Hi everyone. Posting anon for obvious reasons.
Had a miscarriage at 11 weeks a few days ago. It went as well as it could - painful and messy yes but it happened at home and was over in a few hours. But my partner's reaction really confused me.
We've been together over 5 years, very happy relationship (love of my life - we're usually great together) although he has a really bad temper (throwing strops when life doesn't do what he wants - not sleeping well, things not working, minor stuff that most people just live with).
So the other night I came home from work, had some cramps and heavier bleeding. Was scared so got in the bath (standard reaction to any trauma...get in the bath) and asked him to keep me company. He was pissed off because he wanted to watch the basketball, rolling his eyes, all that.
The pain got worse so I curled up on the floor. It was at this point that he started to really have a go. Stepping over me to pointedly 'tidy' the house. Start shouting within earshot about how there was 'food everywhere' (I'd been preparing dinner when the pain got bad). How the house was a tip. How he had to do everything around here. I asked him to stop; he stood over me and started shouting about the same cr*p, about how hard his week had been, how he hadn't slept well. By this point I was crying in pain and pretty much begging him to stop. I crawled on all fours to the bathroom and passed my baby alone. I've never felt so alone or uncared-for in my life.
I'm confused because this is a loving, intelligent man who I know cares for me. He makes my packed lunch, he brings me tea every morning and I'm similarly loving to him. I know he has a temper but this seemed incredibly callous.
I don't know what I'm expecting you all to say. I think I'd just like to know what you think. I don't want to leave him, but as I've told him I don't know if I feel confident to go through another pregnancy in case he does this again.