Yesterday I decided to look at a small consolidation loan to clear my overdraft and the 1-2k on our credit card, thinking it would be lower than our surprisingly high minimum payment on the card and would get us back on track.
I went onto my husband's online credit card account, I've always had access to it, but he could never remember the password and would always check it while I wasn't there-obvious red flags I stupidly didn't see. What do you know, the cards almost at its limit! 7000 is on it! I haven't touched it apart from one lot of groceries early this month as we had literally no money.
I have been skipping meals to ensure our kids have enough, money has been so tight. We can't afford the heating to be on much so bundle the kids up. We don't get days out, treats, anything. I had to return to work much sooner than I felt able to as he 'couldn't' find work. But even my work that has been so stressful it makes me physically ill barely covered the basics.
Yet he's been spending thousands on shi for himself. He can't even tell me what it's on, looking at the statements I've managed to find, it's been frittered away on crap. We never even got each other birthday gifts as we couldn't afford to. But he happily bought for himself. I don't even begrudge him the odd treat, if we can manage it I never get funny about it, I accept being so rough financially is really stressful and the odd small splurge can help prevent the odd big one.
I don't know what to do, all the lies he told me. There's so many lies, I can't ever trust him again. I already sort all the bills and financnes and have worked hard to find a new job I'll be starting soon that has better pay and hours. I thought we were back on track. He is so caring and kind and sweet to our faces yet behind our backs he's done this!
I'm sorry this is such a ramble I'm so upsetand confused, I just need advice or someone to talk to. I've started doing the sums of living without him and we can probably manage, but I don't know what I want to do and what's best right now. It's too raw.