Sorry, it's long
Been with dp nearly ten years and have almost 3yo DS together. I was training to be a chef when I fell pregnant, he wasn't planned but is loved very much now he's here.
My original plan was to get a job as a chef after I finished my diploma, work for a while and then we would think about babies. As it happens, the baby appeared before the job.
DS is in nursery two afternoons a week and I originally thought that I would go back to work when he started there, thinking I would start in the afternoon and work until late evening, not unusual for chefs, but dp was very negative about this and it never happened.
Now DS is starting preschool in a few weeks, he normally wouldn't until January as that's when he's eligible for the 3 year funding but it's an academy and they take them as soon as they turn 3. It's five mornings a week. I really want to go back to work, only part time so I don't miss out on DS too much, with him at preschool in the morning and wrap around care for when it finishes. So I could work two or three days a week.
Now dp seems dead set against this too. He won't even entertain the idea of a childminder, says it won't be worth the money, if I want to work 'go and do nights in asda'.
I don't want to work in asda. I'm not a shelf stacker, I want to use my bloody diploma and do something I actually really love (I decided to train after working in a busy kitchen and it was the best job i ever had, I actively looked forward to going to work. I've worked in retail and hated it with a passion).
My mum has offered to look after him after preschool two days a week and I haven't spoken to mil yet but I'm 100% certain that if she can mind him she would be delighted too. They both work full time so have to work around that but both dote on ds. I don't mind working two days and an evening, three days, two long days, whatever to make child care doable. But dp is adamant that it won't be doable.
It feels like all he wants me to do is stay at home with the kid and clean the house. Both of my parents worked full time when I was little and still do now so I know it is doable.
Just had quite a nasty argument with dp about this over the phone. He's in work atm. He keeps calling now but I'm not answering because I don't want to be snarled at and sworn at which is what he did when I told him I was looking at childminders. He said 'stop looking at childminders and get the fucking house clean'.
The house is a bit of a state atm because he's just done three nights and I didn't want to disturb his sleep clattering about cleaning in the day and by the time DS was in bed there was really only time for the very basics. I was going to have a good blast of it today while DS is in nursery and I can power through it with no distractions.
Sorry this is a bit rambly! I'm just feeling a bit shaken atm :(
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Don't know what to make of this
Hagothehills · 22/09/2016 10:43
'Get the fucking house clean' wtaf? 
Does this twat have any redeeming features?
Well he's been in a crap mood all day. Came home from picking DS up from nursery and he didn't even acknowledge me when we came in, never mind a cuppa not even a hello. So I said hello to him repeatedly until he replied (very curtly).
He's been short all evening, I went upstairs to collect some glasses and he said to me 'get pyjamas' I said 'please. Get pyjamas please. A bit of respect would be nice' and 'don't speak to me like something you found under your shoe'
He said well stop acting like it then (meaning he thinks I'm taking the piss because the house is a mess)
He's watching cartoons on the iPad with DS before he goes to bed and says 'what are you going to do down here, I want an answer so I know what to expect' I said I'd brush the floors. He then gave me a list of jobs to do. I must have given him the evil eye because he said give me that look again and it will be the last look you give. I said are you threatening me now? He said no I'm telling you I work too hard to support this family for you to act like a lazy bastard.
Then he said I should do the cartoons because he's not in the mood and he would do the cleaning. I said no go and see your child (who was upstairs on our bed alone at this point, waiting for his dad to give him cuddles before bed). There was a bit of tooing and froing and he's upstairs now. I'm doing a few bits while he settles DS because I don't want a blazing row, he throws things when he gets really angry and I don't want to wake DS.
Oh god, reading this back he sounds awful 
There are times when he's so sweet and caring though
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