Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

Good to hear from you choc and gotta....

Welcome pinkcloud99 - you sound quite similar to me in your drinking habits - and 101 days after having decided that I needed to and wanted to change those habits I am much much better for it.

I find it quite scary thinking about what the 70-80 bottles that I haven't drunk in the meantime look like.

How have you been today?

That's great one. I think cooking is good for the soul. Eating well is really important for recovery too.

Welcome mrsm and pinkcloud and good luck for your first week - hopefully you feel better already (and I think chocolate is a mandatory item of the sober toolbox as well as chicken and thyme sensations !)

one re the socialising - as long as your content with your level (which it sounds like you are as being so productive around the house) that's the main thing. I find it goes in phases - sometimes I'm out more than the gas others I'm like a recluse!

gotta and choc it sounds like we are all being super productive at the moment ! Ideal time of year I think to do it and then enjoy the results on cosy nights in

choc really good news on the relationship front for you! Onwards and upwards!

Day 4 :-)

Well done mrsm. Keep positive x

Fabulous day 4 MrsM.

good to hear from you choc that is lovely news - so BRILLIANT that things are improving for you. Just read back your posts from when you first joined and look at that change!!

Well done mrsm - those first few days might be hard, but you never ever have to do them again. You are free!

Things are tough here. Hanging on to sobriety by my fingernails. I'm about to settle in to do my yoga and headspace.

x

Hello everyone,

Today it's been hard work to stay positive, but I've managed it! Went out for coffee with a friend - we've found a late night cafe that's 5 mins walk from our houses, exactly in the middle, and we are both just at the stage where we can sneak out for a bit leaving the kids home alone - so that's lovely. And it's a social life without any drinking!

And I've just reached the £400 mark on the money I've saved from not-drinking! How cool is that!

Well done Mrsm on day 4
one - you are amazing, stay strong. You got this.

Waves to lizzie, gotta and yellow (Is there a backstory to your name Yellow? And what is it? I'm very very intrigued...)

Thinking of you Tattoo's, if you're still reading!

Hi all,

I need to write this somewhere.

I am an alcoholic. I have been for years I think. An open bottle is an empty bottle - most nights of the week.

In my twenties I always got the drunkest at any social occassion. I got a reputation for it. I was a drunk bride, a drunk girlfriend, then a drunk wife and sometimes even a drink mother. I had absolutely no idea how to socialise sober - I had never tried! I made an utter fool of myself time and time again : blackouts, puking, insulting people, losing friends. I didn't value myself or other people. I don't think I even know who I am without alcohol as I've been relying on it to be someone else - someone more confident, able to crack jokes, know what to talk about, etc etc - since I was 15 years old. It was a revelation. I was a shy girl with no self-confidence and suddenly discovered that all I had to do was pour this stuff down my neck and I could become the chatty, funny, sociable person that I so wanted to be.

Once I puked at the table during a works dinner. Another time all the hotel bedroom carpet. I put myself in danger by walking home alone in the middle of the night. I was unfaithful to my first husband a couple of times, when under the influence.

I have become so dependent on alcohol that I do not know who I am without it. I don't know what kind of relationship my husband and I have if you take away the nightly bottle of wine (me) and three big bottles of ale (him).

I have completely disrespected my body and am 3 stone overweight. I constantly eat utter crap in an attempt to get rid of my (almost) daily hangover.

One glass is NEVER enough. Yet, one is too much.

Nowadays, as I have four kids, on the few occasions that I meet friends or acquaintances I do so during the day (coffee) so all my wine guzzling happens during the evening in the comfort of my own home. So from the outside, people that know me now, see : a good mum (always claiming to be a bit tired but who wouldn't be with 4 kids), a business owner, a wife, someone pretty in control and quite successfully juggling so many balls. Oh, if only they knew.

Fuck. I am an alcoholic and I cannot touch alcohol ever again. I'm literally killing myself.

I have no idea what happens next.

Pink you have already taken the hardest step...recognising the problem, accepting it and trying to deal with it. That is a massive step and probably the most important one, so well done. Keep it up, the first few days and weeks won't be easy, but you have decided you are no longer that drunk person so you can do this. Get yourself something nice to treat yourself when you feel the need for a glass of booze, nice soft drink, small bar of chocolate, or go to bed early (not easy if you have young kids), have a soak in the bath and read loads of sober blogs, books, for us etc. You need to put yourself first. I was a home drinker rather than social, as we always have to drive everywhere...I'm on day 48 and feeling much better both physically and mentally. Go you !

Pink a massive hug and round of applause for spelling this out for us and for yourself.

Because you are the person that really matters.

Have a think about what will help you stay sober and well. Lots of people here will tell you what worked for them - or look up the previous DRY threads where there are many more stories.

Lots of us here are currently using self-help: sober treats, nice non-alcoholic drinks, mindfulness/meditation/blogs. Some go to AA.

My first glimpse was doing Sober October a few years back - other people's sponsorship kept me at it. My only regret was that after doing the whole month I went back to near-daily wine. Hating and ashamed of my weakness when I was presenting a different picture to the outside world.

