Sorry, it's long
Been with dp nearly ten years and have almost 3yo DS together. I was training to be a chef when I fell pregnant, he wasn't planned but is loved very much now he's here.
My original plan was to get a job as a chef after I finished my diploma, work for a while and then we would think about babies. As it happens, the baby appeared before the job.
DS is in nursery two afternoons a week and I originally thought that I would go back to work when he started there, thinking I would start in the afternoon and work until late evening, not unusual for chefs, but dp was very negative about this and it never happened.
Now DS is starting preschool in a few weeks, he normally wouldn't until January as that's when he's eligible for the 3 year funding but it's an academy and they take them as soon as they turn 3. It's five mornings a week. I really want to go back to work, only part time so I don't miss out on DS too much, with him at preschool in the morning and wrap around care for when it finishes. So I could work two or three days a week.
Now dp seems dead set against this too. He won't even entertain the idea of a childminder, says it won't be worth the money, if I want to work 'go and do nights in asda'.
I don't want to work in asda. I'm not a shelf stacker, I want to use my bloody diploma and do something I actually really love (I decided to train after working in a busy kitchen and it was the best job i ever had, I actively looked forward to going to work. I've worked in retail and hated it with a passion).
My mum has offered to look after him after preschool two days a week and I haven't spoken to mil yet but I'm 100% certain that if she can mind him she would be delighted too. They both work full time so have to work around that but both dote on ds. I don't mind working two days and an evening, three days, two long days, whatever to make child care doable. But dp is adamant that it won't be doable.
It feels like all he wants me to do is stay at home with the kid and clean the house. Both of my parents worked full time when I was little and still do now so I know it is doable.
Just had quite a nasty argument with dp about this over the phone. He's in work atm. He keeps calling now but I'm not answering because I don't want to be snarled at and sworn at which is what he did when I told him I was looking at childminders. He said 'stop looking at childminders and get the fucking house clean'.
The house is a bit of a state atm because he's just done three nights and I didn't want to disturb his sleep clattering about cleaning in the day and by the time DS was in bed there was really only time for the very basics. I was going to have a good blast of it today while DS is in nursery and I can power through it with no distractions.
Sorry this is a bit rambly! I'm just feeling a bit shaken atm :(
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Don't know what to make of this
85 replies
Hagothehills · 22/09/2016 10:43
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