Affairs and long marriages

[MagicHatching]

An older friend has recently been widowed and has been talking a lot about affairs she has had over the years.

I'm fascinated about it. How many people do you think, in long long marriages actually end up doing it? And how many spouses know? Do the same?

It's so interesting to me because I know of lots of people IRL who have had affairs at some point over the course of their lives. And it's treated so differently than I see discussed on here.m, I suppose because it's from a long time ago and not fresh.

Just a conversational question really. I've been with DH 15 years and don't think either of us would have an affair but it makes me realise how long and complicated life is and that you just don't know!

I have been extremely tempted by two colleagues in my 30 year marriage but not until my 40's so agree that it is more likely once the kids are a bit older and boredom has set in, although I am just speaking as a woman there. I had almost a female mid life crisis!! I didn't in the end but the attraction was strong. I think it's rife amongst people who work in mixed sex offices and who travel. One of my "almost" moments was on a week long work trip. Sat opposite my crush in a hot tub with him making it clear he was interested was hard to resist.

My DH works in a very mixed environment and would have had opportunity as away a lot. I have no idea though as he doesn't about by nearly moments....

I would imagine it's more widespread than people let on. So easy with the internet now too.

Dh had a very one-sided emotional affair/huge crush early on in our relationship when we were going through a bad patch. It really shocked me but in many ways it was a great eyeopener that even good guys can do hurtful things and that you never really know the other person. We worked on our relationship and hes a fantastic husband and a great dad. I love him a lot but if he did end up having an affair, i'd be having a lot of emotions but shock would not be one of them.

Life is full of temptation and human beings seem to be prone to fickle, impulsive, irrational, selfish behaviour.