense.
I also accept that I have a hell of a lot to lose.
Thanks for your messages. It's about time I had a reality check.

Get needy with your husband. There are children involved and two people that have no idea what's going on.work on your marriage or leave to go gallivanting and being needy with whomever you want.

Yes break off all contact now. In the rush of an affair you do often feel like soul mates I'm afraid. You're in the honeymoon stage and it's all very exciting after ten years in a marriage and DCs but it's completely wrong.

Change jobs and move on and work out why on earth you thought this was acceptable, if you're unhappy in your marriage talk to each other, if you don't really talk, start to reconnect and have nights out without the DCs etc.

But to be honest I really feel for your H, I almost wish he'd found out and started divorce proceedings. This isn't fair on him. Who was looking after the kids whilst you shagged? I'm imagining him putting them to bed whilst you got your rocks off but told him you were working late 😟

This other man won't leave her for you. He'll have his cake and eat it. You need a reality check here as you'll end up alone and seeing your kids on a shared co parenting basis at this rate. All for a few months of a sordid affair.

^^
That's just made me feel so sad and sick to think her husband was putting their children to bed whilst she was out having an affair, and what about the poor pregnant wife as well.. Thinking her husbands working late whilst she's pregnant and looking after their other child

You are selfish op. His wife is pregnant and you want to keep shagging him. He won't leave her for you it's all a lie. Get yourself some dignity and some self respect.

" It hurts my middle to even think about fucking about behind my husbands back, if I went there then something must be really wrong."

This. Exactly this.