If you were single from mid 30's until you die...

[sugarlost]

Not your choice but you just did not meet the one and gave up on dating..how would you feel and what would you do?

Lurking your words about marrying 'late' lol is exactly what I feel would be right for me and because of all the reasons you stated. I always said if I did not have children I would be happy finding my soulmate to share my life with and your phrase about facing a new direction in your life is the way to go ;).

I was single from 30 until about 46 when it got serious with now DH. I had 2 DCs who were teens when I met him. Married again at 51.

Love DH with every cell in my body but also loved being single. I do miss being on my own.

I'd get immersed in the community. Spend my time being part of different groups, volunteering, trustee, foster carer, local councillor, church, so many different things I would do if. All things I used to do/ thought about doing.
I would also try and play a big part in family life of relatives /friends. My children have a wonderful bonus Aunty/godmother who they adore. She gets the best of both worlds I some ways, weekends of baking and trips out with mine and then a return to her own life.

(Obviously love DP and the kids. But I don't think life would be colourless had they never come jnto it. But it might have take more effort to "get out there")

Unfortunately I think the longer you are single, the harder it is to have a relationship. I've had 3 'relationships' in the last 18 months....basically some dates, then some sex and some more dates. Nothing progressed as I'm happy on my own so not willing to take any shit. Maybe others are the same? I'm happy like it. Whether I will be when I'm 70 though???

But there is no way I will still be here in 10 years time if there hasn't been some change in personal circumstances

That is how I feel too.

I'd feel fine about it, but I'm not a particularly coupley person. What I'd do/ have done:

Make sure I was paying sufficient into a pension to ensure I had a good quality of life when retired. Being single is more expensive but equally as a single person you can prioritise where your money goes.

Make sure I had a will and it was up-to-date. If you die intestate with a spouse and children your assets go to them but without they go to parents, if still alive, then siblings, then various other family members who you might or might not want to inherit, so it's best to sort it out.

Take advantage of the flexibility of being single, so take opportunities in work and life, move around and try different things. Take a career break if money and retirement planning allow. Go back into education.

Write a novel, or at least try.

That's my take on it, anyway. I see being single as an opportunity to please myself and perhaps not get tied into the treadmill of modern life, which doesn't seem to make many people happy, but they have to stick at it because they have responsibilities which they have to honour.

I think that really you would like to find a partner and you are too young to give up. I would try dating again, give it your all for a year, but with a clear set of parameters and work on developing a tough skin. there are a few good threads on here about do's and don't of OLD. And watch this........

I got divorced at 29. In my early 40s now. Very happy to spend another 40-50 years like this!

Have a friend like this. She has never wanted children, had a few very long-term relationships until she was 30ish then for some reason after that, just nothing. Did some online dating, met a bunch of arses, then the longer she stayed single the more independent she became and gradually realised she was very happy on her own. She has a ridiculously full life - travels the world, volunteers, sees friends all the time, runs marathons, has a lovely house that she is always doing things to, and she honestly cannot imagine how someone else would fit into that after all this time. Her only responsibilities are to herself and she is very very content.

I've tried OLD, the rejection after rejection has just eaten away my self esteem, I don't think I could date now however much I want to, I feel too worthless.

People have mentioned having free time to do the things that they enjoy it have dreamed of, it gets expensive booking holidays alone, single supplement or same cost for a room for one as for two.

I wanted to foster but they made it very clear they prefer couples, also if be expected to quit my job so I was always available for a child (understand this) but they couldn't guarantee if always have a child with me.

Spending more time with friends isn't an option, they have their own lives and families, they only have limited time. Things like how Christmas will be in a few years when my parents have gone and I have no one to spends it with as friends all have their own families and wouldn't want intruders worries me because I can't see any way to not spend it alone.

I'm 34 never married and never had a long term relationship and I have accepted I'm never going to meet anyone. I've had 2 short term relationships but since then been single 7 years. I find being gay too is much much harder to find someone. I have tried online dating both paid sites and pof and both have been an utterly waste of time. I don't enjoy dating so I don't do it anymore but it would be nice to meet someone. I think Internet dating has had its day.

Rosabug, that sounds like good advice to ''give it a year'' but for me the first year was all lessons learnt. I need to give it another year now!

shefeeds I sometimes think how I will carry on with life when a certain person in my life dies...I don't know... I guess I'm worried about being alone with no unconditional love from that person. I'm trying to focus on the positives and build my strength...I hope time will put me in a good place in 10 years and I wish the same for you.

Rosa thanks for the clip!

Late fingers crossed for your plan...you have a good outlook.

Love the idea about the novel too...have often thought about that!

Zaa & user OLD has a lot to answer for...I have to laugh at the liars and cheats..well my experience anyway. There are some good singles on there...I just havent met my match and to be honest I get so nervous for the first meeting...the fear of rejection. There is so much choice..I feel like I'm in a competition and the good guys who I'd be attracted too don't pick me.
Future Christmas' I've thought about too...