he is gone and I don't really know what to think

[colditz]

I have another thread about him being arrested for debt. Well, dp is now gone kaput not living here any more

I am overwhelmed already.

I suppose I should have posted in lone parents

I have so many things to do - have to get the bills switched and will probably lose broadband but I shall see what I can afford first.

We are amicable now we have agreed he has to live somewhere else. But he was crying last night and I feel bad. I know I shouldn't, he really has deserved this and beyond, but still. I never want to make anyone cry.

I need to grow a shell. I need to pack his stuff. I need to sort out,...crap. Ugh. Am both apathetic and fucking terrified.

Colditz, you were very supportive of me on another thread (I had namechanged so you won't know what I'm talking about!) and I wanted to thank you...

The first few weeks/ months are exhausting. But, as time passes you get used to it and as the DC get a bit older (even a few days makes such a difference when they are little) things get easier. It takes time to adjust to being a single mum. There are a million things to think of and to sort out which is hard enough at the best of times. Having a LO who wants a night feed (or 3 ) doesn't really help, does it?

Just know, you are not alone. It will get easier.

Promise.

How are you today Colditz?

The situation is as follows

He workes either lates or earlies

If on a late, he comes round for about 9.30 until he has to go to work. he either takes them out, or takes ds1 to playschool and takes ds2 with him, or I go out and leave him in the house.

If on a late, he picks ds1 up from playschool and brings him back to me. I cook for the children, then he puts one or the other to bed. Then when they are in bed, he goes home.

Now, I can cope with this, but I am worried about the messages it is sending to ds1. He is already unhealthily obsessed about 'Daddy's bed', and draws pics of it all the time, and draw pics of 'Mummy and Daddy holding hands' which he never has before.

My instinct is that the more3 they see of daddy, the less traumatic it will be, but am I wrong?

No. They need to see their dad and he needs to see them. It'll be ok.