19 year old DD hasn't even had her first kiss?

[BowlTie]

Would this bother you?

As her mum? No

As her? Maybe, depends if I was nicely and deliberately choosy

None of your business. And please don't suggest to her that there's anything wrong with it in the least.

I would think it had nothing to do with me unless she had told me she was bothered

Not at all.

How do you know she hasn't but would like privacy from over-intrusion into her life?

In what way?

Why would it?

She has told me that she doesn't care about having the kiss, but feels like it's stupid she hasn't. To be honest, I thought she already had it, like most teens her age (back of bike shed at school, etc.) I suppose I'm not fussed, but do feel a bit bad for her.

Good for her, romance only get in the way when you are a teen.
Maybe she doesn't want a boyfriend or a kiss.
I'd only speak to her if she was bothered about it, unless it was to say I was proud that she'd put more important stuff first.

I think it might but I'm not sure why. Not helpful sorry.

I was the same as your DD. Did not do me any harm. I just waited for the right person a little bit longer, it was my choice. My mother was absolutely tactless and could ask "why do you don't have a boyfriend, must be something wrong with you". I don't have a great relationship with her.

Go, I think that's how I feel tbh

It can be concerning, depending on the person. A friend of mine had no boyfriends throughout her teens, met a guy when she was 20 and took it slowly. 20 years on they are married, have their own house and 2 lively children. My sister on the other hand had no boy experience and was so desperate for it by the age of 19 that she went with the first second,thirdandforth idiot that came along. She is 30 now and has not managed to hold down a proper relationship as she craves the love so much she will literally take it from anyone.

It really does depend on the person.

Better than, say, pregnant at 14.

Is she happy? Has friends? Socialises? Has a job/in education? No worries.

But if "never been kissed" comes hand in hand with wider issues - no job, friends, etc then that's a problem. Not the lack of romantic relationships.

Hey, she is currently in her last year of A-Levels (retook the first year) and has a part-time job. She doesn't socialise much though and often asks if she's odd because she doesn't crave friends. She has maybe 1 or 2 that she will talk to, but definitely isn't that close to them. I suppose it's the whole social thing I'm worried about.

But how lovely would it be if her first kiss is with the person she ends up marrying?

My DD is nearly 19 and has never been on a date or been kissed. It's just the way she is. Doesn't bother me.

"But how lovely would it be if her first kiss is with the person she ends up marrying?fgrin"

Shudder

I have similar worries about my 20 year old son - he had a sort of 'girlfriend' when he was 15 and after only 3 weeks he was madly in love and she dumped him. Her friend said that if he bought her a particular perfume (£50 worth!!) she would go back out with him - he did - she didnt. He has never had another girlfriend, never had sex and seems terrified of girls. Ironically he is great company and would make a great partner!

His younger brother (nearly 19) has had more sexual partners over the past year than I have had in my life! Hes at uni and just loves people especially the female ones!

If your daughter isn't bothered then its fine - my son IS bothered and I wish so desperately that I could help him! His brother has helped him write a profile for a dating website but I don't know how far hes gone with that.

I think I would find it surprising and perhaps a little worrying if she was very shy. Can you help to encourage her to develop a more lovely social life? What clubs does she attend? Does she work with other young people in her part-time job?

*lively

To be honest I would worry. Bless her. Hopefully she will find some love soon .

My niece didn't have her 1st kiss until 20. At college she had her first boyfriend at 21, who was awful and she finished with him. According to her mum, there was no intimacy between them. She is now 22, finished college and in the process of deciding what to do with her life. She is an absolute gem of a person, and she's not prepared to have a boyfriend just because it's expected of her. She does get a bit frustrated about not having someone, but knows that it'll happen eventually.

Her younger sister had her 1st kiss at 18. She's still 18 and hasn't had a boyfriend, yet. She's another gem. She recently started college, which she's really enjoying, and feeling no pressure to find a man.

Hope this is reassuring for you.

I didn't lose my virginity until 23 . I just hadn't met the right person. I am 35 now and in a long term relationship. Some people are just a bit slower off the mark.

I hadn't either at her age. And a few months later met the man I was to marry and be happy with for 3 decades and counting. Not that I have any particular idea of it being special only to have had one boyfriend, just that that is the way my individual life panned out.

Life isn't one great big Red Book where you have to tick off the milestones by a certain date. It is far more exciting, far more unpredictable, far more individual than that.