Should he have told me?

[KeepItToYourselfPlease]

Ex has DC this weekend. Just messaged me to say he will be late dropping back today as he is in a seaside town with DC over 200 miles away.

I have no problem with him taking DC to the seaside, that's lovely, but it was a shock to get the message out of the blue that they were so far away. I'd assumed they were 20 minutes down the road.

I've messaged to say I'm not happy that he didn't let me know their plans until now. He's says I'm overreacting. I don't expect to be told their every move during his weekends but it just didn't feel right my child being so far away and I had no idea.

Am I overreacting?

I will do, thanks

We've had a chat about it and I explained as its early days it came as a bit of a shock, and have made it really clear that I'm not trying to place restrictions on anything.

Thanks for the constructive advice

No hissy fits were had, and not at any point did I 'threaten to leave mn'.
I said I wonder why I post on here sometimes. No hissy fits.

I will, and have listened to the replies, however I did not appreciate some of the more acerbic comments. It wasn't necessary given the fact that I am still clearly coming to terms with my current circumstances.
Posters are welcome to voice their opinions certainly, but I will defend myself if I feel these opinions are unnecessarily harsh.

In answer to your questions; I would most certainly tell ex if I was taking DC over 3.5 hours away. Absolutely. Just like I would if we were still together.

The RAC do not carry spare tyres and the replacement tyre he had would not be sufficient to get him the 250 miles back.

I was pissed off that DC ended up being 6 hours late home, after is not seeing them for over 48 hours. I missed them and was concerned about them being on hard shoulder for over 2 hours.

Is that acceptable? Do my emotions, reactions and explanations match up to your standards?

OP apologies if I was blunt - yes, transitioning from parenting together to being separate is difficult.

I do think that you may be assuming a lot though:
I've always known where DC was at any given time. Pretty usual circumstances for most parents of small toddlers.

I'm not sure that this is the usual circumstances. Many, many parents rely on family, or paid childcare; they go away for work or family weddings, or one parent is a SAHP while the other works and doesn't know what the DC's movements are.

You have parented in a particular way up until now, and have assumed when starting this thread that most parents share that experience.
I'm not sure that it is as typical as you think it is.

DC are also looked after by family, grand parents, friends and paid childcare.

Obviously I do not know their exact GPS location, but all of those listed above would absolutely let me know if they were taking DC on a trip such a long way.

I'm not expecting to be told about a trip to the library, several hours away at the other end of the country? At this point, yes.

all of those listed above would absolutely let me know if they were taking DC on a trip such a long way.

I'm not criticising - that's fine if everyone is happy with it - but I do not think it is as "usual" as you seem to think.