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Original poster

Is this a red flag?

103 replies

WTAFF · 03/08/2016 08:30

I went on a date yesterday with a man I've been dating for a few weeks.

He told me we were going on a walk. I was really looking forward to it and was dressed appropriately with boots etc.

The walk turned out to be a hike along a high river cliff which was completely overgrown. At points I was having to practically crawl under trees and cling on to the grass so as not to fall over the cliff. Although I admit I'm not great with heights. I was genuinely scared.

He took a bit of a huff that I was struggling and walked on ahead not speaking to me. When I asked why he couldn't have helped me out a bit instead of walking off (at some points I actually couldn't see him) he said there was no point, as if he helped me we would both grind to a halt and his way, at least one of us kept moving. He also said I needed to find my own way.

I'm a bit Shock. I'm meant to be seeing him again on Friday. I suggested going out for a meal but he said we could get a takeaway instead. Should I ditch him now before it gets worse or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
papillon0306 · 03/08/2016 11:40

I'd say don't leave... RUN as fast as you can. Putting aside the whole 'romantic walk' (you kidding me, what a weirdo), but the thing with you suggesting to go out for a meal and him saying to get a takeaway instead... I can only imagine what a lovely personality has and can imagine how you'll be stuck in the house with no going out and with him buying takeaways. Probs overreacting here but I could see that happening in veeeeerrry short term. Nope. Run. Run. Run

NeedAnotherGlass · 03/08/2016 12:21

What a wanker!
He doesn't give a shit about you and thinks you need improving.
You definitely deserve far better than that.

ElsieMc · 03/08/2016 12:33

That is just scary, what if something had happened to you? Never mind going on another date, you needed to let people know where you were going and who you were going with! Like you do at work when you work with members of the public you are uncertain about on a risk assessment!

Can you imagine your takeaway - who can eat the hottest, spiciest food the quickest?

Move on op, you are so much better than this. What an experience.

toadgirl · 03/08/2016 12:38

Can you imagine your takeaway - who can eat the hottest, spiciest food the quickest?

Haha, yes!

Can't just see him ordering for you actually and ordering a vindaloo or something and telling you that you're weak and "not trying" if you can't handle it.

toadgirl · 03/08/2016 12:38

*CAN just see him FFS

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 03/08/2016 13:04

He reminds me of a man who shouted at me for getting lost on my way to our date and then hung up, leaving me stranded at night in an unfamiliar part of town. Needless to say I didn't see him again, and I don't think you should either OP.

TheNaze73 · 03/08/2016 13:18

He sounds like a tosser

Original poster
WTAFF · 03/08/2016 13:27

Haha - the last time we went or for a meal he had a go at me for ordering a starter and then proceeded to eat really quickly so that he had most of the starter. When he had finished his main, he started helping himself to my meal! Angry

I really have excelled myself this time with my arsehole magnet.

OP posts:
toadgirl · 03/08/2016 13:31

Wow, OP!

GET RID

This is meant to be the honeymoon period too! Can only go downhill from here.

Flowers
category12 · 03/08/2016 13:35

Whaaat? Honestly someone who moaned about getting the starter, then scoffed it and ate his and my main meal would never get another date. With the best will in the world, what the hell are you doing woman?!

Fuckoffdailymailyoufuckers · 03/08/2016 13:38

Dump him. From a great fucking height. Stand him up! He is a terrible wanker.

merville · 03/08/2016 13:39

I once walked/climbed up Arthur's seat in Edinburgh with a male friend and his girlfriend (he is younger and was prob. early-mid 20's at the time); was not prepared and was wearing unsuitable foot-wear ... he led the way, constantly checked behind him and came and gave me his hand to get up any trickier bits ... and I was only an acquaintance/friend.

Is this a red flag?
Destinysdaughter · 03/08/2016 13:41

Have you DTD with this man yet? ( obvs don't answer if you don't want to ), but I bet he's crap in bed too...

Original poster
WTAFF · 03/08/2016 15:52

I don't really want to say if we have DTD. But I will say he hasn't been particularly attentive to my needs in what we have done!

Thanks everyone for cheering me up. On Friday I shall treat myself to a takeaway I think and eat it in peace!

OP posts:
holrosea · 03/08/2016 16:08

WTAFF, I believe that your suggestion is the best possible solution in this situation. Enjoy your takeaway! Wine

Norwolf · 03/08/2016 16:21

Yes, put ur running shoes on ..Grin You shouldnt be dealing with stuff like this, too early

WanderingTrolley1 · 03/08/2016 16:27

You need to move on from that one.

KittyKrap · 03/08/2016 16:29

WTAFF, for your takeaways buy a starter AND a main course and for every mouthful think of how bad the future could have been!

Missgraeme · 03/08/2016 16:38

Personally would have done a Janine on him!!

Dozer · 03/08/2016 16:44

Yes yes, get the takeaway but ditch the dickhead!

It's a weird and sobering thing to find yourself in potential physical danger when out with a man, have found myself in that situation a few times, and it's rarely a good sign!

Figgygal · 03/08/2016 16:44

HE ATE YOUR FOOD Shock

Dump his ass pronto

Dozer · 03/08/2016 16:46

I mean danger from somewhere he's taken you to, eg the cliff, not directly from him!

My ones include cliffs, boats on the sea, very bad/fast driving, drink driving (by the bf), walks in deep bogs, "having a go" on a thoroughbred horse having never ridden in my life (it threw me off).

I know better now.

ChanelNo314 · 03/08/2016 16:48

yeh that sounds odd. I hill walked with a man recently and although I'm fitter than he is and he knows it, he was beating a path ahead of me to make sure there weren't too many brambles etc. and when we had to climb over logs and cut through a field he really helped me.

ChanelNo314 · 03/08/2016 16:50

lol at doing a janine

Lweji · 03/08/2016 16:51

Well, you've come to the right conclusion. Everyone else is right.

Perhaps keep the date on Friday and arrange to meet on top of Ben Nevis. Cancel 5 min before the time. Grin

He sounds like a prize twat.

The hike itself would have been fine to me, although someone nicer would have checked it was ok with you first or only suggest it if you were both into that sort of thing. But upon realising you were struggling, he should have kept up with you and help you out.