WWYD, tell his wife or not?

[wtf2]

So angry and ashamed right now with myself.... this time last year I was single but was having an affair with a married man. He told his wife and said he wanted to make the marriage work. He carried on with me behind her back for another month. Then she found out and we ended. The last 2 months we've been in contact again (I am still single) and we met this week whilst he was in London for work, we spent the night together. It was the same as before. Except I now feel completely repulsed by myself and him. His wife thinks yet again that all is fine. She trusts him. He has yet again cheated on her. It's not my place to tell her is it and he wants to see me again so has clearly not changed. I'm disgusted at myself but really looking for opinions as to whether to tell his wife in light of the other thread about telling the other partner. I know I'd want to know but would be mortified to hear it from the ow

You should be disgusted with yourself. No sympathy here caus your acting like a tart. There are loads of single men out there go find one.
one day when you are married and think your life is good how will YOU feel if someone cheats on you.

Rather than focusing on whether to tell his wife or not, I think you should be concentrating on yourself. Why do you want to sleep with a man that disrespects you and his wife?

Usually I'm for telling the wife. But in this case she already knows what a cheating shit bag her husband is. Leave them to it and cut all contact.

And there is every chance he loves her (in his selfish, twatbag way). He is still with her. He doesn't love you, otherwise he wouldn't be using his unfinished kitchen renovation as his excuse for not leaving her. Honestly, how deluded can you get? You want to tell her because you can't think of any other way to break them up and it's not happening despite your no doubt ample allurements.

Are you just wanting to tell her because you feel guilty?

I think we all know the answer is yes

wtf2, you think it will make you feel better; a confession of sorts and a way to clear your conscience. But it won't.
If you tell her, then tell her. No hints or cryptic messages.
Then step away and move on (not with another married man)

Yes he's playing us both. I know. She doesn't. That's what I wanted advice on.

But he was playing you both before.

Nothing has changed.

What, you mean tell her, so you can have hook ups with a cheater that thinks marriage has a "shelf life". He's a complete twat. Be honest Isn't he why your conveniently single. The sex must be fantastic, that's all I can say for two silly women to be involved with him. Your right about one thing, you should be disgusted with yourself. Your immoral. And before anyone chimes in. Yes. I'm am judging you. Raise your standards.

Well you know so stop making yourself avaliable to be played. No doubt there will be others after you.

She already knows he cheated and chose to stay. She may carry on with this decision she may see the light and leave but that's for her to do not you

Yes he's playing us both. I know. She doesn't. That's what I wanted advice on.

Oh ffs, it's worse than I thought. My advice is to end the affair and stay away from him and his wife. You can't change him or control what he does. You can control only what you do. His marriage isn't your business, even less so once you're no longer involved in it.

Good God, I know people are vulnerable but I just can't understand why women do this to themselves.

Alternatively OP, you could tell his wife and then I guarantee he will solve the problem by dumping you immediately.

If you really are trying to do right by her, leave her husband alone fgs.

She probably knows, or at least suspects. Leave them to it.

Next time you meet a married man, keep your knees together. Don't waste your prime years on mendacious scumbags. I don't know you but I imagine that you deserve more. Good luck.

Tell her, and I think you need to look at your own issues. Shagging a married man is just wrong, You are just as guilty as he is

I feel sad for her

Sure you do.

Please tell.
I would welcome being told. It's absolutely shut being kept in the dark.

Wow the horrible comments towards OP... Not nice.

OP in answer to your question I wouldn't say anything, I think you need to move on.

Tell the wife, tell the wife, tell the wife! Tell her about what he said about the "shelf life" of the marriage too. She shouldn't be wasting any more of her years with this cunt - or at least she should have the opportunity to make an informed choice as to whether to waste more of her life with him or not.

I don't know. Over on another thread I'm seeing people stating that they think it's quite reasonable to punch OWs. I think people are being quite measured here. Totally agree with saying nothing and just moving on, though.

Wow the horrible comments towards OP...not nice...really?? Perhaps you'd like to sit down and tell my children that after their world was blown apart by people like OP and her "boyfriend". Oh please...

Am absolutely sure, OP, that his DW knows exactly what sort of position she's in...

What she does is of no consequence to you, you're not doing her an favours, or the "decent" thing, you're being a bitch. So just cut off contact with him and let them get on with it.

No, the comments aren't nice. But then it's not nice to shag someone else's husband and then try to relieve your own guilt by telling her about it.

You are single OP. In some ways you really can do what the hell you want with anyone you want. BUT why carry this on when you knew he was married and probably wouldn't leave her? Different if you thought he actually wanted to be with you

I would tell her. They are married. She has a right to know she's married to a cheating arsehole. And FGS, end whatever this thing is with him and move on with your life

Any chance you want to tell her just to detonate the whole thing and maybe stop you from doing it again?

If so, it's selfish. Just walk.

Because he only wants you for a fuck on the side, you feel like you've been had over (you have).

And now you want bitter revenge?

Tell her. Look, she knows he was cheating before. She will be on a massive lookout for any more misdemeanours and she's in a worse situation now - she's going out on a limb giving him a chance probably against a lot of her own logic.

Never mind her kitchen, for gods sake!

Yes, his crime is certainly worse than yours. I feel for you too. Stay away from this man, he's bad news for you.

Not revenge, I went into it with my eyes open. I shouldn't have done it. I know that but his wife doesn't know. Whether she suspects or not, she doesn't know.