Fey Child

[HoneyBeeMum1]

I feel I am in a difficult situation and would be grateful for the advice of the Mumsnet community.

My husband and I have been living in a remote and beautiful part of the Scottish Highlands having relocated from London a few years ago. We have five children, including a boy at university in England and four girls.

My husband is the love of my life and he loves me as deeply as I love him. Our children are healthy, happy and beautiful. We are fairly insular and - until recently - did not have much social interaction outside the immediate family. We have much to be thankful for and not a day goes by that I do not appreciate our good fortune.

So far, so good.

Unfortunately, there is a potential flaw in our blissful existence and I am in a complete quandary trying to decide how best to act.

My eldest daughter - who I will refer to as 'Emily' started at secondary school this academic year. Due to our remote location and the considerable distance to school, she boards from Monday to Friday and returns home for weekends.

Fortunately, she made a friend - who I will call Sarah - who lives only a few miles from us. We have become close friends with Sarah's parents and we share travel arrangements for the girls as well as regularly socialising with them.

Everything seemed to be working so well. However, I have started to have some concerns about Sarah. She is something of a 'fey child', given to flights of fancy and strange moods. I have noticed on occasions when she has been staying at our home that she has moments when she appears vacant and I suspect she might be experiencing petit-mal seizures. I have mentioned my concerns to her mother who insists that she is fine and puts her strange behaviour down to being an only child.

Unfortunately, Sarah's strange behaviour has been noticed by the other children at school and this has led to her being shunned. They accuse her of being a witch and some even claim to be afraid of her. Sarah is also prone to tantrums for which she has been punished by her teachers.

Emily is fiercely protective of her friend which makes me enormously proud. However, I fear she will be tainted by association and that this will affect her relationships with her teachers and other pupils.

Am I being selfish and unreasonable to feel that I would prefer Emily to make other friends and distance herself from Sarah? I realise that to do so will also jeopardise the newly forged friendship between our families which I would deeply regret losing.

Your advice and opinions would be of great assistance.

Thank you.

Lots of children living in remote parts of Scotland weekly board at state secondary schools because the journeys are so long

Yes, but the council provide transport. The OP says that they arrange the travel along with Sarah's parents , so it must be private.

Hasn't Stornoway got an airport?

Indeed it does , along with many other Scottish islands. But you can't commute from there to London. And it also has an excellent high school , the Nicholson Instittute , with over 1,000 pupils . In fact it's the largest in the western isles.

There are no private boarding schools in " remote areas " in Scotland , for the blindingly obvious reason that kids need to get there.

Even Hogwarts can be reached by train from Edinburgh

Females really can be extremely bitchy and get carried away coming out with smart comments to impress other posters friends. Witch being an example of this. Please support your daughter and her friendship. Otherwise you are teaching her to be a sheep. If she likes Sarah and their friendship is positive then why woukd you dream of stopping it. Does she have other friends? If not, I would try to encourage making new friendships without leaving Sarah behind. To me, this is bullying. The response by others and the bitches at the school.

Such an ironic thread.

This is... an interesting thread?

Not sure why you've leapt to petit mal seizures for periods where she goes vacant; it's a very common part of inattentive and combined-type ADHD. If I'm hyperfocusing or getting lost in my own thoughts, you could shout in my ear and I still wouldn't notice you!

It's not nice that she's being bullied. She could do with a nice, supportive friend in your daughter :)

Responses to this have made me laugh out loud

Why would you move out of London to the remotest part of the british isles and not expect to find other people who prefer an alternative lifestyle to the hard nosed capitalism of such a metropolis?

I would definitely use the developing saga as a plot for a novel though, sounds intriguing. Let your dd and her friend know of course so they can help you

Children have vivid imaginations and if you'd rather let the witch rumours influence you rather than go to the school with your medical concerns for this girl then what does that sound about you?

Your daughter sounds the most mature out of the lot of you.

wtaf?

However, I fear she will be tainted by association

Tainted?
Tainted?

If this is real, and I don't think I have ever said this before on MN, is this all you have to worry about?
Your clever, healthy daughter having a weird friend?

You think this could bring your affluent, privileged life crumbling around your blissful shoulders?

Just stop it.

Wicker Man?

Will this be available on Kindle?

Hang on, I need to get myself some popcorn for this.

Reported thread. OP, I hope to never find your remote part of Scotland. The locals would launch a witch hunt against you for this piffle.

I was kind of hoping it was a guess the book thread and I might get some Christmas reading ideas. I guess not as I remember vaguely the OPs style from other threads too. This may just be her life. In which case. Encourage your daughter to support her friend.

Assuming you are genuine OP and not a fake thread/plot for a book I think you should speak to Sarah's Mum and the school about Sarah and the fact that she is beig bullied and may have health issues/Special Needs that need addressing.

I also think that a few people on here are being a little unfair to you as I have heard the terms you use 'fey child' and 'petit mal' in remote Ireland where I have relatives.

However I do think your daughter is right to stand by her friend and should be encouraged to do so. Surely you don't want to teach her to shun a child because she is considered weird by peer group? However maybe both your daughter and Sarah could make better friendships at another school where bullying is not tolerated by the staff.

raven I think you should ghost write the OP's book.

A quirky friend can be lovely. Friends who, aged 11, entertain the idea another child is a witch and who are prepared to act on it, are not.

Well done to Emily for sticking by her friend.

Research Sarah's symptoms online and if you find something, ask her parents to seek medical attention for her.

It may also be worth mentioning concern about Emily being potentially isolated and/or bullied as a result of Sarah's treatment to the Pastoral officer at school, and suggest they observe Sarah closely to see if school think she may have an undiagnosed medical condition. This should also sort out the bullying.

OP has been around for quite a while, she just has an unusual way with words.

The husband doesn't commute to London.

They recently relocated from London but it doesn't say he goes back there every week, so they don't need to be near an airport.

I'd be really proud of my child if I were you. And in fact wouldn't want her to drop a friend just because other kids were unkind to her. Schools need more children like your daughter!

My best friend has absence seizures. If her parents won't do anything about it, discuss it with your daughter and maybe she could speak to her friend about it as well as explaining a possible cause to the idiots in her class.

a 'fey child'

well well well mumsnet really is the gift that keeps on giving

Has the OP come back?

Marks place

Also I'm very confused why your 10 year old daughter is going to high school and boarding when all the other children her age are in primary 6 or 7.

OP, in your threads you give away an awful lot of personal detail which is extremely identifying e.g. that you are a two hour drive from Inverness airport. You must live very remotely and your problems will be laid bare for anyone who may know you, including this girl's family. Unless of course you've changed details sufficiently?

Putting that to one side, I would speak to the school. No child should be singled out and treated like this and it's a credit to your daughter that she isn't affected by a group mentality.

This is a great thread