If you were single from mid 30's until you die...

[sugarlost]

Not your choice but you just did not meet the one and gave up on dating..how would you feel and what would you do?

I second that harvestmoon.
I was single patent for 6 years. Pros and cons for being single or in a relationship.

Grass is always greener on the other side and all that.
Being in a relationship can still be lonely but without the freedom

Parent . Not patent

Check8ng in to say never settle! Mid 40s single since my mid 30s. Looking for somebody and not giving up. Looking is mostly fun so why stop.

Settling means different things to different people though. I want a brilliant relationship. Not going to reject that if the man is 5'7. But not into older men at all.
So one person's settling is another woman's high bar!

It is hard. I hate my DH. No really I do. On a daily basis. But when he is not here I find it hard to find the rhythm of my life.

But I lived alone for many years in harmony with myself.

Loving your vibes Bombshell!

Exit everyone's journey is different...the heart is so complex..I hope you find peace and happiness.

One guy asked me if I lived alone and owned my own home through OLD..we exchanged a few messages and had not met..I had thoughts of him planning to kill me after faking true romance ok maybe far fetched...there was an awful story of an author being killed by her fiancé for her millions in the news recently.I'm not rich by any means but it made me rethink the OLD world...what are people after? He advised he gambled too..what a catch!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-38567852

Link for author murdered by fiancé

I'm happy at the moment 😏

Is she the poor woman in the septic tank? Grim.

So hopefully 2017 is our year smile

I hope so too! Fingers crossed for both of us. Are you actively looking for someone? I was but decided just before Xmas to stop looking and just get on with living. I was fed up of getting my hopes up about someone time and time again for it to lead nowhere.

Not going to reject that if the man is 5'7.

Tom Hardy is 5'7. 'Nuff said

I've been separated from exh for at least ten years now and apart from a couple of first dates I haven't been in a relationship.

I do have a child but I am really not fussed.

Exit that is the poor woman...he was also drugging her and she was googling her symptoms. She was also looking for wedding venues before her death...so sad.

One...bring it on! I'm not actively looking...spring/summer will be my time to shine ;). Tom Hardy...stop that ...I'd share with you lol

It's funny someone mentioned that when your in a good relationship you feel alive...it was in the Undatable's. It got me thinking...most days I'm going through the motions but aren't we all? I want to feel the passion of a loving relationship...I want to feel alive again..I miss that.
I always thought I'd settle down and be content with a partner...there is still time that it could happen...it just seems so out of reach at times. I watch other couples and feel invisible at times buts it's ok...I will survive like Gloria Gaynor ;)

Tom Hardy...stop that ...I'd share with you lol

Tom is not for sharing

The thought of being alone as we think of old age is scary. The love in the Disney film up. But I have come to realise that so many people in steady relationships or marriages are still just going through the motions. Yes, lots are genuinely happy. Some are lonely. Some are just there through fear of being alone or habit. The 'happy' couples you see or that are posted all over Facebook aren't always what they seem. So many are still trapped wanting to escape, maybe a positive way to think of it is that you are a step ahead of them. You have no trash to rid yourself of 30's is still young. Live your life but still remain open and who knows.

One...I just want a taste of Tom...I'm not greedy!
That gets me thinking of who else I'd like to taste..on that note...I'm off to bed lol
Night all
X
PS Are most of you confident in all areas of your life? If no what holds you back? Do you think this lack of confidence impacts on the choices you make regarding relationships or lack of relationships?

Wise words Anxious!
Social media has a lot to answer for....good and bad!

Are most of you confident in all areas of your life?

No! Definitely not.

If no what holds you back?

Wish I knew!

Do you think this lack of confidence impacts on the choices you make regarding relationships or lack of relationships?

Yep. I think I'm so terrified of choosing the wrong person I just don't give anyone a chance.

