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Original poster

Would you leave a 7 1/2mth old stay at his grandparents overnight...

65 replies

DetentionGrrrl · 05/02/2007 07:31

when he has never slept through the night?

Step MIL is constantly asking to have DS overnight, and i'm not sure that i'm ready. Plus, he has never slept through- he came close last week, but has been back to waking twice a night again.

I know she has the best of intentions, but i think she's forgotten how much work it is just chasing him round, never mind the night time stuff.

I'm almost tempted just to shut her up!

OP posts:
anniebear · 05/02/2007 07:47

I wouldn't do it to shut her up, I would do it to give yourself a break and to give her an evening/night with her Grandson

If he is 7 month, surely she won't have to be chasing him round too much!

She may end up thinking it was too much hard work, or probably she might have a lovely time and not mind losing a bit of sleep for one night

Jump at the chance, there are many on here that would

anniebear · 05/02/2007 07:48

and, if he hasn't slept through the night yet......even more reason to leave him with Granny

earlgrey · 05/02/2007 07:49

No. Couldn't bear it, however much I held her in high regard.

winestein · 05/02/2007 07:50

HELLOOOOO!!! night off! HELLOOOOOO!!!
Are you mad? Bite her hand off! She is asking to do it. Most people have to beg

lazyline · 05/02/2007 07:51

I would, if she lived close by.

WeaselMum · 05/02/2007 07:53

Not unless he knows her really well and she is usually able to settle him for naps etc. Otherwise I'd just be worried all night.

sunshinestarr · 05/02/2007 08:16

Yep I'll do it. I had no problems leaving my children with mum and my mil.

My mil was like in her 70s she kept begging for ds to sleep the night, I didn't want to put her out, we did it in little steps.

First we did a half night like dropped d/s round 3 out for dinner and the movies drink at a cafe then picked d/s up at 11ish

We did this a couple of times just to reassure ourselves.

Then we did the whole overnight stay where we had dinner with the mil then called round early the next day we did this a couple of times.

Go on do it, if not for yourself for your dear husband who'd probably would love to have some alone time with you.

Cloudhopper · 05/02/2007 08:23

I would do it if I thought the break would do me good.

brimfull · 05/02/2007 08:24

God YES ,You do realise how LUCKY you are to have the opportunity don't you???

dejags · 05/02/2007 08:28

Absolutely GO FOR IT!!!

I am sure she will expect him to wake. He will have 24 hours of absolute undivided attention, you will have a 24 hour break.

Assuming that you MIL raised your DH/DP without mishap I am sure she is quite capable of spending one night with your DS.

Have fun

Original poster
DetentionGrrrl · 05/02/2007 08:30

anniebear- he is almost walking, and climbs over EVERYTHING, so yes, lots of chasing!

I DO know how lucky i am that she's offered, and she only lives 20mins away.

Perhaps i am just being too clingy and looking for excuses not to

OP posts:
winestein · 05/02/2007 08:32

Is he your first?

Original poster
DetentionGrrrl · 05/02/2007 08:33

yes

i have visions of waking at 3am and screaming 'i want my baby!!!!!!'

OP posts:
beansprout · 05/02/2007 08:34

Don't if you don't want to. There is a difference between wanting a night's sleep and ds being somewhere else, with you not being quite sure how he is. If you wouldn't enjoy it, then thank her but take her up when you are ready. Ds is 2.3 and I have only been away from him for a work weekend which I had to attend. I still don't think I am ready to leave him with other people (and I say that having been awake since 3.45!!)

winestein · 05/02/2007 08:40

Dont worry DG... my DS is my only one so people can always say "is he your first?" Now aged 2.1 it is easy for me to say "do it" as in retrospect that's what I would do now IYSWIM.
Beansprout is right - if you wouldn;t actually enjoy the time off, it would be a pointless exercise. Would you consider the softly softly approach taken by Sunshinestarr?

Rebi · 05/02/2007 08:41

DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!! Neither set of GPs offered to mind our ds (now 10 years old) and he never slept through the night until he was about 5 years old. We worried that it would be too much, but now in hindsight I really wish we had asked. They still have not offered. In 10 years we have had about 5 nights to ourselves. DO IT, your DS will be fine and you will get much needed rest. It is hard, but like most things in parenthood, it is for the best for both of you. The fact that MIL has offered means that she wants to do it, so he will be looked after perfectly well. Good luck - it is hard, but will be worth it to get a FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP (imagine that!). Your ds will benefit too, as you will be over the moon to be with him again. Sorry going on, but.... DO IT!!!! (I am so jealous!)

NotQuiteCockney · 05/02/2007 08:41

What's the longest she's had him for? Do you trust that he'd be safe?

Obviously don't do it until you're ready - I didn't let my ILs have DS1 overnight until he was nearly 5. Now he loves going, and really looks forward to his visits.

lizziemun · 05/02/2007 08:43

Yes, dd stayed overnight with my mum from about 6mths.

I wouldn't worry about him not sleeping throught the night because dd always slept through the night if she was at mum's but didn't sleep through the night for me until she was nearly 2years .

My sil left her dd's with her mum from about 4weeks. Now they are 8 amd 4 they go away every year for 1 week and 3 or 4 long weekends without their children.

beansprout · 05/02/2007 08:44

It's one thing to want an older child to be away overnight, but this is a baby and if DG doesn't want to hand him over (and this sounds like it is all driven by her MIL anyay) then she doesn't have to. That said, DG, if you want to, that's absolutely fine but it has to be what you want and not what anyone says you should do.

winestein · 05/02/2007 08:44

Actually, do you think your MIL would notice if we passed my DS off as yours? I could really do with not getting up at half 5 for once!

prettymum · 05/02/2007 08:46

i have let dd stay over with dps mum since she was around maybe 5 months+, i really needed a break and she really helped out. now with ds here too, they havent really stayed over, but if i need a break i wouldnt hesitate to ask.

nearlyfourbob · 05/02/2007 08:46

Going against the flow here - but no, why should you? You say you are not ready - that's a good reason. If she is doing it so you can get a sleep then could she come to yours and be night nurse? But I think it's that for whatever reason she wants to be in sole charge at her house.

I only let ds stay overnight with MIL once he was old enough to decide that he wanted to (he'd have been 3 and a bit), I had to be somewhere early the next morning and so it suited me too.

mylittlestar · 05/02/2007 08:49

If you trust her and she's good with ds and good at settling him, AND, you think it would be good for you and DH to have a night on your own - then do it!

If you're unsure, you'll worry all night and end up being more tired and stressed yourself, then tell her you'd love her to have him and as soon as you feel ready she'll be the first one to know!

hunkermunker · 05/02/2007 08:52

No, because neither DS would have settled without a bf at that age (DS2 often still won't at 12mo).

Don't feel pressured to, but equally, if you want to, why not?

mawbroon · 05/02/2007 09:01

My DS is 15 months and I have never left him anywhere overnight, or for more than a couple of hours through the day for that matter. The bottom line is that I just don't want to. I would say that if you are happy to, then go for it, but don't feel bad about saying no if that's how you feel.

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