This is about abuse. Not sexual financial or physical or even verbal in ways that are generally understood.
It was covert passive aggressive abuse over 17 years and i finally got him to leave 20 months ago. I now know that it involved all the above but so subtly that even now it feels like a fog trying to penetrate it.
Although I know intellectually that it was abuse it's only This week that I've started to get it emotionally and now I'm broken.
I'll never be in another relationship because i can't trust myself to stay safe and also i have vaginismus which ideveloped due to his approach to sex.
Every day more and more things hit me and break my heart all over again.
The thing is that i can't even give examples because I'm so scared of people not getting it and making me question myself again.
I'll never stop questioning if it was all my fault. I'm broken.
Please say you believe me because he is such a master at subtle passive aggressive abuse no one (except my counsellor and close friend) would ever get it.
I'm not a drama queen making this up but thats what I've been telling myself for years.
I feel sick all the time and just need to get it out.