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Relationships

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Original poster

Do you ever call your OH on their work landline?

94 replies

RingOfFire79 · 11/11/2016 16:34

So, this is an etiquette question mostly - I know it's tiny but it's been bugging me and I would like to know what others do (I'm a serious relationship newbie).

Occasionally I will need to speak to my partner while he's at work. I'll try him on his mobile but sometimes it's on silent and it's in his pocket. I'll then send a text asking him to call back and wait. Only if it's urgent, I have sometimes then rung his office landline and said - if he picks up - "hi, are you ok to talk? If so, can you ring me back on your mobile please?" That's it - we never have personal conversations on his landline. If he doesn't pick up, I just leave it and wait for him to ring me back.

Do you think this is ok? What do others do? I don't want to pester him at work (my ex sister-in-law used to ring my brother's secretary 20 times a day and shout at her when she couldn't be put through) but sometimes I do need to speak to him about an urgent/important matter.

This is my first serious relationship with someone in quite a while and I've forgotten what to do/what is reasonable! (Mum quite often rings me on my work landline about really, really random, non-urgent/important stuff and I don't really think that's appropriate but I love her and she's lovely (and my boss' wife does it to him lots) so it's ok )

OP posts:

Clutterbugsmum · 11/11/2016 21:57

No, mainly because he has no idea of the number.

But I do text/ring either his work or personal mobile if I need too.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 11/11/2016 22:15

I do occasionally have to speak to dh during the day and I have to ring him on a landline because he works in a technologically sensitive environment and mobile phones are strictly forbidden.

If they weren't though then yes I'd probably just ring his mobile.

pringlecat · 11/11/2016 22:21

Calling someone on their work landline is inappropriate unless there's an emergency. It's hugely unprofessional otherwise.

Send a text or equivalent (e.g. WhatsApp).

YonicProbe · 11/11/2016 22:24

"Calling someone on their work landline is inappropriate unless there's an emergency. It's hugely unprofessional otherwise."

Why?

If someone will answer their mobile, why not their landline?

Bonobosown · 11/11/2016 22:29

at "I don't believe in voicemail"

I actually hate voicemail myself (am 28) but daft turn of phrase there op.

Original poster

RingOfFire79 · 12/11/2016 00:08

79 does not refer to my year of birth. A millennial is anyone born 1982 and later ie 18 or younger at the start of the new millennium. And that includes me.

OP posts:

Original poster

RingOfFire79 · 12/11/2016 00:13

I don't believe in the usefulness of voicemail - it takes time just to get into it when it is faster to read a text, if people have let it build up then it takes ages just to get into a voicemail. So no, I don't believe in voicemail as being a useful efficient way to get a message to someone who isn't there.

But thanks to all of those who took the time to make useful contributions

OP posts:

griffinsss · 12/11/2016 00:18

I quite often do. I end up talking to his PA more often than him, but I usually only need to relay a message anyway so that's fine. I've never considered this to be an issue.

catkind · 12/11/2016 00:26

Where DH works and where I work it's fine having the odd phone call. Usually it's when I'm driving through the area to ask if he wants a lift home. As professionals we're giving a lot more than the contracted hours, it would be petty of them to begrudge the odd minute on the phone or sending a personal email, and they don't.

One person in my office takes the piss slightly and at times seems to spend the whole day on the phone making arrangements for domestic stuff. Most people it's very occasional.

pringlecat · 12/11/2016 00:32

YonicProbe If you take a call on your mobile, you can slope off. If you take a call on your landline, you are having an obviously personal call, usually in earshot of lots of people. If you must not do any work, at least be discreet about it!

Furthermore, if you call a landline and it's not answered, it will often be picked up by a secretary or receptionist, so you then involve someone else in your personal business. My secretary does enough for me as it is, I wouldn't want her having to take messages in relation to my private life unless it was life or death.

BerylStreep · 12/11/2016 00:41

I phone DH landline maybe 2 times a week. Sometimes just a quick, hi, how are you doing? Or don't forget to pick up xx on the way home from work. Not particularly long or frequent.

They have a no mobiles on desk policy in his work, so very bad form to ring him on the mobile. He phones me about a similar number of times.

I'm really surprised at the number of people who say they would v rarely do it.

There is a member of staff in my place who spends the entire day on the phone to family members. Does f all work. Everyone knows and judges, but her line manager does nothing about it because they are besties Very annoying and unprofessional.

mum11970 · 12/11/2016 00:58

All the time but dh has his own business so it's not an issue.

BubblingUp · 12/11/2016 01:01

I don't even know my own land line work phone number. I would never want it used for non-work purposes. These "open offices" that have now, leaves zero privacy.

Isetan · 12/11/2016 04:36

This isn't about etiquette it's about what the other person is comfortable with and what their employer is comfortable with. I wasn't keen hated people calling me at work and would prefer they only called in an emergency when a decision had to be made or information needed to be relayed immediately.

Why don't you talk to your partner and establish a protocol.

DanGleballs · 12/11/2016 06:06

My OH doesn't even have the number. He texts me and I text back or I ring when convenient.

HKHKHR · 12/11/2016 09:02

I am a millennial (didn't know I was before today) and DP is slightly older, funnily enough I don't really do voicemail but he does.

He has a job similar to Lunars DP; I ask him about his day before hand so I have an idea what he will be doing roughly. It would have to be an extreme emergency to call him during work but he calls me often on the way to and from work and lunchtime.

We have agreed between us what constitutes an emergency e.g. Unwell parents I would handle until he could call me, Child related he needs to know straight away.

Might be an idea for you OP.

GreenHen · 12/11/2016 17:38

No - never phone him at work (and he hasn't phoned me either) and we have been together 14 years. Never had anything serious enough happen to have to speak to him.

I will text/email though - for odd things like ' did you give the dog his tablet?'

His parents however do. It drives him insane as he has told them NOT to do this unless it is an emergency. Yesterday that rang him twice at work - the first time to ask if he got the email they sent him last night about a Christmas present and the second time to question his travel plans (for a journey he is doing in over a weeks time and is a very routine part of his working life...). He is going to speak to them about it again apparently.

Scooby20 · 12/11/2016 17:46

I was born in 82. I leave voicemails, I don't know anyone my age that doesn't.

Honestly if dh called me on my work phone, unless an actual emergency, I would be pissed off. I am busy at work. I don't need him calling me and putting me further back. At least if he calls my phone or texts I can reply when I have a spare few minutes.

ememem84 · 12/11/2016 19:19

My office has a bit of a thing about us using mobiles in the office. So dh calls my landline and I his.

Work do frown upon too many personal calls (i.e. If we were just calling for a chat for hours) but are ok with the occasional "where's the car/I'm staying late/get milk" call.

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