Dh leaving porn on phone that doc use

[Ihatethedailymail1]

I am really upset and disgusted that he has done this. Our dc regularly play on his phone and I am blue in the face asking him to put some child controls on it as I want to make sure they are not seeing anything inappropriate . They do not use my phone at all. He uses his as a babysitter so he can have peace if he is meant to be looking after them.

Today I picked up his phone after my ds5 was playing minecraft in dhs phone as I have recently downloaded Norton Family which is safer to use and I wanted to install it on his phone. I click on safari, and there is a sex video from Vimeo, of a naked woman. I didn't click on the video but it's porn. I took it to dh and asked him what was it. After him taking the phone and huffing and puffing saying I don't know how it got there it must be a pop up etc, I went ballistic and crying and said I don't care if you are looking at porn, I just want to know if you put it there or has my son found it and looked at it? He lied for a bit and then admitted it was him , like I didn't know that. I have gone mad at him saying it was one click away. I literally clicked on safari and then there is was, legs spread.
I am so angry that he was just, yeah, it won't happen again etc. So apology or sorry, or feeling terrible what his young doc might have seen. I still don't know if they have seen it as I don't know what to ask them. What question do I ask?
He is now blaming it on me as we haven't had sex for a long time as we have gone through a very bad patch, our marriage is very difficult anyway, but where do I go from here. My ds gets into bed with him every morning (separate room due to snoring) and gets his phone. How do I know he won't have been looking at something and my 5 year old then sees it? I am really upset.

[Adora10]

Tell them they can't have dad's phone because there's too much adult content on it! Do you not think he should be telling them or is he still in a huff with you, jeezo.

[Ihatethedailymail1]

I believe he has told them that today. I did ask him to show me that he has put an app on that disables most of the phone but he hasn't done that yet.

[Adora10]

OP, I don't really understand why you are finding it difficult to just ensure they never get their hands on his phone, you know he can't be trusted to do that, so what if you look like a baddie for half an hour, I'd rather that than have traumatised children.

[Ihatethedailymail1]

I am making sure. They have it had it today and I have just had to explain to them both in tears that daddy has something on his phone that it would not be nice for them to see and they both cried and called me meanie. I obviously am not giving in and they will not have it again until I am sure that it is safe.
It just grates that I am called meanie .

[Adora10]

and I am blue in the face asking him to put some child controls on it as I want to make sure they are not seeing anything inappropriate

Please don't risk it again, you know he's totally irresponsible, I'd guess they've seen stuff already OP.

Looks like it's down to you once again to do the parenting.

[SingingSeal]

Look, you really don't need to explain that there is adult content on a phone to children. Or some "bad stuff" that you don't want them to see! I mean thats just scary in itself, for goodness sake!

Just say no, Daddy's phone breaks easily and he might lose some important work information. And leave it at that!

He, however, needs to comply with this, as well as putting locks on his phone or whatever is necessary. Somebody needs to be the adult in this family!

Regardless, I'd find it creepy being with a man who needed to carry round porn on his phone. I'm just so bloody glad I'm single if this is what passes for manhood and fatherhood out there.

[AnyFucker]

Why does he even need to "save" porn on his phone?. He does realise that if he can't live without wanking to filmed sexual abuse, there are things such as live streaming sites, yes ? It's not like the internet isn't chock full of it just a couple of clicks away, it it ?

He'a winding you up. By dicing with letting his kids see porn.

What does that say about him ?

[Ihatethedailymail1]

He didn't save it. It Seems it was the last thing he looked at and he didn't delete it or look at anything else afterwards. Not that it makes much difference.

[AnyFucker]

The outcome is the same though

It's still on his phone, that he knows his kids use

[Spice22]

Op, maybe get them the cheap tablet as a gift for Christmas ? That way they can be entertained and your DH maintains his free access to his phone - win,win.

Also - would a 5 year old understand what is happening in a porn video? (Genuinely asking, just can't imagine them understanding it enough to be traumatised or even care).

Also, watching porn doesn't mean a lack of respect for women

[heron98]

It's not ideal, no. But I don't think a kid accidentally seeing a porn video is child abuse. I

[AnyFucker]

It's not an accident though is it

It's accidentally on purpose

[ageingrunner]

I can't believe how much some people don't seem to really care about children seeing porn 😳

[CalleighDoodle]

Honestly op why are you still married to him? Not just this issue, but how youve described your marriage and him in general.

[OneADayAndThenWhat]

I can't believe how much some people don't seem to really care about children seeing porn

I think there are a hell of a lot of parents who think they are responsible but who don't have any form of parental controls set up on their kids online devices and phones. It doesn't matter what age children are they should be protected from accidently or purposely seeing porn. If they only saw normal people having sex then it wouldn't be half so bad but unfortuanately there are far, far more disturbing and disgusting images and videos out there such as 'beheading' videos. I'd find those incredibly disturbing as an adult and I can't imagine what effect they would have had on me if I had seen them as a child.