Laura Doyle -the surrendered wife

[personalisedmummy]

I'm just wondering if anyone has read any of her books or blogs? And if you have practiced any of the principles

Ok, I'll bite. I am bored and Ofred offered cake AND wine..
what the hell is a surrendered wife. One that's given up ? 😏

Apologies OFFRED (with two r's) - I forgot the flowers ..

I bought the book but haven't read it yet

Do a search on the threads. There has been a few on this topic. Personally I think it's bollocks.

Popcorn?

She relinquishes the financial decisions
.. nah fuck that

It should be unwritten.

Yes, OP. It makes perfect sense to surrender to gender norms. After all, if you can't beat'em, join'em, right? And if patriarchy insists that women are there to be subservient helpmeets and sex providers to their male protector, well, we might as well make ourselves feel better about being royally screwed over by society, by pretending that it's our idea to go along with it.

sounds terrible from what i have seen

Ok, so I will bite with a proper response. Yasmine Alibhai-Brown has the following to say prior to stating she has become an advocate of it because it has worked wonders in her relationship; "The book claims to be a step-by-step guide to finding peace with a man, essentially by giving him more control. You do this by making yourself pleasing in every way you can, never reading his mind or baiting or provoking him, letting him solve your problems, never showing him you are better than he is at doing things essentially a sweet wee wifie like those stereotyped images from the 1950s."

My opinion is if you are with a man like this then FUCK HIM... if you really want to debase yourself in this way in order to keep a clearly shitty and insignificant man then you get on with it, it is not for me.

I want a relationship of equals not one where I am expected to make myself lesser so an inadequate man can feel better about himself and stop causing shit in our relationship. I have no doubt that following this will result in less conflict and a smoother relationship but only if you prioritise an inadequate man over the greatness of yourself and I am not prepared to do that.

There are, after all, worse things than being single.

Oh and I will also leave this linky here in order to suggest that actually all the people who advocate this book and it's methods have low opinions/expectations of men. I have high expectations of men, well higher than this tripe which basically plays them as insecure little wankers who have to have control of everything to feel 'like a man':

Good marriages are a partnership, not some sort of war where one party might need to 'surrender' to the other.

Good men wouldn't accept anything less than a woman who is their equal.

I wouldn't last five minutes.

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown said that? I am astonished. Where?

I've got the book and a fair bit makes sense.

Practiced the not moaning and appreciation elements.

I've read it.

Kind of hilarious, kind of horrifying.

Definitely not for me. Or any other woman with self esteem and a brain.

You surrender when you are under siege. Not in a marriage FFS.

Looks like fearsome shite. Partnerships should be equal.

I particularly love this: She relies on him to handle household finances

WTF

Could someone explain why "not moaning" and "appreciation" are seen as something pertaining to surrendering wives rather than being simply how equal and decent partners behave to one another? Why surrendered wives rather than surrendered husbands?

Are we saying that men never moan so they don't need to surrender? Or that men are allowed to moan so they don't need to surrender? Or that it doesn't matter what men do, because women are the ones responsible for the smooth running of any relationship?

I have read one of her books
I felt she was spooning way too much sugar on what was essentially a pile of shit
on principle, I have not practiced any of her principles

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/yasmin-alibhai-brown/yasmin-alibhai-brown-how-i-became-a-surrendered-wife-5364496.html%3Famp?client=safari