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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can abusive men ever change?

28 replies

gamerwidow · 23/09/2016 14:55

My DSis has just got engaged for the second time to her abusive partner. In the past 2 years they have broken up and got back together numerous times because of his controlling emotional abusive behaviour. They were due to marry last year but he left her (along with all the debt from the cancelled wedding). During their time together he has strangled her, pushed her, punched her and stamped on her face knocking her front tooth out. He had also belittled her calling her a slag and a whore if she glances in the direction of another man when she is out. When she left him 6 months ago I really thought it was for the last time but now I find out they are back together and got engaged last week. She swears he had changed but I can't forgive her did the hurt and upheaval he has caused. I worry so much about my niece and nephews and I don't know what to do for the best.
Am I wrong is it possible he has changed? I want to be happy for her but I just feel like it's a times

OP posts:
ShebaShimmyShake · 24/09/2016 08:00

Kidnap her. I'm only half kidding.

AyeAmarok · 24/09/2016 08:14

This is so sad.

I think, very rarely, some people can change in a different relationship.

I don't think it sounds like this one will.

gamerwidow · 24/09/2016 09:23

Sheba if only! I really thought she'd turned a corner this time having been 4 months free of him. I wish I could have her locked away and deprogrammed.

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