Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

thanks vxa2

I think the big challenge for me (well, one of them!) is the 'danger' zone which I have 3 times a week - DD has an after school activity which involves me hanging around waiting for her for an hour or so. There are numerous bars/off licences around. It is all too easy to go to one. Last night the café was lovely, but I walked past an off licence on the way to the car. If it had taken more of an effort, perhaps I could have held out. On Monday, once I was safely home without alcohol, it wasn't too difficult not to go out again especially to get some, so the urges were easier to deal with.

So I need to come up with a plan. Today we would usually go out to eat after her activity (free kids meal with an adult one!) - but I would usually drink wine with mine, then stop for more on the way home. I think I'll say I'm not feeling well (I'm not ) and that we'll go tomorrow. That only postpones it, though.

I'm seeing a counsellor (not specifically alcohol related) and told her last session that I was drinking heavily, and that I struggle to find ways of enjoying/rewarding myself that isn't alcohol, and I struggle to find/make friends. I threw that in at the end of course but we're going to talk about it this week.

Hi. Has anyone got any tips on how to stop? I think I'm an alcoholic. Any other options other than AA?

Do you think you need medical assistance to stop Butter? Gp or local drug and alcohol advisory clinic to advise you? There's a thing called SMART recovery in place of the likes of AA, they do have meetings too and online. Quick google will tell you more about it. Then there's many of us that just use forums, blogs, books etc and posting here as support.

Thanks for that. How would I know if I needed medical assistance?

Can you recommend any books?

Butter, you can go to your gp and ask for help, or find a drop in centre.

I'm on day three. Tonight will be hard - I usually watch bakeoff with friends with loads of prosecco. I will take elderflower cordial and say I have a big day tomorrow. Does that work for other people?

It really would depend on the frequency and quantity of drinking Butter. I'm not a HCP so loathe to give advise, I would put in a call to your local advisory clinic. Do you stop for periods of time or get withdrawals if you do? Some people taper to be on the safe side.

I've just gone to check my kindle and the battery's dead so will get back to on the books later. Off the top of my head I can think of the Jason Vale Kick the Drink Easily, dying for a drink ( can't remember who by but I found that one pretty scary tbh, maybe best leaving it for a while) and Annie Grace, This Naked Mind.

Fab going on 3 days Boy. Sounds like a good plan to me, maybe some nibbles too if you don't do that?

Thanks. It's a bottle of prosecco a night. 1.5/2 on a Friday and sometimes sat. I can normally manage Sunday or Monday off, but the evening after a night off I struggle not to buy wine.

Also, I will avoid GP if humanly possible. My health records are checked for work.

Boy well done on getting 2 days under your belt :)

Day three for me is always hard (not sure why but I have said before when giving up booze or cigs that days 3, 10 and 21 seem harder than others for some reason). This time on my day 3 I was faced with a really big night out with all my friends for a special meal which we had been waiting for over a year to do (long story). There were 11 of us there and all were drinking, out of the 11 I was typically one of the bigger drinkers. I uhhmed and ahhed ALL DAY, particularly as another one of my friends had also not drunk for a while and said she was going to have a drink so I knew I was going to be on my own not drinking. What I did was take some non alcoholic beers, wine and fizz to the venue prior to getting there so the first thing that was put in my hand whilst everyone else was pouring out the prossecco was a glass of non alcoholic fizz. Yes it was sweet and a bit revolting but it got past that whole having a different glass and obviously not drinking bit where everyone else likes to ask you why you are not drinking and also start telling you to "go on just have one!!" I then switched to the non alcoholic wine during the meal and later on when that got too sweet I switched to the non alcoholic beers. You know what it was absolutely fine and I got up the next morning feeling FAB. There were a couple of people who looked at me incredulously at the end of the evening and said "what? you haven't drunk anything" whilst eyeing up my "beer" and "wine" bottles as it all looked like the real thing. A lot of it is in your mind and association and just by holding a glass of similar/same looking stuff can be a very powerful tool. I didn't really have to say a word about not drinking which took a lot of heat out of the situation. I have since had another couple of nights out with big prossecco drinkers and just did the same and it's been fine. This was one of the biggest things I worried about but I have got through it. You can also say the best ever excuse at this time of year - Stoptober! :)

Allington - another useful tool I use is to mentally flick the wine witch off my shoulder. Accept the cravings for what they are and give a little shake of the head and physically kick the whispering witch to the kerb.

