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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Skyyequake 2: Shaking Things UP

121 replies

skyyequake · 16/10/2016 22:07

Original Thread

Come join me again in dealing with CuntMonkey ex and getting rid of yucky feelings!

Also up for discussion: Hot Men for us to imagine riding off into the sunset with, Cake for eating our feelings, and Friends quotes because we need some humour to save our sanity!

OP posts:
skyyequake · 20/10/2016 12:10

So I had a bit of a rough night last night. I was chatting to a friend online and he said something completely harmless but for some reason it just really highlighted how uncomfortable I am in my own skin since being pregnant/having DD. So last night was filled with tears and feeling very sorry for myself, but this morning I've decided that if I'm unhappy then there's only one person who can do something about it: Me!

I've been so caught up in XP and thinking about what he's done/what he's doing, plus looking after DD, that I haven't been focusing on myself independent from him. I've always struggled with routine and motivation to just do simple everyday things, its a flaw of mine and XP sabotaged any attempts I made at self-improvement (probably not even consciously, just by being his twatish self).

So I've put some alarms on my phone to try and get myself and DD into a proper routine, especially in the mornings. If nothing else, I don't want to be that mum that always brings her kid to school late for no good reason. If I start getting myself together now then I should be in good practice before school-runs start!!

I'm going to go to bed earlier, I'm going to eat healthier, go on longer walks more often, budget better. Eventually I'm hoping to be better at getting up in the mornings, start saving up properly so we have a safety net, and get my body back to something I vaguely recognise, as well as raising my energy levels.

Basically I've had enough of wallowing over XP. I'm going to build myself up gently, so I don't burn out from pushing myself too hard, but those are all my long-term goals.

Im going to have a bath when DD has a nap and that's going to be my fresh start. Then once she wakes up we're going to walk to Asda which is about an hour round trip.

Tomorrow is Freedom and that's about a half an hour walk away and will be nice to talk to people. I'm going to make another banana loaf tonight for it. Its not on next week as its half term, but the week after I'm going to have a go at making some brownies (this way I get to practise baking without eating it all!)

Did I mention that this week marks two years since I gave up smoking! I stopped as soon as I got the positive result on the pregnancy test! Never got any support from XP though as apparently it was "easy" for me Hmm

Sorry for the rant, just felt like I needed to get it all out!

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 20/10/2016 13:52

good for you skye! i need some of your willpower rant away!

ayeokthen · 20/10/2016 14:02

I'm sorry you had a tough night, but once again I am absolutely in awe of your pro active attitude and your plans to combat how you're feeling and improve your life. Can you shove some willpower my way? I'll swap it for cake Grin or does that defeat the point?
Anyway, you are awesome was the general tone of my comment, again, because you are!!!

skyyequake · 20/10/2016 14:34

Lol I think swapping willpower for cake is the exact opposite of what I'm aiming for 😂

Don't be in awe I haven't done it yet Grin although I have had my bath and taken my iron tablet which I haven't done in months the iron tablet not the bath

DD is still sleeping so I'm going to do a quick tidy and enjoy one of my last two diet coke cans before I try and cut back on the fizzy drinks - possibly the most impossible of my goals tbh Grin

I apply the 20 seconds philosophy to willpower too... 20 seconds to get up and just start doing something and once you start its easier to keep going. 20 seconds to walk past that snack in the supermarket so its not sitting in the cupboard at home tempting you!

I'm still feeling a bit shit about myself today, just with a bit more determination fueled by the fact that I don't want to feel shit about myself anymore!

OP posts:
ayeokthen · 20/10/2016 14:50

I'm going to take a leaf out of your book Skyye start setting myself goals and challenges to build up my self esteem and confidence. We can do it together Grin

skyyequake · 20/10/2016 15:02

Yayy! My advice is to start small... I've tried to pull a complete 180 before and it works great for a couple of days and then I just crash out and it all goes to shit Grin

What are you thinking will be your first steps?

OP posts:
ayeokthen · 20/10/2016 16:06

Sent you a PM Skyye, bye everybody I've deregistered so at some point I'll go . Thanks for the laughs and fun all of you, MN just got a bit too nasty for me elsewhere and I need to take myself away before it really gets me down. Cake for you all, you've all been awesome!

GiddyOnZackHunt · 20/10/2016 17:59

Hang on I've come to catch up and you're off aye? Is it disablist stuff?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 20/10/2016 18:11

:(
I was going to suggest our avocado thing. Pittas with avocado and cheese on top like toasted cheese with avocado sliced underneath. Add bacon or bacon substitute too if you fancy it. Lots of black pepper.
Anyway skyye You're douing brilliantly. I like your 20s plan and a good routine is always a winner. Especially if it includes stuff that makes you feel good!

skyyequake · 20/10/2016 18:17

Hey Giddy! I don't know if aye's account has already gone poof or not... She told me that she was getting some personal attacks but I don't know the details.

That avocado dish sounds yummy I'll have to try it! We had boiled egg, tomato and avocado on toast today Grin

Thank you! I hope I can stick to a routine, at least partly anyway!

OP posts:
GiddyOnZackHunt · 20/10/2016 18:25

I haven't been very active but I seem to remember something getting a bit heated. :( Very sorry she's gone.
I wonder if scrambled egg, tomato & avocado would work?
I'm not much help in chatting Friends & movie stars though. I hardly watch any telly or films Blush

skyyequake · 20/10/2016 18:31

I think any kind of egg would work tbh but boiled seemed the easiest tonight Grin

And that's ok, we weren't exactly admiring their acting abilities!! Grin

OP posts:
GiddyOnZackHunt · 20/10/2016 18:55

Ha! The movie stars these days are all so polished. I'm rather partial to a deeply unfashionable furry chest. Luckily for DH.

GabsAlot · 20/10/2016 22:36

oh no aye i missed u!

hope shes ok

Lynnm63 · 20/10/2016 23:13

Sky I've been awol for a day or two, feeling poorly. If you have ayes details please send her my regards. So sad that a site that should be helpful can do the opposite.

myfriendnigel · 21/10/2016 06:59

That is sad about aye. She always posted so thoughtfully here and on capes' thread.
I struggle with motivation too. For example I was meant to get up half an hour ago to get ready and walk the dog before work. And I haven't.
Really must...
Have a good day all

skyyequake · 21/10/2016 07:09

Hey guys! I have aye on fb now so I will pass along your well wishes! She seems to be doing better now she's deregistered...

nigel don't worry I got up late today too but I got up earlier than usual so I'm counting it as a win Grin

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 21/10/2016 11:12

pass on my best wishes skye-i sent he4r a om but obviously too late

skyyequake · 21/10/2016 14:35

Gabs I PMd you!

aye has asked me to say that she will miss all of you and she's sorry for disappearing!

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 21/10/2016 17:37

cheers for the message

GabsAlot · 31/10/2016 19:43

hi skyy

thought id revive your thread-say hi!!

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