I'm a regular mner but didnt want to show my name because I feel so sad and am normally so chipper.
Me and DP have been through a bizarre time just lately- not rough- just erm.......quiet on the love front. He's been working hard and late and we just haven't had a lot of time for each other. we havent fallen out- just had a bit of a quiet month! If anything it's made us feel a bit distant and we haven't had sex for a few weeks which is unusual but also havent really sat and cuddled or had a laugh together. It hasnt really bothered me cos we've both been busy and have just put it down to that really. The best word I can use to describe it is distant. and perhaps lonely.
The thing is I sneaked upstairs early this morning while DD was downstairs having breakfast. I wanted to burst into spare room and make him jump and when I opened the door he was looking at porn on the computer.{sad] I was so shocked I just said 'what?' and walked away to which he started lying and saying it was the top gear website. He obviously DID NOT want me to see what he was up to. It was a website with lots of disgusting pictures of women, really horrible and hardcore. I'm not a prude but the whole thing made me feel ill.
I've cried all day over this and half feel I'm over reacting but I'm just so upset. I almost feel like he's cheated on me. He's showed no interest in me for weeks but secretly he's looking at pics of women with their legs wide open?! eh?!
I don't feel at my best recently which he knows. I've had braces put in privately which I have wanted done for ages but hardly makes me feel sophisticated and had a disaster short hair do. I haven't whinged though but deep down do feel pants just lately plus we've been ttc but it hasn't happened which has knocked me for 6. He just seems oblivious though and then I find out all along he's getting kicks elsewhere.
OH GOD!! I sound like a right moaning prudish old bag but I really do feel like I can't trust him and he's betrayed me. Please somebody give me some advice?????!!!!!! xx