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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this a red flag?

103 replies

WTAFF · 03/08/2016 08:30

I went on a date yesterday with a man I've been dating for a few weeks.

He told me we were going on a walk. I was really looking forward to it and was dressed appropriately with boots etc.

The walk turned out to be a hike along a high river cliff which was completely overgrown. At points I was having to practically crawl under trees and cling on to the grass so as not to fall over the cliff. Although I admit I'm not great with heights. I was genuinely scared.

He took a bit of a huff that I was struggling and walked on ahead not speaking to me. When I asked why he couldn't have helped me out a bit instead of walking off (at some points I actually couldn't see him) he said there was no point, as if he helped me we would both grind to a halt and his way, at least one of us kept moving. He also said I needed to find my own way.

I'm a bit Shock. I'm meant to be seeing him again on Friday. I suggested going out for a meal but he said we could get a takeaway instead. Should I ditch him now before it gets worse or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
Notfastjustfurious · 03/08/2016 08:33

At this early stage he shouldn't be going off in a huff and leaving you on a cliff edge to find your own way. Fuck that. I'd say that's a sign of what he's really like and go now before there's feelings/attachment etc.

DownstairsMixUp · 03/08/2016 08:35

I'd say leave to. Sorry!

Only1scoop · 03/08/2016 08:35

Not necessarily a red flag, but I think you may have different interestsWink

CwtchyQ · 03/08/2016 08:36

Next!

ditsygal · 03/08/2016 08:37

It's a sign of what sort of partner he will be. I wouldn't expect my husband to act like that! I would definitely move on from him.

GinIsIn · 03/08/2016 08:38

Why on earth would you want to see an arse-hat like that again anyway?! Good riddance!

HooseRice · 03/08/2016 08:38

He's a pillock, move on. No need to worry about red flags.

Graceflorrick · 03/08/2016 08:38

Never see him again!

Northernpowerhouse · 03/08/2016 08:42

If this is the honeymoon phase, what will he be like futher down the line? Definitely, Next!

TellMeSomethingNew · 03/08/2016 08:44

I think it depends how he said it. If he was legitimately annoyed then maybe give him another chance but not more than that, if he was laughing and made a bit of a joke about it I think you might be over reacting a bit Smile

attsca · 03/08/2016 08:48

He sounds bonkers, that's not a date.

KittyKrap · 03/08/2016 08:50

Fuck that shit!

ElspethFlashman · 03/08/2016 08:52

My Dad used to pull that shit when I was a kid. Those awful "improving walks".

You're dating my Dad, and he's treating you like you're his kid, getting huffy that you're falling behind and spoiling it for everyone.

Dump.

aLeafFalls · 03/08/2016 08:53

Why would you even consider it?

QueenLaBeefah · 03/08/2016 08:55

He sounds awful.

Destinysdaughter · 03/08/2016 08:57

Appalling behaviour.

DO NOT SEE THIS MAN AGAIN.

EVER!!!

Selfish, arrogant, uncaring. And tight

Just no.

sarahnova69 · 03/08/2016 09:01

So, right at the start of things, he has to be in control, he decides what you do, and if you fail in any way to live up to his mental model of the ways things should go, he sulks like a child and leaves you to it.

...yes, he is dressed from head to foot in red flags. Ditch.

mimishimmi · 03/08/2016 09:08

YES!!!!!!!

WavingNotDrowning · 03/08/2016 09:08

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FreeFromHarm · 03/08/2016 09:08

Red flag definately

WavingNotDrowning · 03/08/2016 09:08

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RedMapleLeaf · 03/08/2016 09:10

He should be all about showing you how caring and considerate he is at this stage. This is him at his best.

davos · 03/08/2016 09:11

Not sure I would classify it as a 'red flag' but he sounds like an arse who doesn't have any patience.

I would love a hike as a date. I wouldn't love someone being a tit because I can't keep up, especially if it's not something you do a lot.

ProfessorPickles · 03/08/2016 09:12

Run a mile, imagine yourself doing it to him. Would you have walked off leaving him struggling?

The most important thing MN has taught me is to listen when people are telling you who they are, and he's given you a great example of who he is!

Pearlman · 03/08/2016 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.