Is there a name for this sort of behaviour?

[LynetteScavo]

When someone subtly, but very effectively, aggravates another person, then when the other person becomes annoyed, makes out the other person is wholly unreasonable. A show of being a calm rational person will then take place as they try to placate the person they have annoyed.

It's not gaslighting. Lundy Bancroft identifies this type of abuser as the "Water Torturer".
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2268977-The-Abuser-Profiles

Glad to hear it's not your DH :)

At face value it's twatish. However, I've worked with people, who have genuinely annoyed people & don't realise how annoying they are & so there are two sides to every story

Oh my goodness I just read the water torturer and it was spot on.

I was nodding a lot to the water torturer....I'd forgotten about the mimicking..exaggerated mimicking of facial expressions. On the face of it harmless, yet annoying, especially when combined in quick succession with the other things.

It's given me a lot to think about.