I'm fast approaching mid-forties. Single for over 11 years with no likelihood of that changing any time soon. Not happy about it, sometimes very angry, but have felt calmer recently. I travel, do a lot of things on my own, see friends. I have a lover who I see about once a month.

It could be worse. Sometimes the freedom is great, but sometimes the solitude is pretty miserable.

If I'm still single in old age and my health / quality of life deteriorates more than I can put up with, I won't hesitate to take matters into my own hands.

how would you feel and what would you do?

I'm very definitely middle aged (assuming I live to over 100 ) and this is me. It's also a few of my friends.

I feel okay about it, went through a very wobbly phase in my 40s and I still get a bit lonely sometimes but it's a million times better than a shit relationship. I see some of the problems on here and thank God I'm not going through that. However I would never say never if the right one turned up. (Don't fancy Tom Hardy though, just don't get that. ) I also think I would need a fair amount of independence now, it's been too long and I am pretty sure someone around all the time would drive me up the wall.

As for what do I do, well I do whatever the fuck I like since I never have to even think of consulting an OH. I travel either alone or with friends or family, go to the theatre, dinner, museums with friends etc. I still work full time so I never have enough time to do things.

At the age of 50 as I am now I could be quite happy living out my days single. The freedom to do what I want when I want would be amazing. I like the idea of the peace it would bring.

Reality is I am a single parent run ragged and having had my dc late in life I will be well into my 60s before I can do anything I want to do by which time I won't have the energy to do it.

I do enjoy cultural things, the cinema, theatre, reading, socialising so I could fill my life with all that.

I think there are many advantages to being single and childless, I honestly do.

I do miss the intimacy of not being in a relationship though. Also you mention the passion you can feel for someone but how many times in my life have I had that? Only two or three times I think and not in my long term relationships or marriage. The feelings were only for unavailable men so added complications and I daresay if I had had a normal steady live in relationship with them then the feelings would not have been there anyway.

God the thought of living with a man again, no thanks, the compromises, the drudgery, the boredom, sharing the same space, I couldn't do it. But I did want it in my 30s.

When I look around at friends, the ones with the happiest fullest lives are those who are married with no children.

Hi OP
I'm not single now, I'm happily married, but I didn't meet DH until I was in my mid 30s so we were a 'late' couple. We could not have children.

I'm responding because when not having kids has been mentioned on here it is often met with howls of 'but you'll never be complete' and the 'but it's the most important part of being human' etc.

What's been interesting about reading the above is that there seems to be much less on here about HAVING to have a relationship but I think society in general expects is to couple up and we all feel that. Just as we are expected to have kids.

You never know, you might meet THe One or you might not but you have more options now to do loads of brilliant things than you would have done alone than probably at any other point in history.

Just like we have adjusted our plans to live without kids (and I'm not actively excited about the opportunities I / we will now have) you should make the most of it. You never know what will happen.

We are only here once and we get what we get. Some get it all, some not so much. It's what we do with what we get that counts. And live comes in so many different forms. You won't have to live without love if you done want to, whatever happens.

I am a bloke (45) and will almost certainly be single until I die. I have done relationships in the past and been married and to be honest found them stifling. I don't want to be answering to someone else and doing things I don't want to do. I love being able to do exactly what I want when I want and the freedom being single gives me is very liberating. I am never lonely. I have good friends who I see weekly, an elder son who I see regularly, work colleagues and a dog.

I like female company and like to go on dates and find out about people but I don't want a long term relationship and this puts women off me. Most I find are still searching for that dream relationship and therefore me, who would be happy meeting up for dinner or theatre or cinema etc once a week at most is not the man they are looking for. A lot have tried to mould me into what they are looking for but it doesn't happen and that is usually that. I am honest with them though at the start.

It's London for me this weekend. Get on a train, have a wonder around the markets, the museums, along the river and then head home. Sunday will be spent with friends in the pub. What's not to like?

I think some people (both men & woman) become undateable as they hit 40. They might be single but, they're not emotionally avaliable & sometimes don't realise.