My H and I separated end of last year, but it has taken until March/April for him to really understand I was not going to change my mind. Even then we go over the same conversation over and over. He just will not fully accept it. We told our families and the children. He will not leave the house (and to be honest financially we cannot afford to this year but if had to we would). We were managing to live alongside each other amicably. However he still seems to think there is a chance but I don't understand why.
This weekend I was away staying with a friend. I visited this friend a month ago. She has been through something similar and has been helping. As its quite far away I did not tell him I was going there the first time. To be honest I am getting fed up explaining everywhere I go as we are separated. I have seen a solicitor/counsellor but said I was going to a friends. I visited my Gran for advice but said was going shopping (or kids would have wanted to come).
This is the bit where I get flamed but I ended up speaking to a guy online (via here) who is going through similar and also met him for a coffee. Only coffee. I don't know if this will progress, he lives 200 miles away.
I got up on Sunday to a text from H basically saying I was lying where I was this weekend (I was not) and that he knew I was having an affair and so on. It was a really angry text send at 2am. He had been drinking. He thinks me having an affair is the only reason I would be leaving him. I have explained over and over I am leaving him for various different reasons and I no longer love him.
I got home and he was so angry, he had smashed a wall, had smashed the patio doors. He has been stalking me for a year on find my iphone.
I feel suffocated. I think I have turned off find my phone (can anyone help test). I am scared what else he is going to smash if he gets angry. He has never been violent to me in 20 years. He does have a vile temper when drunk though and is unreasonable then too. I wanted to confess about meeting the guy for coffee but I am scared of his reaction.
Can anyone help or give me advice?