SAHMs - what do you get from your dps?

[puffling]

Thinking of giving up work to look after dd who's now 11 months. Have read SAHM thread to see if I should or should not be put off the idea.
DP and I have discussed how much he should give me. At the moment, we're saying he'll pay for all bills, car and food and he'll give me £300 a month. Obviously, I will end up paying for things from the chemist, her clothes etc.
Does all this sound reasonable? What arrangements do you have? If you don't mind me asking?

Meant to say £300 a month sounds quite reasonable.

Not SAHM as I work PT, but earn distinctly less than DH. However we just have one joint account and we both have full access to that.

SSD - 'she' is back. She's been watching telly and had no idea she'd get so many replies or cause any controversy.
We've been together a long time, me being the better paid for most of it. We've never had a joint account. However, I'm interested in what everyone's had to say and will bear it in mind. I'm not Victorian, it's just not something we've ever had to consider before.

Exactly the same as tortoiseSHELL, here.

Best way, IMO.

We have a joint account and I spend all the money . We do also have our own accounts. DH pays himself £50 pocket money and I get tax credits and child benefit so I can buy him a present with 'my money' and pay for mobile phone contract and a few other bits set up in my account.
We did a monthly budget though so I know my limits for food shopping etc. Works for us..usually.

No joint account, but it suits me fine.
First we sat down and talked about how we were going to do it. I live in Japan and here, the woman usually is given all of the mans wages and then gives him "pocket money", because sorting out bills, savings and everything else is womens work. I didnt want to do it this way- I couldnT be bothered with the financial responsibility (and my Japanese ain`t too hot anyway).

DH pays all bills, our car tax/insurance, our phones. Then there is a set amount left each month. We then set aside another amount for savings for our future house and rainy days. Then Im basically given the rest of the money, while DH keeps a bit for himself to get himself coffees and lunch or something. I use this for food, chemist and my and DDs personal things. I try to save a bit from this each month for myself.
If I go back to work (very) part time, its unquestioned that that would be my money to do with as I liked. DH would not expect to know where that money would go.

As I say, Im happy with this, because it means I know what Im spending each month, its kind of like a wage, because I see the household as a business.

DH's salary goes into his account each week and I leave enough in there to cover weekly expenses and then move the rest to another account where it isn't so easy to access it
I manage all the househould finances (dh doesn't even know the password for his internet banking ) and he is happy for this to continue as long as there is a little left in his account for beer and golf.
Did take us a long time to adjust to living off one salary, after having had 2 for so long. This is the main reason why I move the bulk of our money that isn't immediately needed each week, into another account, so I know there is enough to pay for car and house insurance, school fees and car registration annually when the bills come in.
We've also had a joint account since we got together, but the main reason for that was to help dh's visa application when we finally got around to doing it (about 5yrs after opening the account )
I don't think 'housekeeping' money is all that Victorian, just a different name for it really. Really just comes down to who is paying the bulk of the bills and who allocates what is left, doesn't matter what you call it.

whats with the inverted comma's puffling?

would you rather I called you she/he/it?

strange

No arrangements, he earns it, I spend it

Well, am am a SAHM, but I get nothing from my partner.

please stop baying for blood, everyone, it's not how it sounds....

The Tax credits are paid directly into my account, as it the child benefit. His wages go into his account. He pays certain bills, I pay others, and it stays more or less fair.

We don't have a joint account because he would bankrupt us.

I agree with the other posters. The only way this can work as a true partner ship is for everything to be shared. One account for both of you.

I have to disagree with having to have a joint account, we don't and it works fine. It's not like we are hiding anything, we both know where the bank statements are kept, it's just easier this way.

The problem with this question is every household has different ways of working things, so it doesn't really matter what everyone else is doing, you have to do what you are happy with.

In other words, I agree with Lockets

dh transfers a set amount into my current account each month to cover bills plus a bit extra for me, we also have a joint credit card, and if i want any extra i just do an online transfer from his account to mine,he pays for all big purchases/holidays he did ask if i wanted to just do a joint account but TBH i prefer having my own money, if we joint accounted i'd feel like i'd be having to account for what i spend/him too. What money there is, is equally ours,he's never said i can't buy something (its usually me reining him in !! i don't feel i'm being given a wage.

We don't have a joint account, DP transfers money into my account. I also know all passwords etc and transfer myself. It's not a set amount each week/month its just whatever I need.
I also have a credit card that I use and DP pays that. I tend to shop online a lot and I help myself to DP's cards and spend away!
Maybe it would be easier to have a joint account we've just never thought about it, my SMP has only just ceased so money for me hasn't been an issue for long.

in other words i agree with chirpy girl

and agree with colditz/lockets and usandnosleep !!

But hey whatever works for you !

Wow. This illustrates why women shouldn't give up work unless they want to be paid chattels who are given £300 a month for nanny services! You'd get more per week hiring out your services as a live in nanny with food provided.

agree its what works for you as a couple and as long as you're both happy then there's no problem.

For the record, we have a joint account - have done since we got married (and pretty much before that) and I couldn't deal with not having one and having to be given money. I manage everything as dh works v. long hours so have to be able to pay all the bills/buy everything so it wouldn't really work otherwise. We don't get tax credits so I would only have family allowance and the 50p a month profit I get from doing phoenix cards () and DH would have far too much to spend which he doesn't have time for .

This works for us but would appreciate it doesn't work for all.

and Xenia, FWIW, I don't think it illustrates that at all. I think it shows that couples can decide for themselves what works for them and lead their lives as they wish and not conform to any sort of expectation of how other people think things should be done.