Interestingly my sister also drinks a lot and we both gave up together. During one of our chats about quitting she said but I never crave wine and I said well what do you think that 5 o'clock desire for a glass of wine is? She was really enlightened and had never thought that was a craving and once she acknowledged it for what it was it was much easier for her to ignore it and get past it.

Another thing is to eat - if you make sure you eat before even considering a drink you might find the craving dissipates considerably.

Butter - I drank more than you and didn't need medical intervention. If you have a night off a week already and don't suffer any side effects I am sure you will be fine. If you do suffer with any side effects then do consult a doctor but I wouldn't consider it a must with what you have told us.

The Jason Vale book is good, as is the Allen Carr book - this thread is a godsend and people are always really complimentary of the Andrew Johnson hypno apps.

Welcome bean everyone is different but I was drinking a bit more than you and I didn't need a medical detox. If you are managing one or two alcohol free days a week you will probably be ok. I referred myself to my local addictions service and I did not need my GP to be involved - I have since spoken to her though because I wanted to. Could you try that - you should be able to find your local service if you google it.

SMART Recovery is a good alternative to AA. Also sober blogs and the Bubble Hour podcasts. When I first stopped I listened to them almost constantly.

Keep posting here x

Sorry didn't mean to sound dramatic Butter just when someone says they drink but not how much I err on the side of caution and ask as I've seen withdrawal fits with two friends.

I would say you'd be fine too. I was drinking a good bit more than that, red wine too which has a higher abv but usually had nights off too. I stopped with no problems, other than the yucky 'hungover' feeling type stage.

Thanks all. I drank 2 bottles last night. No real reason (other than life stress). Called in sick to work as too hungover to go in. Felt shite all day and now all I can think about is having some wine. I'm so fucking ashamed of myself.

ButterBeanSoup - you are among friends and you haven't done anything we haven't all done.

Make today a new day and just try and stop for today. Don't think about next week or tomorrow or anything, just think about today. It is absolutely beautiful here although I am not sure where you are could you maybe go for a walk and take yourself out of the house for a while?

Get some sugar in you, it will help with the cravings, go and buy a nice magazine of your choice, get a hot chocolate and curl up on the sofa or in a nice bath. Download something to watch on the tv and just get through tonight....

We are here, egging you on!

Thank you. I'm think of ordering a pizza later. I always find that eating reduces cravings. It's making myself eat that's the issue (because in the moment I don't WANT to reduce the cravings, if that makes sense?)

Belle's blog is a great help. As is Jackie's site at Sober Sassy Life. Also our own Lucy's site.
Read lots of sober blogs and books - I would go overboard on sober treats to make you feel good about not drinking - reward yourself for not doing it! Put yourself first and don't feel guilty - the most important thing you can do is look after yourself first - the rest will follow.
Lots of water, rest, nice things to eat or drink, tv or books etc and do as little as you can get away with for the first couple of weeks, at least. Rest and let your body recover from alcohol toxins.
good luck xxx

Decided to upgrade the take away pizza for a lovely Lebanese take away. Full, cuddling on sofa with DD watching bake off. Day 1 almost done.

So stressed so bad my dc has been goin through a naughty patch and tonight it affected my other dc.so took naughty dc to my parents said can stay there the night as I didt know how to deal with it. It broke my heart but dp agreed tough love and all that!
Feel the worse parent in the world I did go in shop looked at the drink but then got full sugar soda.
Hope that calms the nerves!

Well done choc!

I have fake beer for bakeoff, will stay in til 11 then I can't buy anything. Day 3 is a success so far.

Good boy stay positive x

Thanks lou

Well, we went to our usual eating out last night, as I was feeling a bit better, but I managed not to drink alcohol! Very pleased . That's 2 days out of 3 not drinking.

Onwards and upwards...

Did you get ok last night Butterbean?

Well done Alli and Boy

Hope today's a better day with your dc choc Sometimes they really know how to push your buttons and you are not the worst parent in the world for needing a bit of space.

Oh thanks tattoos
I was so tempted to drink for that moment in shop but so glad I didn't.
I stayed in control go me! It wouldn't of made me feel any better or my dc behave. Hope everyone has a good day!

Well done everyone some really good achievements here!

Alli, the association drinks are really quite hard and you are going to have to dig deep to get through the dance classes every week. Is there something else you could do instead at these times? Download a audio book? Listen to a podcast, go for a walk? Take up knitting? go for a facial? go to the gym even for 20 mins? Something to help you get through those times when you hit the bar could really help.