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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Too much of a ladies'man?

34 replies

user1484840592 · 19/01/2017 16:37

I'm in desperate need of women's insight on a problem. I usually rely on my own judgment, but this problem is about my daughter and I'm afraid I might be biased...
So, my inexperienced young daughter is dating a much older guy. I've had no problem with the age issue as he seems nice and caring. Given the age difference they both kinda know they cannot be together forever, although he's been hinting that he would actually like to get married and stuff. At the same time, he seems to have an incredible amount of female friends, all of them single.
My DD did her best to ignore the fact that he sometimes visited an old friend - at her house- for a massage (and a bite to eat, since he's there). Or going over to his ex to help with some repair...What really bothers me is that lately he's been seeing another friend, who is supossedly going through a break-up and needs someone to talk to. They met at a coffee-shop, but obviously, my DD had a lot to say on this subject, but he insists he's just doing this as a friend. Well, he did admit that this other woman used to fancy him in the past and right now she is quite desperate to be in a relationship with someone.
What really ticked me off is that - being a good friend, he readily accepted to give this woman a ride, as she needed to do some shopping and the weather's been terrible and the poor girl needs some help. Once again, DD was visibly upset (and refused to tag along), but he simply ignored her and went to help this healthy young woman buy whatever...Might I mention that the desperate young female is due to start taking driving lessons with my girl's boyfriend?
I've been trying to warn my daughter that this is not ok and she understands that this woman is after her man, yet she chose to accept his point of view. What do I do? Should I insist on voicing my concern? Should I let her face the ugly truth when she's ready to do it? And, finally, do any of you believe that this whole story might me innocent? Are there guys that just want to be friendly and nothing more?

OP posts:
clumsyduck · 19/01/2017 18:08

Eeek another who thinks the gap is to big Infact it's not even the gap itself it her being only just an adult and him going into late 40s!!! To much of a power imbalance there

RockyBird · 19/01/2017 18:09

Is he rich? Is that why you don't mind?

clumsyduck · 19/01/2017 18:13

Reverse (?)
Op is the dp!?!?!

user1484840592 · 19/01/2017 19:27

Much as I hate to say this, one of the reasons my daughter is attracted to this older guy is the difficult relation with her father, who's been out of the picture for most of her life.
Someone asked if the guy was rich? No, not at all, so it's got nothing to do with money.

OP posts:
user1484840592 · 19/01/2017 19:27

Much as I hate to say this, one of the reasons my daughter is attracted to this older guy is the difficult relation with her father, who's been out of the picture for most of her life.
Someone asked if the guy was rich? No, not at all, so it's got nothing to do with money.

OP posts:
Barefootcontessa84 · 20/01/2017 09:23

Is the op the DD...?

hellsbellsmelons · 20/01/2017 13:35

he readily accepted to give this woman a ride
Oh yeah - in every sense of the word RIDE!

Expat38matt · 21/01/2017 09:14

You can't minimize the damage unfortunately- she has to work this one out for herself and it may take some time! Anything you say she'll defend until the penny drops for herself and then she'll need her mummy. Speaking from experience xoxo

Expat38matt · 21/01/2017 09:18

Oops seems I missed a few things assumed op was Mum and then saw the age difference!
I would be worried about that also however my advice still stands - the more u interfere the more you'll push her towards him.

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