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Relationships

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I am evil

94 replies

RainbowCrash4321 · 29/12/2016 17:01

I'm watching my daughter and partner playing together and it's so beautiful. I've been cheating on him for nearly two years.

OP posts:
user1471453601 · 29/12/2016 19:39

You are not evil, please stop thinking that.

What you are is someone who feels so entitled, that hurting your child is ok with you, as long as you get yours.

Do as I did. I realised I wasn't built to be monogamous. So I only had relationships where that was understood. And DD was never
,ever involved.. It's not difficult?

Evil, get over yourself

Brazenhussy0 · 29/12/2016 19:40

Assuming you’re not a troll… I’m actually a bit concerned about your motives for posting this.

It’s almost as if you’re goading us all into telling you what a terrible person you are. You want us to beat you with the proverbial stick.

Why are you filled with so much self-loathing?
(I suspect this is why you're enjoying the cheating; you feel you don't deserve anything good so you're actively sabotaging the good things in your life?)

Please seek proper help for yourself.

randomeragain · 29/12/2016 19:43

are you the same person who is posting on the other thread? The one which appears genuine about a relationship which is over?
confused

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 29/12/2016 19:43

Two choices, really...

  1. Stop being a cheat.
  1. Leave him.

Simple as that, really.

Potnoodleforbrains · 29/12/2016 19:50

Oh please tell me another . I'm not tired yet ........

RainbowCrash4321 · 29/12/2016 20:15

I do feel close to the edge. Up until two years ago I always thought of myself as - or at least trying to be - a good person. I need to hear your reactions and anger, and I need a huge kick. I am incredibly selfish, and asking for your responses on here is also self indulgent.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 29/12/2016 20:17

Yawwwn Hmm

Just see how smug you sound and how much you are " enjoying it " when you rip apart your partner and child's life

Not sure what you're wanting out of this thread?

Badcat666 · 29/12/2016 20:19

Ahhh OP wants a spanking?

Bored now...

SparklyMagpie · 29/12/2016 20:20

OK then just read your reply.

How can you even enjoy sleeping with a guy knowing you will destroy your family?!

HOW can you enjoy knowing that?

And all for a shag !

I'm sure you'll feel guilty when you see how heartbroken your child is, considering you couldn't do the right thing and end it with your DP before

GutInstinct · 29/12/2016 20:27

After two years there is no "just stop." After two years there are likely emotions involved as wel as the destructive need for sex. and after two years you can't just expect to stop and go back to your relationship without telling him anything. At some point the truth will come out, either because you can't live with it any more, or because you find yourself back in a position where you are drawn to someone else. If this affair doesn't get found out then the next one will or the one after that.

And if you keep this a secret it will make it so much easier to have an affair next time, because you got away with it this time.

Your relationship with your partner is over. He doesn't know it yet, but even if you were to come clean, it can never be the same again.

You need to look at why you've felt the need to carry on an affair for two years. Where do you see this going? Do you want to be with him? Want to leave your partner for him? Introduce him to your child? And if not, why not?

And bear in mind that even if you leave the marriage, the legacy of the affair will never go away. You may find a new relationship, and you may never be able to envisage cheating on that partner, and when you hear about people who do cheat you will realise that you were that person once. Having an affair doesn't just go away, you may move on from it but it will stay with you if you are inherently a decent person. You don't just betray and hurt people like that and just get to move forward with your own life, not even if you bitterly regret your actions.

You can move on from this, end the affair and end your relationship with your partner, and sort your life out before embarking on any more relationships. But first you need to ask yourself why it is you are in such a self destruct.

RainbowCrash4321 · 29/12/2016 20:36

That is a very helpful post gutinstinct. I agree that my betrayal will stay with me forever. My partner has the right to know and I should leave. Perhaps I'm just not capable of being in a relationship - or as an earlier post suggested - not in a monogamous relationship. I definitely need to be away from the people who's lives I am destroying.

OP posts:
RacoonBandit · 29/12/2016 20:41

Enough with the poor me stuff OP. Hmm

Yes you are doing a bad hurtful thing but you and only you can put a stop to it.
My sympathy is reserved for your DP and DD.
Take control and sort your life out.

GutInstinct · 29/12/2016 20:44

It's not that simple though is it? It may be that you are capable of being in a monogamous relationship, just not this particular one, for instance.

How did this affair start? Is it just sex or is there more to it? Does he know you're in a relationship? That you have a child? Are you still having sex with your partner as well as with the OM? Bear in mind that when you have an affair you are actually betraying everyone, even the person you're cheating with, because you're not going to be telling him that you had sex with your partner last night/week/month are you? And even if you haven't sold him the "we're in a sexless relationship" line, there's often an unspoken belief, or denial at the very least, that the affair partner is the only one you're having sex with, when actually that is usually quite far from the truth.

And what about the OM? Is he married? Does he have children? Are you helping deceive his partner as well?

And do you want him or is he just a stopgap? In which case, what would end this affair for you? Or more to the point, what makes you continue with it?

BastardGoDarkly · 29/12/2016 20:45

How old is your daughter?

CalleighDoodle · 29/12/2016 20:50

Just leave you partner. Stop being so dramatic.

Shockers · 29/12/2016 20:53

What you need to do is think about how you can go about managing the least horrible way of ripping your daughter's life apart.

Because that's what you'll do.

Do you love your partner? If the answer is yes, you need to sort yourself out and stop dicking about.

mydietstartsmonday · 29/12/2016 20:54

You need to either stop or walk away.
If you carry on you will be caught out at some point.

Shockers · 29/12/2016 20:56

"I'm not capable..."

You're as capable as you allow yourself to be.

That's just a lazy way of saying you enjoy shagging around.

GlobalTechIndustries · 29/12/2016 20:56

What were the reasons that began your affair ?

AMillionMilesFromThere · 29/12/2016 20:59

I think you're evil.

HTH

Iflyaway · 29/12/2016 21:00

Cheats are awful.

Just say you want out. Be authentic to yourself. You owe it to the most important people in your life.

Would you like him to do that to you. MN comes down like a ton of bricks on those kind of posts.

What role model do you want to show your daughter?

Had a friend who had an affair for years as a single mum. Awful. Told her she was giving her daughter a dreadful example of a relationship and not how you should lead as an example. Yuck.

He had a wife and child and she got pregnant again too. What a creep. We fell out cos I mistakenly talked about it with a friend of hers who I thought knew too.
She blamed me of course for exposing her secret. WTF! ODFOD!

Funny how both mother and daughter are both being kind of skirted around now by everyone. Daughter drunk and throwing up at parties. Only 23. So sad.

Lonelyatxmas · 29/12/2016 21:03

What are you cheating though OP? D you love your DH? Do you still have sex?

rainbowstardrops · 29/12/2016 21:09
myoriginal3 · 29/12/2016 21:10

This is a man.

klassy · 29/12/2016 21:12

Good to see this was just a self-indulgent moan.

So why is everyone assuming it's a woman posting?

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