Yay patchwork! Seven weeks!

Thought for the day: when you stop drinking you realise how often people refer to it... God I need a drink tonight, looks like he's still pissed from last night, etc. Now I don't wish I could have some too but think, yuck, no thanks.
Draining day at work today... have been out for 11 hours. DH helped with bedtime-hooray. Now for a bath, winter PJs and Bake Off wrapped in a blanket
Lizzytea don't regret your mistake, you are back here in the right place. I think sometimes we need to slip up to realise what really matters.

Evening everyone hope you all have had a good day.

Well done pink for getting it out - I hope it was cathartic for you. As others have said - look after yourself with sober treats and work out what works for you to motivate yourself - and reward yourself - for staying sober. For me it was finding an alternative drink. My routine was to out a bottle of wine in the fridge in the morning and open (drink) it as soon as I finished work. So I would look forward to it all day. I still do the same but with a non alcoholic drink (I am now rather the expert on new juices and lemonades) so I'm still looking forward to something and enjoying my routine but with a different drink and in a way that then doesn't write off the rest of the night.

Another I found enormously useful was to write my list of 'benefits'. So - I will have more money / I will not be rough and hungover in the morning / I will be more productive / I won't feel anxious and shameful because of my behaviour and so on. In fact just writing that I've realised that I haven't felt ashamed of my behaviour at all since I've stopped - when it used to be a regular occurrence ! I read back through them when I have cravings and it encoursges me to keep going.

finnish no exciting back story to my name in afraid ! I've a yellow super lamb banana on my mantelpiece which I looked at when choosing my user name... Though I do live quite near to Liverpool and have been known to try and climb on one every now and again !

pink sober treats to teach yourself to self sooth without alcohol are terrific. I never learnt that as a child - no role model of normal behavior in reaction to stress, good stuff/bad stuff etc - all I had to model from was violence, abuse and drinking.
I don't do violence, not very much shouting but yes - the alcohol was always my go to for any emotion good or bad.
It IS possible to re train the brain to seek out other stuff when happy or sad , and not turn to alcohol, it takes time and LOTS of sober treats ( in my case, at least)
Don't have to be expensive treats, just things that make you feel good about yourself and life. A swim, nice tea or coffee, a candle, a walk, meditation, 5 mins of "me" time ...
Hugs xxx

Gotta - s'ok, sorry I wasn't clear. Been here on the DRY wagon since June. Not planning on getting off any time soon!

But Sober October three years ago - I surprised myself at how straightforward I found it and realised that it all lay in making a meaningful promise- I raised £800 in sponsorship so I really couldn't break it.

What I've been working on since is how to make the same kind of promise to myself, and keep it. Doing OK, but am thinking that, like a marriage, you've got to keep working on it.

I liked Hurricane's reminder of the sneakiness of the wine witch.

I'm just dropping in to say hello to the new joiners, and wave to the old timers.

Lizzy you have just started when I stopped positing regularly - great to see you keeping on !

and hurricane and glad really pleased to 'see' you too

Pink - I have been exactly EXACTLY where you are - except I have three kids only. YOu CAN do this and you CAN change

drop into my blog (www.alcoholfree2016.com) theres some detail about the early days there - although I posted more here then. Im now 203 days sober, and I feel a different person. I have shed my partner who was a cocklodging bastard who disrespected me and my children, and gained a shed load of self respect.

It CAN be done. xxx

Hi pink - I'm in a similar position (but started in my late 20s and have only 1 child!).

I managed an AF day Monday, mildly anxious and miserable in the evening (I get bored and lonely) but OK... but bad insomnia. Tuesday I had to work late, managed not to 'drop in' to the off-licence on the way home - then went out to the off licence anyway but the friend who was babysitting for me had some (I had the most of course...).

Last night drank 2 bottles and feel sick and headachey today, not surprisingly.

I was pleased with Monday though. Just wish I could do that every day...

Hi lilybetsy nice to see you!

Prompted me to catch up on your blog too, it's great to hear you sounding so positive.

Hello ladies !! Waves all round. Hugs to those who are struggling.

I am 6 months sober today and as Lily says I feel like a different person. It is bloody hard work but it can be done. I too have a blog and I find writing it and reading and commenting on other blogs really helpful - especially as no one in real life knows how serious my problem with alcohol is. Lily's blog is great. Mine is sothisissober.com if anyone fancies a read xxx

Ah I get you Lizzytea. vxa checking out your blog, thanks for the link!
Great evening out with friends this evening. I'm feeling more sociable than I used to now. It's exciting planning fun things to do that involve driving home at the end of the night! Feeling productive about New Sober Life. Good stuff.

6 months!!!!! Woo you are a star vxa

Another klaxon from me vxa!

And...when I was a single figure newbie, 30 days, 100 days, 182 days seemed unattainable but now not so much.

Another little milestone for me....went for a quick drink after work with a friend....and had a Diet Coke without even blinking. Not even a twitch towards the wine.

Happy Friday sober warriors whether it's day 1, 10, 100. You are all awesome.

6 months is fantastic!