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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband gave me an std

55 replies

MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 20:43

I'm really confused and don't know what to do. Have just found out my husband has cheated on me. The only reason he told me was that he has given me an std. It's been a difficult year as we had a baby in April but I really didn't expect this. I don't know where to go from here.

OP posts:
Fairybella · 01/12/2016 20:47

Oh crap... that's one hell of a shocker... what do you plan to do? Is it treatable? What do you want to do? I hope he knows how awful he is

BastardGoDarkly · 01/12/2016 20:50

What a bastard.

Pack his bags, seriously, what if he'd given you something life changing?!

Original poster
MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 20:51

It is treatable thankfully. I just don't see how I can ever trust him again. I just want everything to be normal but it never will be the same again as this happened after work when he said he was working late. He has a job with unpredictable hours so is often late

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 01/12/2016 20:51

Oh, and I'm so sorry, have you got some support?

Original poster
MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 20:53

I've told my mum but I'm just so angry with him. Feels like he has ruined my life. Also I have step children that are his and I'm trying not to be resentful that this happened while I was at home looking after them

OP posts:
happychristmasbum · 01/12/2016 20:55

Why are you trying not to be resentful? I would be fucking livid!!

I can't see how you could recover from this, I certainly couldn't.

StiffenedPleat · 01/12/2016 20:57

MrsAC1 You have every right to feel resentful. Has he described the circumstances? Has the woman been informed that she has an std?

StiffenedPleat · 01/12/2016 20:57

Is he still in touch with her?

Original poster
MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 20:58

She told him about the std. I know her so I checked with her to make sure she knew. I don't want to ruin Christmas for his kids

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 01/12/2016 20:58

What a twat, yes you should be resentful that you were looking after his children.
He isn't worth it, you deserve much better than this.
Maybe his ex ended up with an std too Sad he sounds like he'll never change.

Original poster
MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 20:59

He works in a pub and she drinks in there so I assume he will see her around. He says he will not have any contact

OP posts:
Paulat2112 · 01/12/2016 21:01

You are getting this wrong, you wouldn't be ruining his kids Christmas, he done that himself by having sex with someone other than his wife.

mrsdigestives · 01/12/2016 21:03

You sound lovely. he is the one who should be worried about ruining his kids christmas and about ruining yours!! Is he ultra apologetic?

Original poster
MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 21:03

It is just such a complete shock. I never suspected this. I never thought he would do this

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 21:05

He is apologetic but it feels like he is just scared I might leave and he'll be stuck for childcare, money etc

OP posts:
KeepCoolCalmAndCollected · 01/12/2016 21:06

She told him about the STD?
And he STILL slept with her and then he slept with you??
Sorry if I'm being stupid, but have i missed something.

Original poster
MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 21:08

She told him about the std last week. He slept with her before that

OP posts:
mrsdigestives · 01/12/2016 21:09

So you're doing the childcare and money and he's providing an sti Sad How long have you been with him? it's hard for you, with a young baby to take care of too Flowers

Original poster
MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 21:11

Been together four years 😔 I just don't see how we can get past this

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 01/12/2016 21:15

Why would you even consider it an option to "get past this" ? Confused

Are you aware that some std's can damage unborn baby's eyesight ? That's how much your husband thinks of you and the health of your baby.

timelytess · 01/12/2016 21:19

You can't get past it so stop trying. To get past it would be unreasonable.
Get some hugs from your mum and start getting your ducks in a row to be a single mother.

Bangers123456789 · 01/12/2016 21:21

anyfucker because some people hold onto hope don't they.

AnyFucker · 01/12/2016 21:22

I wasn't talking to you, Bangers

srslylikeomg · 01/12/2016 21:24

He fucked someone else, without protection, while you were looking after his children. From what you have said thats just the fact of it. No need to try not to be resentful. He is a total bastard. That is now fact.

You are going to leave because you have the inner strength to do so and you have the insight to realise he has no respect for you, he is not a good man and he WILL NOT CHANGE.

I HOPE that last becomes fact.

Original poster
MrsAC1 · 01/12/2016 21:25

This feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen though I know it's not. It could be worse. I guess I just don't want to leave but don't know how I can ever trust him again

OP posts:
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