Bit of background - My boyfriend and I live together - have done for about 2 years. Ups and downs but mostly downs at the moment..
I adore him but I think - and not in every way, he is an amazing boyfriend in lots of ways - he's selfish and quite egotistical
So today during an argument I was explaining that it was hard for me to feel close to him, or to want to work for the relationship given his actions in the past
There's been more than a handful of occasions where he's slapped me, he once pulled me out of the car in a public street by my arm, he's choked me so I can't breath, pushed me, punched me (not really hard though).. I've come away from a fight bleeding. We had new neighbour come round on a Saturday morning concerned because he was forcing me to stand and face the wall, I wasn't allowed to move and I was shouting. We've had full fights and I'm the first to admit I've hit back so I'm as bad as him I know that
It's just he shows no remorse. None. He doesn't even seem to think he's done wrong - his answer is 'well you drove me to it'. I love him and we do have good times, he does so much for me but I can't help but feel sometimes like I'm going mental or something!!
His version of events just seems so twisted?! He calls me crazy over and over and laughs that I get wound up when I'm sure that thats not how it went.
He calls me manic depressive if I'm not 100% chatty all the time - I'm a chatty person, I bet I'm described by friends and colleagues as bubbly, gregarious. I am a fun person - at least I think I am - but if I don't give him 10000000% all the time I'm 'in a huff' or moody. It's so draining
I'm not sure why I'm posting. Maybe other stories of people who've got out of a rut like this? He's a really good guy most of the time, he's got a good job, just been promoted.. He's a high flier and I'm really proud of him and want to make it work. Thanks (sorry it's so long)