Not sure how to feel , what would you think ?

[moonie70]

Invited my boyfriend over tonight and had a meal and watched tv , not seen him since sat night and he said he had been missing lots.
I was expecting he'd be looking forward to having a cuddle in bed , fall asleep together , I don't mean just sex , then he would go to work in the morning from my house .
I have a pre teenage daughter who was watching tv in my bed , and I said I'll just go up and tell her to go get ready and get in her own bed .
To which my bed said it's ok leave her I don't want to rock the boat let her stay in your bed I'll sleep in hers I'm up early anyway .
Well I've never felt so rejected I just said yeah ok if you want to.
We brushed our teeth he went in her bed and I went in mine .
I'm lay here thinking gang it's only been a few weeks , wouldn't you think we would be at the can't keep my hands of you stage not the sleep in separate room stage .
My daughter was baffled to and said why I'll get in my own bed.
In his last relationship he mentioned they slept in separate beds as they had drifted apart .
The back story is I've known him since we were kids growing up , mutual friends , family know each other , after his last relationship ended he was single for a few years and asked me out every few months for most of them years till I said yes.
I know he smokes weed on occasion and tonight I just felt he was done how detached and quiet not his usual self .
If this is a sign of things to come then I'm starting to think we're not compatable .
how would any of you feel in my position or am I over thinking this ?

But it's early days for this relationship despite the knowing him for 30years. So I still think the musical beds thing is odd. Or has he been staying at your house overnight for ages?

Say what you need to say on the thread, moonie

Several people are uncomfortable with the idea of your boyfriend sleeping in your daughter's bed. You might want to think about that.

It's not the set up for passion really is it.
I felt a bit weird reading it as I have girls and I think they would hate a man who isn't their brother/father/uncle sleeping in their bed as in: close relative but other people may not find this odd, I dunno.

Anyway back to the point, this isn't the honeymoon or dating or shagging stage when you have a kid at home, awake, midweek and you watch telly. It sounds like you been together 20 years! This stage tends to last a lot longer when you go out on dates and have wild child free nights etc.
To keep things alive and exciting this isn't the way to go about it. Domesticity isn't very sexy in a new relationship. But that's just my opinion... my Bf comes over (kids not home) and we make dinner listen to music and have sex but if my kids were home I wouldn't feel very sexy as they don't know him and it would be as tame as you describe

Ok saw your update. FGS woman your nearly teen shares your bed. Inviting Bf over when she is home is never going to lead to passion. Sorry

Moonie. Please don't listen to the judgemental "people" on here.
Think you are reading too much into this situation but you do need to chat to him. He has obviously had a bad experience in the past and might not be ready to sleep in a bed with a caring woman.
Chat and be patient.

Wow I'm done what a judgmental load of horrible women especially you Any fucker !!!

If someone invited me round to this scenario I would have gone home

Yeah. Be patient. This guy would rather have a toke and crash in the teenage girls bed. Totally worth waiting for innit.

Also totally ok to kick your 13yo out of your bed now mummy has a new man

OP perhaps in a few days you'all be able to think why a bunch of unconnected strangers are telling you the same thing.

I would feel deeply uncomfortable with a man other than my DD's father inviting himself to sleep in her bed. At best it's a huge invasion of your DDs privacy.

You asked us what we think, moonie. We told you what we think.

Anyfucker. Your username says it all. This woman has asked for advice, not for a bunch of keyboard bullies. Grow up.

At worst... I think you can guess the worst.

weird that he wants to sleep in your daughters bed, really really really weird.

Any fucker you are a horrible person , I've read your comments before on here , you need banning off here you just troll people

OP is PMing me having a go at me now haha

Who needs Piers Morgan to laugh at eh

Why didn't he just go home, rather than sleeping in your daughter's bed?

Feel free to report me, moonie.

And the majority of others on this thread.

Except for the bloke. He's totally on your wavelength.

I agree it's a bit odd. He may have been trying not to rock the boat with your dd. But why not sleep on the sofa?

Oh dear.

Moonie I think you need to calm down. You asked a question - it got answered.

Happy to be reported too. I blocked you from PM, but happy to answer anything on the thread.

I hope he didnt drive over if had been smoking weed.

I have reported your abusive private message, moonie

Lay off the abuse OP, Any Fucker and others have just said what I was going to type. Most odd to allow a relatively new boyfriend to sleep in your child's bed, no matter how long you've known him as a friend.

Maybe set some higher standards for your romantic life and have nights out when you have a sitter.

Hey moonie, I assume you are a single mum, me too, so I totally get her still sleeping in your bed a lot. My dd does that (she snores loud though for a kid )

Look I think the thing here is about the weed. I hate the effect it has on people so it would be a deal breaker for me. I think what you are saying is he probably has a smoke before he turned up and therefore was not very engaged and probably made the wrong decision about sleeping in her bed etc.

I think you probably need to talk to him about that and when he wants to do that perhaps not come and see you half stoned.