WWYD, tell his wife or not?

[wtf2]

So angry and ashamed right now with myself.... this time last year I was single but was having an affair with a married man. He told his wife and said he wanted to make the marriage work. He carried on with me behind her back for another month. Then she found out and we ended. The last 2 months we've been in contact again (I am still single) and we met this week whilst he was in London for work, we spent the night together. It was the same as before. Except I now feel completely repulsed by myself and him. His wife thinks yet again that all is fine. She trusts him. He has yet again cheated on her. It's not my place to tell her is it and he wants to see me again so has clearly not changed. I'm disgusted at myself but really looking for opinions as to whether to tell his wife in light of the other thread about telling the other partner. I know I'd want to know but would be mortified to hear it from the ow

It's nothing to do with wanting to hurt him. I've no feelings for him other than indifference now and no wish to be in contact with him. But if my husband was like him, I'd want to know.
There is not a shred of that that is remotely credible or believable.
You are trying to convince yourself that it is true but it is completely delusional.
You've suddenly developed this "conscience" only after you've split up?
I'm not buying it. This is all about revenge and if you do tell her, everyone will see you as the vengeful bunny-boiler.

Yes I would tell her because I believe she deserves to know.

However, I also think you are minimising what you have done. Hopefully, for all concerned, once you tell her, he will be so angry he will never contact you again.

She knows he cheated with you, she knows he continued to cheat with you after she knew and she still chose to stay with him. She knows what he is like.

Leave it be. If you are truly repulsed and disgusted then end contact with him and don't respond to him. Actions speak louder than words.

wtf2 - If you want advice, delete this loser from your phone, dig around for some dignity, and walk away into the sunset with your head held high.

Seriously - you fell for the 'my wife doesn't understand me' line twice?

If you are 21 and under - put it down as a learning experience. If you are older, I'd advise you to take some time off from relationships and work out how it came to this.

I don't think you want advice though. I think you're after a bit more drama.

You do realise, that you won't be the only OW? He is capable of cheating on his wife, enjoys extra marital sex and will be sleeping with several women, his wife included. I wouldn't tell her. She will find out soon enough, as he will slip up at some point. I would however recommend an STD test, as you have just had sex with a Player.

HuskyLover - don't you think the wife would benefit from an STI test as well? Unless OP tells her she won't realise she's at risk.

OP stop fantasising about it and just get on with it and tell her.

wtf2, Why would you tell her? It's not for you to tell, you're not the 'injured party' here. To be to the point here, if you felt that strongly then you wouldn't have been with him or reconnected with him again - and you did

You say that you felt repulsed yet you're still in contact. The 'I felt repulsed' was the clue for you to stop. If you didn't then you didn't - leave them to their marriage and stay out of it now.

She'll be better off knowing but don't expect her not to shoot the messenger.

I've seen countless posts on mumsnet from women who knowingly sleep with married men, then proceed to feel so much compassion for their wife that they feel she has the right to know. How funny that this compassion doesn't extend to being able to remain fully clothed whilst in the presence of their husband!

formerbabe....yes, that exactly.

You weren't worried about his wife when you were with her husband. Why are you bothered about her feelings now?

Please find some self respect, block this man and get on with your life.

Agree with above posters!

I suspect he knocked you back or wouldn't commit so you only NOW feel it's right to tell his wife

Why else would you all of a sudden feel the need to tell all to his wife

I think he's knocked you back

Sorry OP, but I agree with the others, his wife was very far from your thoughts, when he was giving you one, so why think about her now ?.I suspect he's done something to piss you off and contemplating telling her, is motivated by jealousy. I don't know why you've got yourself involved again with this married man, is it really worth all the heart ache and pain to everybody concerned ?.