Ok so you know now.
Right at the beginning of our relationship my not then H brought his laptop round because I didn't have one or a TV in room to watch something in bed, he opened it on some XXXgirls website, I took the piss big time, he was mortified. And a bit embarrassed because it was "a bit sad and seedy".
A lot of male friends and boyfriends in the past have watched porn, I am unimpressed for a whole variety of reasons, and I think porn has got more degrading for women but also the men involved as well as time has gone on.
So what has happened to you right now is a chance to reset and get things all out in the open.
Yes romance suffers with small children, ill parents, life and work.
But it doesn't mean it's gone forever.
If you can both find a way to talk this through. From what you have posted, you need some tender reassurance during the day. He needs some intimacy. So start slow and listen to each other.
This can be just a blip. He was watching porn to have a wank, not great, hiding it probably because things between you had become a bit strained and in a bit of a rut and he knows it wouldn't have helped sort of if he came clean about all this. And the situation just spiralled a bit and got out of control.
Do you both want to throw away your family and marriage over watching porn?
Talk and listen to him. Don't judge or go off on one, if you want to get through this. Be honest. Be supportive. If you want him to desire you and you want the physical part of your relationship back you have an opportunity to tell him what you need to get there now. As does he.
I felt physically bit rubbish, bit flabby, lost confidence in the bedroom, my H was sad I felt this way reassured me that my pleasure was as important to his as his own (this is in a nutshell) and since then we haven't looked back! We've been acting like teenagers whose parents are away. But it took a rut to get us both out of our mundane assumptions.
If you love him, and want to stay together it's worth a try. Just keep blame out of the conversation. And listen. What do you have to lose?
Hope you work it out whatever you want.