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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I ask him out?

159 replies

SomeoneShakeMe · 21/11/2016 14:53

I really, really like a guy. We've known each other about a year now, both were in other relationships to begin with so initially nothing more than friends. Both now single.
We work together, see a fair bit of each other out of work & text lots too.
He's a good friend, we mess about & have such a laugh. There's definite flirting too, but I keep doubting myself and convincing myself I'm reading too much into it.
My last LTR was EA and has left me with little self confidence and although I have improved a lot I still find it difficult to actually believe it when someone shows an interest. I'm driving myself a bit insane with the does he/doesn't he like me thing!

A little while ago he tried to steer the conversation that way but like a fool I just laughed it off, mainly as it was a bit out of the blue but mostly because I thought he was joking around until I thought about it later Blush needless to say he's not broached the subject since.

Now I don't know what to do! I can't casually ask him for drinks or a meal etc as we already do this. HELP!

OP posts:
SomeoneShakeMe · 24/11/2016 10:29

I wish I was pulling your legs Sad

I'm old enough not to play games tbh, but he's younger than me so who knows.

OP posts:
Dozer · 24/11/2016 10:41

Not great on his part, but now's your chance to text something to test the waters.

Jackiebrambles · 24/11/2016 10:46

Respond and say you were thinking the same thing re friday!

GinIsIn · 24/11/2016 11:09

ASK HIM! It may not work out, but if you never ask then it definitely won't!

SomeoneShakeMe · 24/11/2016 11:40

OK, I'll ask him tonight!

OP posts:
myfriendnigel · 24/11/2016 12:00

Yes, reply, 'or you could go for drinks with me instead'...as pp said...
Otherwise you might end up kicking yourself and it sounds like you could be on such a winner...

SomeoneShakeMe · 24/11/2016 13:29

Do guys even do the jealousy thing?

OP posts:
gustofwind · 24/11/2016 14:17

Good luck OP!

SomeoneShakeMe · 24/11/2016 14:54

Thanks, I think I'll need it, I'm bricking it!

OP posts:
Dozer · 24/11/2016 15:04

Go on, get it over with. Text him while at work!

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/11/2016 15:11

If you are friends he would be allowed to tell you he is going out with someone else without it being game-playing... But you do have to be a little more up front now!

SomeoneShakeMe · 24/11/2016 15:20

MrsT you have a point, I'm probably just more sensitive to it now that I like like him.

Dozer much as I want to just get it over with I really do need to wait til later!

OP posts:
QueenOfTheNaps · 24/11/2016 15:21

The appropriate reply most definitely is "well... I think you should go for drinks with me instead"

Do it OP! I'm excited for you!!

userformallyknownasuser1475360 · 24/11/2016 16:25

Maybe the other hussy person is someone else reading this thread, and thought they would seize the moment with a hot guy at work!!!

Being a male is say we don't normally do the jealousy thing (well not meaning to)

I remember when I was about 18 at university I really fancied a girl I worked with eventually (after months) picked up the courage to ask her out, only problem was I was going home for Xmas - didn't go before Christmas and when I came back she had a new boyfriend.

Spoke to her years later on Facebook and she told me that she had fancied the arse off me and had been just waiting for me to ask. Her and the other jammy bastard bloke are now married with two kids.

neverreturnstothreads · 24/11/2016 16:30

Definitely say "or you could go for drinks with me instead." Don't stuff it up now OP!!!!

myfriendnigel · 24/11/2016 16:38

Just pottering in >>not over invested in this at all

Snowflake65 · 24/11/2016 16:40

Do we have anyone shaking pompoms here for you? not place-marking

idlewilde · 24/11/2016 16:51

OP - delurking to say good luck. I am very excited for you Grin

Dozer · 24/11/2016 16:52

My DH did the jealousy thing with me! Not his best ever moment but it worked!

loopylou6 · 24/11/2016 16:54

Ask him quick, because he might end up in a relationship with this hussy woman, then you'll forever kick yourself

Shayelle · 24/11/2016 17:01

Update please!!! Grin

userformallyknownasuser1475360 · 24/11/2016 18:35

Let him know you have psycho friends on mumsnet who will be round for a word if he says no!!!!

Amandahugandkisses · 24/11/2016 18:41

Oh no she got in there!
Damn you need to move quick girl

stiffstink · 24/11/2016 18:49

Its like when Rachel from Friends decides she likes Ross (urgh) and meets him at the airport but Julie's there!

Don't let Julie win!

Lelloteddy · 24/11/2016 19:04

Just ask him already!