Do you ever call your OH on their work landline?

[RingOfFire79]

So, this is an etiquette question mostly - I know it's tiny but it's been bugging me and I would like to know what others do (I'm a serious relationship newbie).

Occasionally I will need to speak to my partner while he's at work. I'll try him on his mobile but sometimes it's on silent and it's in his pocket. I'll then send a text asking him to call back and wait. Only if it's urgent, I have sometimes then rung his office landline and said - if he picks up - "hi, are you ok to talk? If so, can you ring me back on your mobile please?" That's it - we never have personal conversations on his landline. If he doesn't pick up, I just leave it and wait for him to ring me back.

Do you think this is ok? What do others do? I don't want to pester him at work (my ex sister-in-law used to ring my brother's secretary 20 times a day and shout at her when she couldn't be put through) but sometimes I do need to speak to him about an urgent/important matter.

This is my first serious relationship with someone in quite a while and I've forgotten what to do/what is reasonable! (Mum quite often rings me on my work landline about really, really random, non-urgent/important stuff and I don't really think that's appropriate but I love her and she's lovely (and my boss' wife does it to him lots) so it's ok )

What's a millennial??

Someone younger than me nocapes
Although, I assume not someone born in this millennium as that would make them my sons age!

I don't want to sound harsh, but six "emergencies" in 18 months (I assume that's how long you have been together?) does sound rather excessive.

I would consider it an emergency to ring a work landline to let someone I was dating know that their own father was at deaths door, but not my own father. It just isn't the same.......................What were the other emergencies?

No, never although he occasionally uses his office landline to call home before leaving.

I very rarely contact him at work and if I do it's usually by text and as brief as possible. Actual calls are reserved for emergencies and stuff like house move/solicitor that requires discussion. I always check to see if he can talk and if he's busy he'll call back.

I am ancient and never ever leave a voicemail!

DH did have a colleague who's wife called the office several times a day about absolutely nothing. Ridiculous.

I have DH's work landline number but have never used it. I would if it was an emergency and I couldn't get hold of him on his mobile, but it would have to be something like if I was in labour or DD was in A&E.

I do occasionally ring him on his mobile at work for non-emergencies like "do you know where the boiler key is?" Or "DD has a goopy eye, the nursery might call you to collect her as I'm in meetings all afternoon".

We email fairly often during the working day (can you pick up some milk on the way home, etc).

That's what I thought Captain surely they can't be born this Millenium

DH doesn't even have a landline work number anymore (work
mb and home MN) I do call him on both.

I used to call his office all the time...just to tell him I was having a crap day/had lost a DC in the house/there was a dead mouse. If DH wasn't there one of his colleagues would have helped me the young pretty girl who always wore very short skits and skyscraper heels offering to come to my house to remove a mouse was embarrassing. He has only ever called me at work once to return my call when he couldn't get hold of me by mb as I was driving to collect DS from school to take him to A & E but he was actually nearer school so would get there quicker...it's only an emergency if the other person needs to react, or if someone has died.

I use email for relatively non urgent things like "I can get milk at lunchtime". The only time I've phoned the office is "It's 12.55, my laptop is doing updates, please can you pick up dc from nursery and I'll be there asap"

My DW doesn't phone very often, but emails and texts constantly with errands. It really pisses me off.

I call dh to see if he's going out for lunch (sometimes I join him) or to find out where he's parked the car or to let him know if I'm walking home or leaving early.

Why does it piss you off, darmody?

Unless someone was dying, then no. It can all wait.

If he isn't answer Skype/Text/Mobile then just no.

Same expected for me.

Do all those saying 'no, never' have DHs without a direct number?

Why is it worse to call their direct line than their mobile, assuming not a private convo?

TBH I think it really depends on how old you are as to whether you consider it acceptable, or how long you've been together for instance.

When me and eXH got together there was no such thing as texting or even email in the workplace, and he was at uni still. He used to ring me at work, so when he got a job it just followed that I would call him on his work landline, although not excessively obviously. I think it also depends on whether you have an individual landline I.e. when I worked in a call centre I didn't have my own number so he would never call me at work unless it was urgent because he'd have to speak to me.

Now if I need to speak to him I will ring his mobile even in the evening, then he knows it's me Iyswim. But I've recently been in hospital and have had to speak to him as DS has been staying there, so have done so on his work phone.

Yonic - for me, it's not about which line I use, it's about the fact he's at work. I wouldn't call him when he's working, unless there were some emergency. Same as he wouldn't call me.

Depends on the company i guess.
When my wife was a sahm we used to chat on skype daily. Now she is working she texts as and when. She can call me whenever she wants but doesnt unless its something she needs to ask

I cant imagine no chatting via text on a daily basis. But then i work in a grown up company that realises people have a private life.

never.
but would in an absolute emergency.

Yonicprobe

Because I don't have infinite time, have a million and one things to do at work, and don't need four different emails before noon asking me to pick up this, that or the next thing.

Presumably she sends them as she thinks of them and you pop out at lunchtime or on the way home, though?!

DH and I rarely communicate during the day, I can email him or call his direct line (no mobiles allowed) although he travels and has lots of meetings so I have basically learnt to deal with all the crises myself.

When he is just having a normal office day I might email him or call with an idea or question.

In my current job I don't have a direct line but I am surgically attached to my phone and can take personal calls if I want but would never have a chat during working hours I'm too busy. I use txt to communicate with my DC if anyone else contacts me I'll generally respond in the evening.

I am not sure of the definition of a millennial but DC 20&17 don't do vmail, the don't even listen to the home answerphone so it just beeps until I get home.

We email mostly, occasional WhatsApps, the odd mobile call if nursery have rung yet again about DS. DH takes calls regularly at work so I couldn't call him on his landline if I wanted to.

Millennials start from those born in the early 80s (ie coming of age around 2000). I think you'll find a good number of MNers are under 35

My DH doesn't have a landline as such. Similar to me. We have a landline number, but it comes to our work mobiles. The caller wouldn't know this though. Basically the landline number and the work mobile number go to the same phone.

I occasionally ring him at work if I've got a problem I can't solve in the day and I know he has the answer. If he's in a meeting I know he won't answer it. However, he always answered when I was pregnant of course.

The other day I rang him fuming because the National Trust cards weren't where he told me they were when I was about to go and meet a friend at a NT property. I thought he'd gone to work with them in his wallet again.
I just shouted "Where are the NT cards? They are not in the bureau where you said they were?!".
I could tell he was not in a position to talk to me as he kept repeating calmly and quietly that they were indeed inside the bureau.

Anyway, they were in a slightly different place in the bureau.
I felt a bit of a tit and embarrassed that I was harrassing him when he was with others, over something that sounded so ridiculous.
I sent a text to apologise.

So yes, occasionally I ring him!

If the 79 in your username refers to your year of birth OP then you are not a millennial. And fancy Mumsnet members mostly having children eh? anyway I never call my DH work landline, only call mobile if urgent but usually WhatsApp or another instant messenger he has on his PC. How very millennial of me, perhaps.