Is talking about other girls just something most guys do?

[ArialAnna]

I know I shouldn't have (no good ever comes of it) but I looked through the what's app messages on DH's phone. I think I was feeling insecure as we haven't had sex for 4 months and I was wondering whether he'd started flirting with other girls out of sexual frustration (I'm 9 months pregnant and just haven't felt in the mood at all, though I've given him the odd hand and bj). There were a few slightly flirty conversations with female friends of his, but if I'm being sensible there was nothing really worse than ordinary banter. What's upset me more is that there is a conversation with a male colleague where they are discussing various female colleagues and what they are wearing and DH expresses a desire to 'do' one of them and says he had a dream about another. Part of me thinks I should just dismiss this as idiotic laddish things that men sometimes say to each other that are in reality meaningless. But part of me feels really hurt at the thought he's lusting after other women, particularly as I'm feeling massive and unattractive. My brain also can't reconcile that conservation as being from the same loving DH who all through my pregnancy so has been rubbing my back, & running round constantly getting me drinks, cooking meals, etc. Argh! It's so confusing - I wish I'd never looked! (I know - serves me right). What do you think?

I'm a man with a good mix of male friends and female friends, singles and couples. Sometimes we socialise collectively, sometimes just by gender. I can honestly say I have never heard the guys make those sorts of comments about women either in the full group setting or when it's just the guys. I can't speak for what the women say it's just them, but when we're all together, they are always making comments about other guys and what they'd like to do to them or "my ex-boyfriend had the smallest dick, I wanted to ask him 'was it in yet'?"

This might sound really awful but I can fully understand women talking About a mans penis.
I hear lots of comments from women criticising a mans size and sexual performance.
The thing is it is important to a lot of women.
If the Sex is crap then the relationship isn't good.

You can dress it up how you like but it does or can impact on a relationship.
The same isn't true for a woman.

If your husband is caught doing this by his employer, he will be looking at sexual harassment complaints and job loss. Sounds like a real catch when you're 9 months pregnant.

Honestly? Men talk a lot of shit sometimes. I'm guessing he works in sales or marketing where men are trying to come across as virile, dominant appha males, who could still pull women...if they weren't in a LTR.. And down to insecurities or bravado or whatever, men often play along or play a part - it's more about image amongst other men and it's not genuine or seriously having designs on other women. To be honest - mysoginistic crap like this needs to be challenged more often - but it means creating an atmosphere - spoiling the game so to speak. You've every right to feel disappointed - but then snooping doesn't cover you in virtue either.